To be sceptical about the reasons a carer wants to adopt my adult disabled brother?

Sounds like they have lovely lives.

However, now imagine that a bad person wanted to exploit someone. Ok, so you can't financially exploit the food budget of £26 a week for an adult, but you could just about make that bit break even by giving this person (who probably can't advocate for themselves) cheap food. Again £400 a month for housing per person is pretty low, but say this bad actor has a reasonable mortgage, or it's paid off, that's an extra £4800 a year (and no one adult is using nearly 5 grand extra of water and electricity). Then this bad carer is getting £20,800 a year in self employment revenue to care for this person. Imagine they don't really take them out, if asked "oh John doesn't like going out, do you John?" or they only take them to places the carer themselves is interested in. Imagine they don't do all the things you or any normal carer does (as you listed) and they basically allow the disabled person to live a diminished life for £20,800 a year. They could even have a couple of these people and mostly leave them to occupy themselves while still being there with them (so not obvious neglect) and get double etc.

This is exactly how the person I mentioned operated. All the while ensuring the child couldn't move to a permanent placement (like was always intended). This person only got found out when someone who worked with them whistleblew etc.

The OP has already mentioned the carer has alienated family members and previous carers, that others who had concerns have been alienated AND that the company management have concerns themselves about the carer (pretty rare in my experience).

Yes, I have a six bedroom house. DH help me care for them as retired. I have a cleaner I pay to come 2-3 times a week for 2 1/2 hours at a time and a gardener who comes for 2 1/2 hours each week to cut grass short so they can play cricket in garden in large net. I'll plod on until you gest is 21-22 then I'm hoping they will have learned enough independent skills to live together in a house nearby so I can help if they need me and they can come home for a meal each week so I can catch up on how they are doing but they have their independence independence. I don't think anyone got rich from fostering/shared lives. In fact without my property portfolio to give me income I doubt whether we could afford to do it. They pay £26.07 per week for food so less than £4 per day, but I spend at least £45 food on each as they like high protein diet for their sport and lots of varied fresh fruit and vegetables and I often buy them a breakfast or lunch out.

You realise this is her brother not her child right? She didn't chose to be in this position, she isn't required by law or otherwise to be involved in his care.

Do they all live in your house together at the same time?

I am in no way saying any carers - paid or unpaid (like myself) can get rich from the situation but you must agree that there is an opportunity which can be financially exploited- it does happen.

I can't say too much but in the case I mentioned up thread, a paid carer did financially exploit a child. They provided a neglectfully low level of care on a temporary contract and kept blocking new placements in really subtle but deceitful ways. All in all, it wasn't even for that much money, but this carer felt set and it all made sense when it got fully exposed. Horrible. I know must carers are great but we absolutely cannot fall in to the trap of thinking they (like nurses, teachers) etc are all angels and would never abuse their position of trust. It does happen.

Maybe she means POA? .

She is being paid to care

Seems like she wants some sore of legal guardianship. This way still collect the payment but not have to do the paperwork? I have a special guardianship order for my foster son. I still receive payment (less than half of what we got for fostering) but it means I don't have to keep up on courses and no paperwork. Also means no social workers and no threats to ever remove him from us. Wonder if there's an adult version of this she's after?
Shared lives carers for adults are basically non existent nowadays. If you can't take over the care yourselves and he's not unhappy or at risk then leave them be.
Group homes or care homes for people with disabilities are not always nice. For your brother the transition would be hard as it would be a very different type of care.
Why don't you just ask the foster carer what she meant. Might be totally harmless and you're blowing it all out of proportion.

I get less than £400 per week as an allowance for caring for each late teen. I also get the £26.07 towards their food and I get £107 for their room which also includes electric, water, gas etc. I get less for looking after these over 18 teens under Shared Lives than I did fostering them when they were under 18. I am a landlord with a portfolio so the money I get from my property allows me to continue to care for these teens.

@EasyEVsending sympathies. What an incredibly difficult situation you’re in. Sending very best wishes,

I wish I had some useful suggestions for you

Hi OP I also have a sibling with additional support needs. In my situation it’s a learning disability. They are in supported accommodation 24/7. Our family sees her twice weekly and we have Financial and Welfare Guardianship. I’ve also worked as a carer for adults with varying disabilities.
It’s highly unusual for an organisation to have such concerns and formally pursue them; the fact they have is already a red flag.
I would actually immediately raise concerns with Adult Safeguarding regarding adoption. The fact the carer has mentioned this directly to your brother is highly manipulative, shows lack of basic knowledge/research and indicates financial motivation.
If the placement broke down, the Council would have to assess his needs and put in place an adequate support package. I understand how distressing this change may be but it does sound like the carer is very near the end of the line in terms of her employment; it may be better to plan for a move now than wait for things to breakdown.
There’s a lot more I could add, feel free to PM if I can help further.

Exactly...and describing DB as "mentally disabled" doesn't sound fully involved and understanding DBs situation.

Group homes that people are describing are often run for profit...single unsuitable rooms in an ordinary house, not well maintained. Carers who pop in morning and evening (maybe), help to shop on a specific day...often ready meals...not at all the same as being part of a home with someone there.

I work with people with learning disabilities and these lovely people sometimes share things so credibly that are objectively untrue from my own hearing but are the truth to THEIR understanding...could it be that DB wants to be part of a family where he lives...that wouldn't be too unusual we all long for belonging

He lives in the foster carer's home.

It is possible that she is looking after your brother for valid reasons, because she's good at it, likes the work and is paid. Not everyone in care work is out to rip off or manipulate those they care for as most PPs seem to think. Caring for a disabled adult is hard work, as you say OP.

It sounds like you are doing really well handling the situation. You are clearly putting your brother's interests first. Hats off to you.

The risk outweighs the benefits here OP. A safeguarding complaint from respite family and appearing before a board to de register in addition to your observed behaviours…

Does he live in rented accommodation?

even if you could adopt an adult why would she want to she’d stop getting paid, same for marrying him, she’d stop getting the wage she gets now and benefits wouldn’t come close.

Capacity under the Mental Capacity Acy is decision and time specific. That means any significant decision needs to be throughly explored, giving appropriate support, at the time of the decision.
Sorry if this has been mentioned before, not RTFT.

It sounds concerning.
Like coercive control esp with isolating him from other people or facilities.

Predatory marriage is a real thing.
Does he appear obviously disabled to a stranger say if he accompanied her to a registrar...?

OP, LPoA and Deputyship are two different things. If your brother is deemed to have capacity and wants you to apply (and or the other brothers and sisters) then you can apply and will likely get LPoA. Deputyship is for circumstances when your brother does not have capacity and is a bit more complex to organise. I am sure you love your brother but you need to be more organised. Without this type of paperwork you are not going to get very far in advocatiing for him. Is he happy, safe, secure, clean? Does he get to medical appointments and to his activities? - would a move be worse - yes, quite likely. Is she after his UC and PIP? - maybe? Does he have enough points for a mobility car - then again maybe that is where she's going.

Do you have the contact details of the former respite carer? Can you contact them and ask for their side, and find out if they are available, should you chose to complain about the current?

A point on LPAs. The one for health doesn't kick in until the donor is deemed to have lost capacity. The one for finance can start immediately the LPA is registered. I completed the form on behalf of my father and he signed it (I also completed the deputyship forms in case he was assessed not to have capacity). You need a 'certificate provider' - someone who has known the donor for several years and is prepared to talk through the form with them. If such a person is not available you can use a solicitor who understands the Mental Health Act or another agency. I used a company called Simply Social Work. They went in prepared to assess for LPA with the fall back of deputyship if they deemed lack of capacity. They spent over an hour chatting with my father to put him at ease, explained what they were going to do and then made their assessment. Capacity is judged 'in the moment' and at that time he was judged to have it. (A week later and deputyship would have been needed.) Nobody else is present during the assessment so there isn't any external pressure put on the donor. Be prepared for both but start with the LPA.

I agree with the suggestion to speak to his social worker and take it from there. I hope you are able to sort it out in a way that isn't too distressing for your brother or you and your other siblings.

He will also get his own money which she can control

She cannot adopt him. She is probably just playing to his needs. I wouldn’t worry about it.

I do know what caring entails. I have two severely disabled children who will require 24/7 care for rest of their lives. I also worked in related fields although I have less experience with adults.

So, is Shared Lives not 'employment' then? Or do you get a wage on top of the amount from their UC for food and board?

If he has a self directed care budget for 1-1 care can he not use it to employ someone else? He wouldn’t need a nursing home if he has already had needs assessment and entitled to a large package of care

£600 a week for 24/7 care? One person? That’s not legal