This is bonkers mummy behaviour

Each to their own but I absolute wouldn’t entertain that sort of shit the OP described and neither would the majority of people on the thread!

this is NOT how gentle parenting is done! In gentle parenting there is guidance and firmness. This is permissive parenting - let them do what they want

Depends on the choice orange juice or gin

Pandering is not gentle parenting. I don’t think you have the remotest understanding of what gentle parenting actually is. It’s not this fucking soft parent where we ask
our children to “make the right choices”

I was a gentle parent and my (now almost adult) children will tell you that I had very firm
boundaries. My youngest is almost 18 and still asks if he can go out next Saturday 🙄.

So what happens when an older person (like me) has mobility issues? I have bad knees/ankles/feet occasionally and cannot always move fast out of badly parented children. Other people have to use walking aids/mobility scooters in narrow walkways. I see parents on their phones and children running around roads, paths, zebra crossings. Sheer madness on the parents' part.

All I can say is Look After Your Children, put the phone down, concentrate on the situations around you. Parent Your Child.

Exactly, at that age they need to have an adult taking control in what is essentially a no choice situation, when you are out of the pool you have to get dried and dressed. This can be done in a "gentle" way just as you say "we've had a lovely time in the water now we have to get changed so we can go and get a drink when we are done"

This or that one is fine for a choice for a toddler.
Would you like to get out of the bath or shall we take the buggy is not appropriate.

I have some sympathy for the mum- mine were sometimes little tinderboxes of emotional tiredness after a swim. I cycled through several approaches before realising that humour and distraction and countdowns worked well - such as getting them to come give me a cuddle and making them laugh before sweeping them up and into a cubicle of my choice, or saying they have five seconds to pick which one they want, or reminding them we need to get ready fast so we can go and find somewhere for a nice hot chocolate and getting them excited about the after. I have also been the snappy parent too, but trying to dress a melted down upset kid is not fun or quicker. Hopefully the parent finds their way soon. We are all learning as we go along.

Agree, also think some people who moan about parents today are the ones who raised those who are now this generation of parents…. Are they imitating their parents parenting or trying to parent so very differently to what they experienced.

My friend is like this. She can't bear for her child to be upset, ever. It's quite painful at times, like the regular half hour negotiation to get him in the pram to walk to the park (the park is a good 15-20 mins walk away at a brisk adult walking pace)

There was also the occasion she seemed annoyed when I wouldn't let him run around with a screwdriver. He was quite cross about it but somehow to me that seemed a preferable option to risking him falling over and skewering himself...

I just think some decisions are beyond small children as they aren't able to see the full picture - that's our job as adults.

I babysat one day and was left with a long list of suggested persuasion techniques to get him to put his shoes on - I just said, right Bob, time to put your shoes on and off we went 🤣**

** I do get that children are often more compliant with other people, my own are absolute masters of it 🤣

Not complex choices, but would you like this one or that one - if you don’t give them choices they never learn to make a decision. I work with so many people unable to make a decision for themselves. It’s infuriating.

That is not gentle parenting. Gentle parenting is not letting your child faff around. This is a wet wipe from pretending to be a parent.

Just what you can expect when you give children too many choices!

Gosh this reminds me of a woman who let her toddler out of their buggy to lie in the middle of the floor on the tube and then kept telling him "you need to move, you're in people's way, they need to get off/on the train" as though we would all here it and think he was the problem rather than her being the one inconveniencing everyone (and also putting her kid in a really unsafe situation sliding around the floor of a train!).

Think I met Joe and his mum on a 4hr plane ride, what a joyful experience that was.

Screens and wotsits are no bigger.
Drinking coke is depressing.

I was a complete helicopter parent. DS is 19 lives away doing a software engineering degree apprenticeship, very good he is at it too.

I bed Joe will turn out just fine because he has a mum that really loves, supports and encourages him even if her approach is annoying to listen to.

Agreed and also they need a choice when there reasonably is a choice they can make for their age. No small child needs to be choosing a cubicle or when they get changed after swimming, because it just needs doing and ideally asap. I think people think they're being kind but it's actually really stressful for children that their caregiver doesn't seem to know what they're doing and it looking to them to tell them what they're doing next every minute of the day.

Fuck that. I’m the grown up. I’m in charge. You can’t give a little kid all the power. No wonder they’re growing up so entitled.

I've seen worse like toddlers on screens, toddlers eating wotsits and drinking coke.

It is funny how everyone thinks their parenting is or was spot on though isn't it? And yet, guaranteed, someone will find fault with it.

Like everyone I’ve had epic failures and total embarrassment; but when mine were 2 and playing up they would get picked up and put down where they were supposed to be with no negotiation.

It’s a ridiculously massive leap and came across as rather sarcastic to suggest that Joe would be getting an ADHD diagnosis.

And you think that's this mum, based on one interaction with her toddler through the lens of someone posting on an internet forum.

The absolute epitome of judgemental pish.

Poor kid probably desperately wanted to be home but didn't know how to make it happen.