To just stop offering DD breakfast and lunch?

Please don’t cut anything back and just offer her what she likes- 2 slices of ham is better than nothing! What else will she have, stop worrying about whether it healthy or not at the minute- the calories are the focus.

How does she eat when she is around friends or cousins/ other kids?

I would offer her exactly what she likes and talk to the GP and Health Visitor.

Does she like dips? That can often be helpful even if it’s just ketchup!
potatoes - slice some baby potatoes into thin slices, oil/seasoning, air fry. Don’t need to parboil, little effort and they look attractive/like crisps. Plus you can eat them if she doesn’t!

OP if she is obsessed with ham then I would look for a nitrate free variety like the Finnebrogue variety. Then give her that, hopefully eating each morning will eventually cause a habit/ hunger pattern that then opens her up to more foods.

My nephew was similar at 3. He hated eating for some reason. Except cake and gingerbread men 🙃

"So she eats nothing ?"
"or you offer snacks ?"

Sorry, @turkishdeelitee, but these are both questions and the poster wasn't rude to ask them. The "stop the snacks" is understood to apply only if you were giving snacks.

Instead of realizing that these are pertinent questions, you have inferred (incorrectly) that you were being criticized in some way. You weren't. You've been touchy with anyone who suggested you took it the wrong way and you'd rather stop talking about it than listen to anyone who disagrees with you. You backed yourself into a corner and don't want to admit it.

I've backed myself into said corner more times than I can count. There's only one graceful way out.

My advice (NOT an order) is easy:
You were rude.
Own it, apologize briefly to @Blondeshavemorefun, and then move on.

I hope this situation with your daughter improves soon. I've been there and I have so much sympathy.🌹

my 3yo is a bit like this, sometimes he’ll live on one bite of banana all day then sit down and devour a huge dinner at 7pm.

I used to get stressed until I read it’s a parents job to offer - not to force them to eat.

Lunchtime today I made him a cheese sandwich and cut up and apple, he asked for both and ate neither but I consider my job done as he had the opportunity to eat!

Yep, i saw. Why i said she doesn't want our advice.. even though you, me, Sirzy and i think Emerald (if i remember rightly) probably have a whole lifetime of experience between us and have been given ALL the current advice on fussy eaters & ARFID diets.

If she will eat ham for breakfast/lunch, I would give it to her until better eating patterns are established, then you can start adding other things into her meals.

If she will eat ham for breakfast/lunch, I would give it to her until better eating patterns are established, then you can start adding other things into her meals.

Yet if you read her reply above at 16.31

she does offer snacks

People are telling you to offer her what she’ll eat because that’s the official advice from professionals when dealing with a fussy eater.

OP, I understand that you’re stressed but you come across very rude in this thread.

You need to offer three square meals a day, plus snacks. Forget the food waste

To be honest, I'm getting quite a controlling vibe off OP.

I find when people are controlling about things, that seeps into more than one area in life and I feel that perhaps the food issue is being exacerbated by a power play based on control.

Just give her some ham.....use it as a gateway into a ham sandwich then add some cheese in with the ham , then maybe a quiche lorraine. I KNOW ham isnt the healthiest but she isnt only ever going to eat ham for the rest of her life. Ask the GP/health visitor and get their opinion. I swear it will be the same as I am suggesting. Ham has a lot of protein.

Buy something like Naked ham or from somewhere like this:

https://www.organicbutchery.co.uk/collections/organic-nitrate-free-ham

Well sure if you want to be done for neglect. Why on Earth would you not offer two out of three meals a day? It's irrelevant whether she eats them you can't just stop offering food.

tbf OP this poster has gone above and beyond to offer advice so clearly their original comment wasn't intended rudely or maliciously (and as PP said if they'd just included the word 'if' then all of this could have been avoided so perhaps they simply missed this tiny word!)- your replies however are completely ignoring their advice and going on and on about them 'making things up'. I think I know who comes across more rude.

Also, just let her eat ham if thats what she wants.

You be surprised how much choice can cause confusion and anxiety in some children. Just giving it to her might cut out the pre food anxiety. No discussion beforehand.
Tell her to take her few bites before you take it away. I would drop the breakfast.

I wouldn't bother, OP has decided it isn't ARFID, so our advice isn't wanted. She's too busy moaning at Blondes for being 'rude'

Difference is that many thought you were rude

only you think I was rude

and later you said you do offer a healthy snack. Tho she may not eat it.

a few have replied who have limited /lucky eaters and all have been told to not restrict the food their child will eat

If she will eat ham, I’d just offer that for breakfast. Maybe once she starts eating that she’ll realise she is hungry and then you can reduce the ham.

I am not pro-ham btw, as I hate it and never eat it myself!

So in a typical 24 hours what does she eat?

You keep responding

You did say she had a big snack in one of your comments though 🙈

My daughter seemed to run on a bit of a 48hour eating schedule at that age. She also got bored easily so grazing plates while playing worked best. Pre-school helped most of all because when they all sit down together to a set lunch she would sit and eat the lot along with everyone else.

You could try making a menu (of images) and let her circle what she wants but she probably just isn’t hungry. I think if she eats well at dinner you don’t need to worry about afrid

Having raised it for at least a year first