Do you privately judge women who’ve had a high number of sexual partners?

I’m really curious as to the thought process about it being grim ? Do often have little judgy thoughts?

Lol, it sound like you are judging Andie McDowell for what her character did in a movie!

I think I’d judge someone who I felt was showing off about it, like they somehow thought it was adding to their personal value or something. I might be wary about going into a relationship with someone who had a history of only short term hookups if that’s not what I was after. But if I happened to find out via a non-boasting type method, then no worries, good for them, everyone is allowed their own lives.

No

No. I’ve met men who claim to have slept with over 100 women and say it very very proudly. I didn’t necessarily judge them, I just thought well, provided it was all consensual, safe and they had fun… I’d think the exact same thing about women.

I guess the only issue with doing this as a woman is the higher risk of pregnancy so it pays to have fewer partners for that reason. Yes contraception but it isn’t foolproof.

What’s your AIBU?

No, I don't care how many people anyone has slept with, regardless of gender.

That question would be a friendship ender for me.

I can't understand why anyone would think they had the right to ask. There are few greater intrusions in to one's privacy.

I’d judge if they were targeting married men but otherwise crack on and enjoy.

No I dont judge on their number male or female I don't think that is relevant to who they are as a person.

How they speak and behave around x partners however I have judged around.

I need a good editor. What I mean is that drawing inferences is inevitable, healthy, often true and often misleading. And that people who claim not to are usually just not accurately describing how they behave in real life.

How would i know?
I have been married 20 years
I slept with my fair share of men when young and single but its not somthing that ever comes up in conversation.

“Judge” as in consider morally inferior? No.

”Judge” as in make inferences about them? Yes.

The thing about inferences: we’re making them all the time about pretty much everything.

The other thing about inferences: they’re often right (see stereotype accuracy research).

The final thing: they’re often wrong too.

I think the above three statements are all true, and virtually everyone behaves as if all three of the above statements are true too, whatever they may say.

This!

My boyfriend when I was 20 had slept with 30+ so I wouldn't judge no. I don't really get it as sleeping around has no appeal to me, but I don't really care and they've probably got a few funny stories to tell.

How on earth would you know? The kind of person who goes about bragging about that - notches on the bedpost? - is likely to be a bit of an idiot anyway. So I'd judge them for being an idiot in general, not for their number of "partners".

I do judge the mum in Mama Mia though! She doesn't know who the father is and there are three possibles? Yes, I judge her, and the men, for not taking precautions!

In fairness & in my own experience lots of people are quite open about it! Two of my friends in particular always talk about their flings/ONS, everybody who knows them knows their number without asking because it is something they openly share.

In my old office there were a few men who would quite proudly on a Monday morning announce to everyone in the vicinity what they “bumped their number” up to over the weekend despite 99% of the people not even responding or joining that conversation, it was just like part of their Monday routine!

Yes I would.

As long as their activities are legal and not hurting anyone, it really isn't my business how other people choose to live their lives, so no, I don't judge.

If it was someone who I cared about, then I think I would want to check that they were ok, but if I was satisfied that they were actively choosing to lead that lifestyle and happy with their choices, then that would be the end of it.

No, because I wouldn't ask them in the 1st place.

Do actually ask people this question because I wouldn't have a clue how many people my friends have slept with? Unless your one of those judgy people who think its ok to ask your single friends about their love life when you wouldn't dream of asking your married friends.

Nope.

My 'body count' is quite high as when I got divorced I had a period of being wild and free and loved every moment. My boyfriend also has also slept with a lot of women - he was a dj in his 20s and had lots of one night stands. As long as tbeyre all consensual, both parties are happy and when you are in a relationship you are loyal to one another, someone's sexual past doesn't bother me.

First boyfriend 16-18
Uni years, a couple of short term boyfriends, a few flings/ONS (lets say 7 total)
LTR 22-27
Dating for a while, lets say 5 short relationships
Married 31-36, two kids, divorced
Enjoying single life, maybe another 5 dates/short term flings
40, new boyfriend for a couple of years
next decade - several relationships of 6-12 months

Now you're 52, kids have left home, maybe you've met husband number 2 - but still have 30-40 previous partners.
I wouldn't find that shocking at all.

Why do want to know? Have you slept with loads of people op?

How would I even know?

If they were telling me or talking loudly about how many people they’d slept with, I’d be more likely to judge that, than the actual number of people they’d slept with. Why would they need to share that information?