To just stop offering DD breakfast and lunch?

Mine did that at your daughter's age and still does. I had so many people telling me that she'll eat if she's hungry. She didn't. She has now finally (at the age of 15) been diagnosed with ARFID and possible coeliac disease. Probably ND too.
Your DD may grow out of it but it may be indicative of other issues. The one thing you can't do is force them to eat - it just doesn't work.

Only read a few comments. Could you do breakfast a bit later? My little one wouldn’t eat breakfast (still doesn’t as a teenager) but will eat around 10/11 in the morning. She prefers eating later. She’s still not had tea yet she’ll eat that about 7 and she’s always been like that. Also if she’s eaten breakfast dinner and tea 1 day she might not eat proper meal for another 2 days. Drives me insane but she’s always been happy and healthy and never lost weight so no one would do anything about it xx

My son was exactly like this and it was stressful tbh so I feel for you.
we started asking him what he wanted to eat, and whatever he requested we’d give (within reason) also started getting him involved in making and plating the food helped.
for a good 18 months he literally ate brown toast, rich tea finger biscuits and fruit. It was hard!! He’d often have rice for breakfast because that’s what he wanted. The docs said as long as they eat, it doesn’t matter what. Obviously not sweets etc
give it a go tomorrow asking what she wants.
my son is so much better now but still doesn’t eat as much as a typical kid (but I have a small appetite too)

You sound rude.

The PP was asking you a question!

Yeah weirdly my dd was similar with cheese and yoghurt. I mean what child won’t eat petit filous and babybel?

it got worse as she got older. Until she broke out in awful acne at 12/13.

eventually we put 2 and 2 together and came up with a dairy allergy. Explained so much about her weird eating and “sickness bugs” she kept getting.

it wasn’t until she cut out the dairy completely she was able to articulate that she always had a low level nausea and reflux- it was so normal to her she didn’t realise.

OP, the taking the ham out of the sandwiches and leaving the bread resonated with me - it's what I used to do when I was a child. My Mum got so angry with me. But 40 years later I was diagnosed coeliac. The bread didn't make me particularly unwell, but my body clearly didn't want me to eat it. Just a thought?

Perfect. No fuss. Nothing. Just perfect.

And like a pp said just try coco pops or something for breakfast, absolutely fine

I don’t think the pp was taking the piss. You can soak, then slow cook a gammon joint, then roast and slice - not as easy and nipping to the supermarket and getting some from a packet or the deli counter but a way to get something the child would eat in a less ultra processed way

She might when see sees others eating. Stop sweating about food. That is what she is picking up. Young children will not be starving themselves to the end. That is what teens do and she doesn't have that mindset at her age.

A bit left field, but how are her bowel habits? Does she ever say her tummy hurts? Any auto immune conditions in family such as arthritis, diabetes, asthma etc?

My youngest was a bit like this, she would have a couple spoons cereal , a couple bites of lunch and then say 'I'm full'. We could coax a couple more spoons/bites in but nowhere near a full meal, the biggest anount eaten was at dinner. She ate a good variety of food but not much of anything and had slow weight gain. She got quite constipated so I eventually took her to gp, and after blood tests she was diagnosed as coeliac.

We cut gluten, and within a month she was eating 3 full meals, plus snacks. I think her tummy was so uncomfortable that she just didn't want to eat. She got a bit less bloated as day went on so was happy to eat a bit more at dinner, so this just made me think your daughter sounds similar.

Firstly I would raise this with a Dr - not eating for what could be 24hrs on a regular basis is not normal and should be monitored.
Let go of what foods should be for breakfast, lunch - offer whatever she likes best ( within reason )
can you get her involved with prep of food - pouring cereal , buttering toast etc
offer choices ( but limited ) eg - do you want jam or peanut butter on this bread
try setting up a buffet type breakfast or lunch - fruit , crackers , yogurts , then let them graze
offering choices and encouraging independent choices can make some children more interested in the process of eating
Its a very trying and worrying thing when children refuse food - but try not to let your worry show .

Fine, he has full time 1-1 anyway due to other needs but both his primary school and secondary have been great with it. He doesn’t pump at school so just goes somewhere quiet and uses a large syringe to do it. It’s one of those things that’s terrifying at first but after a while it just becomes normal.

I now 78, was a very fussy eater. I would eat loads at my Aunts, for my Mum very little. Aunt was short of money (4 other children) so much was watered down. My DM made sure every thing was the richest in cream, cheese, very rich in fat/oil. My stomach could not tolerate that so I rarely ate and worried my parents. Try not such fatty/rich food. Porridge or cereal with more water, same with potatoes, gravy/sauces with some water added etc. Stop adding calories is the message really and don't fuss. Children live/thrive in less affluent areas. Put a plate of food down and walk away or sit and eat with them, stop fussing.

Please, please don't do the "sit there until you eat it" method.
I was a very picky eater as a young child and was subjected to this. As an example Sunday lunch was at 1pm and I would always be still sat looking at a cold plate of food at 5pm and then not allowed any other food for the rest of the day.
All you will achieve by this method is create food issues and a very stubborn, determined child. Just keep offering food that she likes, if she's hungry she will eat and if she isn't she won't. You sound like a lovely caring Mum OP and I realise how stressful this must be but don't make this a battle as it's likely to be one that you won't win x

Poor love and poor you. How does he manage at school?

For him it will most likely continue long term, there is no plan to change anything. He eats a lot better orally than he did but nowhere near enough calories to sustain. It doesn’t help his main oral intake is fruit so nowhere near enough calories

Back in the 70s my friend had a child (No.3) who, on the face of it, ate very little. Dr asked specifically what she ate: Porridge at some time during the day, some cooked bacon occasionally, vegetables most of the time, some bread and butter plus whole milk. When added up it was quite a lot for a very little one across a week. Dr said it's not a problem looking at the whole picture. Child thrived and DM relaxed, child ate more a few weeks later.

Try and look at her eating over the entire week rather than day to day. If she is a healthy weight and height etc., I wouldn't worry about it. Also, perhaps wait until she's at nursery and then see how she does. I know some children who were restrictive eaters who ate much better at nursery because they were amongst all the other children eating and there was some peer pressure to conform.

Buy a cut of meat like pork shoulder and then cook it and cut it up.

I think you can cure it yourself by rubbing salt onto it and then washing it off but I’ve never done it so OP would have to look up a proper recipe.

I think someone posted one up thread.

I assume gammon is also less processed than packaged ham, so even that’s better (that’s what I use as I like thick chunks of ham in my sandwich).

whats the plan for the future?

He went straight to the tube directly into his stomach so we have liquid feeds (basically high calorie ready made formula!) which are pumped straight into him.

Others may have NG tube which is through the nose but that tends to be shorter term (or while waiting for PEG surgery). With DS it was urgent and they knew he wouldn’t tolerate tube in his nose so it was done in two weeks and 8 years later it’s still going strong! (Well the button is changed every 3 months!)

Same way as it does with a baby /toddler who is ng tube or peg fed

i mean. If she would eat crisps ham and milk. I’d be happy with that

apparently I only ate fish fingrfs beans and chips for 3 years. My mum took me to the fr who said and the problem is??? There’s protein fat and carbs.

so that’s what I ate for breakfast lunch and dinner

She will be fine as soon as she starts school she will find her appetite. I was the same with my son and my daughter they both eat like horses now. In the first few years you struggle to get a rice grain into them the all of a sudden they find their appetite. I wouldn't worry if she was eating nothing then I would worry. She will enjoy food eventually.