Do you privately judge women who’ve had a high number of sexual partners?

I suppose that if a woman had a high number of female sexual partners then, according to my logic, it would be an achievement.

I - briefly-fell out with a (heterosexual female) friend over this.
She was going on about how many men she'd 'had' like it was an achievement.
Apparently I was saying she was immoral by saying it wasn't.
I really, really wasn't - I was just saying that it wasn't an achievement.
Should have just said nothing but we'd had a few drinks.

I assume you mean judge negatively.

As long as these were not actions that broke up relationships then who am I to judge?
Having said that it would not suit me. I feel the need for some other connection with a man before sex would be on the cards. But each to their own as long as they do no harm.

No. Though people who are very interested are imo usually jealous of a life may be less lived. We are all young and lovely once. Enjoying that with other people is not terrible, or very surprising.

I agree with you re boasting: what if the woman was sleeping with women? Arguably that would be more of an 'achievement'.

 'Slut' is unfair though: it may not be hard for a woman to sleep with many men but ut doesn't make it bad. Anymore than a gay Ken sleeping with a lot of men is bad.

… you’d be surprised. I knew a sex worker who had OCD (a victim of CSA). You do what you have to do to survive. 🤷‍♀️ People who already have trauma are often good at separating sex from their personal lives, and when that’s trauma-based, no, it’s not good.

But who’s going to fix it? Most societies treat sex workers like they’re the criminals, instead of the actual criminals (either traffickers or the men/women paying - there’s NO excuse, like it’s some huge fucking surprise that a gorgeous 18-year-old Slavic girl ISN’T sleeping with you at an Aberdeen petrol station for £100 of her own volition, Alan 🙄 I fucking loathe men who act as if they’re stupid about it).

(Apologies as I know this thread isn’t about sex work. I worked in spiritual support for a while and met an absolutely incredible amount of sexually traumatized adults, many of them such lovely men and women that society had ignored when they were abused/trafficked/SAed/raped).

Also, this is just my take, but “splattered with body fluids” is something we say about a couch cushion or crime scene, not another human being. It’s not a cattle brand; everything from semen to shit to blood washes off and you are no more “dirty” than you were before.

Never asked as I don’t want to know.
Which implies it matters to me

It was never something I wanted to do, as I always wanted (and still want) to be in a committed relationship, but if others are ok with it, then up to them.

Regardless of sexuality.

No. Although also I probably wouldn’t know because I don’t go around talking to people about their (or my) sexual activity.

i someone was talking to me a lot about all their sexual partners I think I might be a bit worried they were potentially vulnerable if I’m honest

Nope - it's not really something to judge is it? Consensual sex when you are free to enjoy it is hardly shameful for anyone. Why would having sex with 20 people be "worse" than with 2 people? There is nothing "better" about abstaining.... I've never understood why for a man or a woman that it is BAD to have lots of sex. I 100% judge cheaters though.

I really never want to know about other people's sex lives, yuck. Why would i?

Pushing 40 and have also never talked about number of sexual partners with anyone. I have no idea how many my husband has had, for example. It’s just not a topic I find interesting (or think is any of my business).

I’ve certainly had conversations with people about specific sexual experiences, but that’s not quite the same thing.

Nothing to do with me. Genuinely do not care.

I agree.

But - thinking about this - I don't discuss my sexual experiences - I never have done at any age. Some people do,though and I don't know why.

When you're young, I guess it's a bit of a novelty and all rather exciting. But I really don't enjoy hearing about other people's sex lives and I cringe when women (can't comment on what men say when they're in groups, obvs) tell you when and how they've had sex. To me it's private and, perhaps, I'm a weirdo but I find anyone's sexual exploits but my own a real turn-off. If people regale me with this stuff I judge them in the following way: that they clearly are so self-regarding that they think giving you a mental image of them on the job will be a turn-on.....er, no. Very far from it.

I genuinely don’t know the number of sexual partners any woman in this world has had except for myself. Why would anyone care?

I don't think this kind of thing lasts as long in other peoples heads as the person who thinks they are being judged

Sleeping with people seems a hobby for some does anyone else really care?

I do think some people are desperate to be judged

Very weird. In my 51 years on this planet, I've never had a conversation with anyone about how many people they had given one. Not once.

SwarmJet · 03/05/2026 19:48
You seem to care about other people's sexual lives, given your comment. Bit ironic that you feel it necessary to make attacking comments on others sexuality! You just want others to feel the same shame and they don't!

This kind of comment baffles me on MN. (It wasn't directed to me, btw).

The OP asked for people's honest opinions - and let's face it, dishonest opinions aren't worth listening to - and some people come along to tell pps off for expressing them.

That's what it's all about, isn't it? We all give our opinions and no-one's is more valid than others. Accusing someone of 'seeming to care about other people's sexual lives' is silly in this context. We've been asked! I don't give a lot of thought, normally, to other people's sex lives, but OP's question made me do a bit of self-reflection.

Well, sex being invariably a Very Special Activity would give me the ick. I’d hear it in a sort of prayerful, vicar-ish ‘And now the penis enters the vagina, hallelujah!’ whisper.

Well, you imagine wrongly then!😂

That's hilarious though! The thought of a vicar whispering commentary, a la Davide Attenborough, during the act itself is very funny. What an image...

Isnt it a bit like the definition of an alcoholic, someone who drinks more than their GP?

Your quality of thinking is very low indeed. I won’t bother replying to you again. This is a discussion forum. You are majorly out of context in your judgements about me. If it reassures you, however, I don’t think about peoples sex lives, ever. I do quite like discussing what people think beyond surface level virtue signalling and polite shrugging though. As do most people on this thread that have dug up some thoughts to share. It doesnt mean they sit about thinking these thoughts regularly. Wake up.. this is an online thread, for ideas about an interesting topic.

Well, sex being invariably a Very Special Activity would give me the ick. I’d hear it in a sort of prayerful, vicar-ish ‘And now the penis enters the vagina, hallelujah!’ whisper.

I mean, sex can be special and romantic, absolutely. Sex can also be just scratching an itch. And everything in between, in different moods, with different people, at different life stages.

I mean, I still regularly see three friends I had sex with in the dim and distant past (I’ve been with DH for decades). One was touching, goofy teenage experimentation sex, another a good student friend with whom I had sex precisely once the night before I left to study in the US, leaving him heartbroken, though he didn’t tell me for ten years. One was the serious boyfriend I left for DH. It doesn’t feel any different to old friends I did any number of other hints either.

I think those two extreme views are a bit unrealistic! Most people would place sex somewhere between them.

Actually, this is a good point. If OP asks 'do you judge'? Well, being honest I think I'd gravitate more to women (and men) who share my view of sex, which is that it's a very special activity that only means anything to me within a romantic relationship. Sex on its own with a comparative stranger would leave me cold.

So thinking about it, my friends are like that too. Of course, I've met all kinds of people with different attitudes, but I suppose I'd find it hard to understand the very free, liberated, untrammelled, no strings attitude to sex which OP is talking about.

Each to their own, but just as I respect the right of women to have as many sexual partners as make them happy, I hope others would understand that sex has to be within a developed, romantic context for some people, and that's fine too.

I wouldn’t. You can have multiple partners in a year while young, have a long term relationship that ends (or a few), then some more more short term ones by 50. Seems perfectly normal to me.

Even if they were all short term I know loads of amazing people who were not lucky enough to find a compatible partner and did not want to settle for anybody to have somebody.

I would find a man who had 50 x <1 year relationships by 50 to be a walking red flag