To just stop offering DD breakfast and lunch?

You are rude.

Don't worry, it will improve! Keep offering, that is all.

Very rude

Also consider letting her serve herself where possible.

it wasn’t perfect and instead of chicken, potatoes, peas and corn it meant that some days DD had a plateful of potatoes and corn, but it meant she ate something. It meant the battleground of meals ended, and gave control. It also helped as she got better at explaining “I don’t want the corn as x reason” or “I don’t want the chicken because it touched the broccoli/touched your fingers/it looks funny”. I also used that as a chance to teach her having more of one thing is ok “mummy is having extra peas as she doesn’t like corn” if there’s something you don’t like.

I offer offer offer and reinforce you need weetbix /veggies to grow big and strong! After months of only eating the sultanas out of her milk and weetbix as breakfast she’s started to eat the weetbix. For ages it was just a little but this week she ate most of the bowl once. She comes to me and sticks out her arms to show how big and strong she’s gotten when she’s had some. I will caveat she does have big sporty brothers so that makes big and strong very much a goal but we also bring it up at the park and outside running around.

I also gave my son milk with every meal - it was important to me that he did get protein even if he didn’t eat the protein on the plate. My view is that overall nutrition trumps perfect meal until they are old enough to explain the concept of food waste, manners, trying things and reasoning things out

I would do the little bowls idea, then if it’s not touched it’s not wasted
cut up fruit, a boiled egg, some ham or cheese cubes in separate bowls and just leave them out on a table “food there if you want something later”

smoothies? It sounds weird but oats, warm milk, banana, honey blended is really nice

I had a tot that could eat enough at one sitting to last several days. We were going to Macdonald’s with the rest of his toddler group once a week. He’d eat enough there to last him until we went for Chicken rice mid week. We had to stop the meals out for him to get hungry enough to eat at home.

Try sitting her with you, maybe on your lap, every time you eat. Let her pick pieces off your plate. Obviously taste things yourself and comment how nice they are!
I’d do little picky plates for mine, things like a few peas, a couple of chopped grapes, tiny cheese squares, a strip of chicken.

I’d make a flat omelette out of an egg, and use it as the ‘bread’ in a sandwich. Roll it up with fillings inside.

YABU

There is a big difference between not giving your child breakfast and lunch and preparing breakfast and lunch but your child not eating it. My friend got in trouble at school for not providing her dd with a packed lunch because "she never eats lunch".

Just offer it - you've offered breakfast and you've offered lunch - you've done your job as a good and responsible parent. If she declines there isn't much you can do except encourage and cajole.

I have a son who was a bit like this and was what doctors would call a happy starver. I carried what I called his “gateway foods” everywhere - things that he liked so much that he would start eating, discover that he was actually hungry once he’d eaten the favourite thing and probably eat something else on his plate after that. It’s very tricky when they don’t have strong hunger cues. My son does eat well at school as everyone else is eating and there isn’t an alternative activity, but breakfast is still a struggle and I have to work hard not to get sucked into battles (I used to go everywhere early as he would have a sandwich in the car on arrival - being strapped in doing something quite boring I think gave him time to pause and realise he might be hungry). Solidarity. I hope it gets better for you, but it has for me!

This is bad advice. It is very worrying. What does your dd eat to ensure she has enough calories and not losing weight. Going all night up til pm the next day with zero food is really bad. My dd had anorexia it started by skipping lunch. It sets things off in the brain once they start skipping things. Your body needs to fuel regularly. My child said she wasn't hungry you need to reset by making them eat 3 meals and 3 snacks a day regardless spread out in the day resets hunger cues. If my 13 year old wasn't eating anything until late in the day I'd be very, very concerned.

You need to keep offering her. Whilst the food waste is annoying she needs to have the opportunity to eat on the days that she’s hungry.

If she’ll drink milk and eat ham I wouldn’t stop them either.

At 3 she doesn’t have the language or understanding to explain that some days she’s hungry and some days she’s not. Or that some days the strawberries look good and other days they look too slimey/dry.

One of my DDs has serious food issues because of a health condition. At 1 she’d chuck the plate if it wasn’t right. At 3 she’d say no. At 4/5 she’d say no but ask for something else. At 8/9 she’d be able to explain that she wasn’t hungry because her mouth was dry or the berries looked too slimey or she only had one as the texture wasn’t right.

What I would do is put three things, including at least one of her favourite foods, at breakfast and lunch time. Just put the food on the highchair tray in front of her and ignore her for 10 minutes while I potter about in the kitchen. No pressure. No encouragement. After 10 minutes, I’d take it away and go about the day cheerily. Removes all pressure and expectation but maintains the normal routine of the option to eat three times daily.

One of my DCs was like this. I would treat it as a phase and not stress. I would lean into just having some things she likes out and easily available and having very little discussion over it. Keep letting her have some milk after dinner - it's calories, protein and fat, which she'll need, and, for the moment, I'd look the other way on the ham. I have to say, my DC who was like this never wanted breakfast and still doesn't (and neither do I), so it could just be her.

Have you tried making mini muffins? You can use whole grain flour and fruit and apple puree and very little sugar, which isn't the worst thing. I remember my paediatrician (we were in NY) telling me that getting calories in was the most important concern at that age.

How about strawberries and yogurt for breakfast?

Do you get cross about this? I would honestly feign indifference to her and stick to relaxed, low effort options for the time being, whilst consulting the GP/HV. You may find this improves at preschool and she eats a more varied diet/eats more as lunch is often a sociable, low stress time with gentle peer pressure/a lot of encouragement to eat.

Do not stop offering.

My nephew who’s 2.5 barely eats either. He likes hard boiled eggs, breadsticks, avocado, hummus, crackers, yogurt, mini cucumbers, tangerines, biscuits, crisps, toast and will sometimes eat veg (he ate most of a roast dinner last Sunday which is rare!). His mum despairs but hides it. He’s still on milk but trying to wean it off him. Apparently he eats at nursery. He’s not exactly a small kid either so no idea where he puts food!

If her weight and growth is normal I wouldn't stress over it, at least for a while. Offer her food off your plate or put a few bites on a plate for her, if she doesn't eat it, don't worry.

I know it's a bit different as it's just one meal but one of my kids never liked eating breakfast. I don't eat breakfast myself. My other kid eats lots for breakfast. Everyone is different.

I wouldn't fuss over it, give her extra attention for it, or start giving unhealthy food like chocolate to tempt her as pp suggested. I think that going to lead to bad habits.