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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to not want them to drop in randomly to watch trains?

234 replies

FlatPat · 03/05/2026 11:30

I’ve recently moved to a home that’s close to a train station and opposite the track. A friend and her son who is autistic(As am I) have randomly appeared to see X or Y train. Most of the trains that pass are your standard passenger or freight trains but we do have a few better/well known ones passing through.

I don’t mind them visiting the odd time with advance warning but not just dropping in randomly especially as you can go to the train station to see them pass through or get almost the same view from elsewhere though I appreciate it’s more comfortable sitting in someone’s living room.

AIBU to gently suggest that they go to the train station instead?

TIA

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 16:25

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 03/05/2026 16:22

Are autistic people not allow to start posts about other ND people now?

Then report it if you really think that. Not sure why (the OP is autistic and it’s causing her stress plus it’s bloody rude and inconsiderate to just turn up, especially if you are ND).

Otherwise leave her alone or hide the thread

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I have left the op alone - i wished her well as well

If you can't read the thread before quoting me, thats not down to me

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 16:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You need therapy for personally attacking me

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 03/05/2026 16:23

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 16:18

One person cannot pile onto someone crowfollower

Theres already another thread whinging about an autistic child, on aibu, i bloody despair, its enough

Show quote history

Then hide it. Being autistic still allows you to be annoyed by the same things as NT people.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 16:23

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 03/05/2026 16:20

yes, you are personally very sensitive to things you think have happened on other threads, so you’ve projected this onto OP, who has shown nothing of the sort.

A sort of ‘be kind’ shut up response, with you believing you have some sort of divine right to police the thread as it’s triggered something in you.

OP’s issue at hand is valid, you can’t accuse anyone who mentions autism in any capacity to be inciting a goady pile on, because you feel upset at things in the past.

Edited
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Not really, ive explained why I commented to the op, and wished them well

Now I've got people quoting me repeatedly saying that they disagree with my view and that I need therapy for questioning the ops motive?

I've since offered the op my well wishes - not really sure what more you want out of me tbh??

Obama Reaction GIF
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 03/05/2026 16:22

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 14:20

This thread comes across as goady and an attempt to get people to pile onto your 'friend'

Yabu

Show quote history

Are autistic people not allow to start posts about other ND people now?

Then report it if you really think that. Not sure why (the OP is autistic and it’s causing her stress plus it’s bloody rude and inconsiderate to just turn up, especially if you are ND).

Otherwise leave her alone or hide the thread

crowfollower · 03/05/2026 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 03/05/2026 16:20

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 16:17

Well if you read the full thread, ive explained, multiple times, where I am coming from

Maybe have a read through?

Show quote history

yes, you are personally very sensitive to things you think have happened on other threads, so you’ve projected this onto OP, who has shown nothing of the sort.

A sort of ‘be kind’ shut up response, with you believing you have some sort of divine right to police the thread as it’s triggered something in you.

OP’s issue at hand is valid, you can’t accuse anyone who mentions autism in any capacity to be inciting a goady pile on, because you feel upset at things in the past.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 16:18

crowfollower · 03/05/2026 16:17

WHO piled on to the disabled? Other than you?

Show quote history

One person cannot pile onto someone crowfollower

Theres already another thread whinging about an autistic child, on aibu, i bloody despair, its enough

crowfollower · 03/05/2026 16:17

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 16:15

I disagree, as i've said above, another thread piling on the disabled is not needed which was the point of my post.

Show quote history

WHO piled on to the disabled? Other than you?

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 16:17

CatRestaurant · 03/05/2026 16:16

How is she bashing autistic people? Ridiculous comment. She’s bashing a woman who is being rude and turning up unnecessarily and without prior warning. 🙄🙄

Show quote history

Well if you read the full thread, ive explained, multiple times, where I am coming from

Maybe have a read through?

CatRestaurant · 03/05/2026 16:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

How is she bashing autistic people? Ridiculous comment. She’s bashing a woman who is being rude and turning up unnecessarily and without prior warning. 🙄🙄

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 16:15

thepariscrimefiles · 03/05/2026 16:10

Your post comes across as goady and an attempt to get people to pile onto the OP ....

Show quote history

I disagree, as i've said above, another thread piling on the disabled is not needed which was the point of my post.

thepariscrimefiles · 03/05/2026 16:10

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 14:20

This thread comes across as goady and an attempt to get people to pile onto your 'friend'

Yabu

Show quote history

Your post comes across as goady and an attempt to get people to pile onto the OP ....

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 16:00

crowfollower · 03/05/2026 15:53

HOW you could ever "get" that from this thread is beyond me. The OP is autistic.

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As explained previously, the goady threads often have an 'i am autistic' or 'i know someone autistic' chucked in there for good measure - its horrible to witness posters coming together to rant about their thinly veiled dislike for disabled people.

Still, again, I have responded directly to the op to wish them well - it is tough to know how to handle various circumstances sometimes

Tuesdayschild50 · 03/05/2026 15:59

Just tell your friend its easier they go to the station if she asks you in advance just say your parents are over or don't answer .
That generally says no in a nutshell.
I don't know anyone who would think this is ok.

WiddlinDiddlin · 03/05/2026 15:54

If you've told her pretty explicitly and she's still not hearing you I think you have to bite the bullet and ignore the buzzer sometimes - you must know when you're expecting a package so if you aren't expecting anything, ignore. Let her find out for herself what happens if she doesn't bother to call ahead/arrange in advance. Sometimes that is the only way people learn.

crowfollower · 03/05/2026 15:53

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 15:34

This not my first time on aibu, I will survive the thread disagreeing with me 🙄

I dont think its goady to be tired of threads intending to have a dig at disabled autistic people. Its awful to experience, and thats where I am coming from

I have responded to the op wishing her well though, not sure what you hope to gain by continuously quoting me

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HOW you could ever "get" that from this thread is beyond me. The OP is autistic.

ThatLemonBee · 03/05/2026 15:41

Mum to abutistic son here and I wouldn’t dream of dropping in someone’s living room to watch a train ! Come on !
just tell them you are busy

MrsVBS · 03/05/2026 15:41

YANBU, I absolutely hate people dropping in unannounced, nip it in the bud by telling her you don’t like it or don’t answer the door when she knocks, hopefully she’ll get the message.

PeloMom · 03/05/2026 15:40

You aren’t being unreasonable. Your compromise of couple of times a month is very generous. Out of curiosity, how often do they show up?

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 15:34

crowfollower · 03/05/2026 15:28

You were the only goady one, OP comes across as a kind, considerate, lovely person and you tried to make it out to be something it's not. You have a serious chip on your shoulder and the whole thread think so too.

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This not my first time on aibu, I will survive the thread disagreeing with me 🙄

I dont think its goady to be tired of threads intending to have a dig at disabled autistic people. Its awful to experience, and thats where I am coming from

I have responded to the op wishing her well though, not sure what you hope to gain by continuously quoting me

crowfollower · 03/05/2026 15:28

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 15:24

I think you should cop yourself on

I said the op came across as goady and having used aibu, it really isnt an inconceivable way of thinking

I dont really know what more you want out of me tbh, I've wished the op well and youre still quoting me - you have the problem

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You were the only goady one, OP comes across as a kind, considerate, lovely person and you tried to make it out to be something it's not. You have a serious chip on your shoulder and the whole thread think so too.

Letsgodancing · 03/05/2026 15:28

Going to reveal a secret here, Real time trains and Traksy are good websites to have an idea of where trains are, Traksy shows real time movements of trains so you can see what's on its way and when it will be passing. (Also handy to use as a passenger and see whats holding your train up 😂)
But you definitely need to have a kind word with your friend, she may genuinely not see what the issue is and may think she can keep her son happy and see a friend without realising the inconvenience it can cause to you.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 03/05/2026 15:25

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 15:24

From having used aibu and seen these god awful threads? Well yes, i called the thread out based on my own experiences

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‘Called out’ says it all

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 15:24

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 03/05/2026 15:20

You’re clearly projecting here

Show quote history

From having used aibu and seen these god awful threads? Well yes, i called the thread out based on my own experiences