To just stop offering DD breakfast and lunch?

My mum always maintains that kids have days for eating and days for not, and assuming you’ve had her checked over by your GP, and nobody has any concerns, I would probably try and just roll with this phase x

My children often don’t want breakfast (8 and 6) but they will eat fruit instead, so maybe start giving her fruit for breakfast instead.
As stressful as it is try not to let it show. Would she have soup for lunch? She could have it in a cup so it would be more like a drink?
good luck, hope she starts eating soon. I totally get how stressful it is as I have been through it too.

Sorry if this has been suggested. One of mine did this so I took the pressure off by leaving some healthy food to pick at rather than a sit down. Later we sat down and ate the same lunch etc which helped. Its very tough when they dont eat x

My daughter was like this. Nibble breakfast and wanted her nap not lunch. So for a while I went with it until she started a growing spurt and dropped her nap. No baby/toddler will intentionally starve itself to death. Some of the other responses about continuing to offer are good but my little one was nodding off!! She's a perfectly healthy size 10, 19 year old. Try not to worry.

Random suggestion if you come back. How often does she go for a bowel movement? Maybe get the GP to check for constipation. If she’s struggling to pass through what she does eat then she might feel full. Does she drink much water?? I’d definitely have the GP check her over.

I know you don’t think ARFID could be something for her but her fixation on ham and avoiding other foods suggests it could be that. I’ve know children who would only eat a certain brand of chicken and could tell if someone tried to pass off non branded. They would need to eventually be fine fed as they would refuse all offered foods. I know she’s not this bad however it’s worth keeping an eye on. Dieticians are fairly good if you can get a referral as they might be able to help make sure she has enough calories - some children can be given high calorie meal replacement milks if it’s becoming worrying.

My daughter was, and to a degree still is, like this (she’s now 7). At some point I just decided that meal times were becoming an argument and I didn’t want that, so backed right off. She would only eat dry cereal for breakfast but not until about 11am. For lunch she’d graze on a bit of fruit, and carried on coming back for it, so I just thought ah sod it - and started just making her a picky plate and let her go back and forth. She still doesn’t eat much, she eats little and often, and still has a very limited diet. But she’s healthy, growing, and thriving. I guess what I’m trying to say is that sometimes you need to pick your battles.

On another post parents said they gave age appropriate choices. OP have you tried this: Would you prefer, say, egg or youghert? Showing the choice at the same time.

Could you try incorporating ham into meals - like ham wrapped chicken breast or mac and cheese with ham pieces in it or a ham and cheese and tomato toastie or something?

Have you had her checked for Coeliacs? I was diagnosed late in life (30s) but always had this sick feeling most of the day my whole life where I didn’t feel like eating at all until tea time and I just thought it was normal/IBS until it came to a head and I was malnourished and got the diagnosis of Coeliacs Disease.

How is her communication? Could she describe to you any nuanced illness type symptoms? I would feel professional help at this point before she becomes malnourished

What drinks os she consuming? Is she fuelling herself on milk? That's quite a common thing!

If only it was as easy as that. The little one is exercising her right to choose and be picky. It's not until they go to school and eat with children their age they change their eating pattern.

I don't know who was trolling you or what they were saying, but you've started a thread that has veered from I'm worried that my child doesn't eat to, my child eats, but a food I don't want her to. The vast majority of the many helpful replies are gently offering you solutions, and a high percentage are giving you the advice not to pick the battle of what specific foods she eats.

Gently, it seems like you are imposing your own orthorexia on your child. I'm sorry if you're in a stressful situation with your husband's health, and I wonder, both, whether your DD is sensing that and reacting to it - if things feel a bit off-kilter and out of control, the one thing she can control is whether she eats; and whether this is the right moment for you to dig your heels in on ham and crisps? As many of us are pointing out, while there are strategies to expand her diet, all health professionals will tell you that calories are more important than content at this age.

Good luck.

People are concerned about your child. Please ignore the troll and ensure your dd is fed by any means. Including the ham.

Be patient though and try not to get too stressed. I had a v fussy toddler who would eat more than your DD but at 14 he's still got a limited pallet. But it does get better. Good luck with it all.

OP there's nitrite free bacon now at M&S - so that moves it away from UPF and into just pork.

If the thread is stressing you out, then just come away from it.

If you think someone is trolling you, then they can’t do that if you’re not reading their replies.

My friends DD used to be like this and all she wanted to do was eat quavers, the doctor actually told her to let her eat whatever she wanted as the calories etc were more important. She grew out of it and eats normally now, I would say if she wants to eat ham let her eat it, it's not going to be forever and eating ham is better than eating nothing.

Take a breath, @turkishdeelitee - ignore the troll, and focus on the helpful posts - you sound stressed to the max.

What shit-stirring?

Or do you mean the replies who don't agree with you?

I’ve Honestly missed the troll replies. Gone over my head

but I am sorry to hear that your dh is poorly /ill 💐