To hate remote wedding venues with no overnight accommodation at them

Agree. I went to one where either people didn’t drink so they could drive home, or people had to leave early to get a taxi

Does anyone else remember, ooh, probably 30 years ago, when the norm for destination weddings (which weren't called that then) was that only the bride and groom went? It was basically the couple alone who went abroad somewhere, had a ceremony on a beach and basically the honeymoon all combined. No other guests. If anything you had a party as the 'reception' back in the UK when you came home. Bride might wear her dress again for that.

Definitely a worsening for me that this has now become the 'destination wedding' as we know it, where people are asked to use money and leave that would represent their summer family holiday, to go to a place of someone else's choice and pay through the nose for it.

Agree. I'm so over weddings like this. If you don't have a car or you aren't confident driving on country roads at night it's a logistical pain in the backside. The amount of money and mental energy it takes up to get to these things is just too much. A member of my immediate family had a mid week, child free wedding in the middle of nowhere and I don't think they really appreciated how big of an ask it was.

This was the norm at almost all the weddings I went to 15/20 years ago.

Rural wedding, often at the bride or groom’s parents’ local church, followed by marquee or local barn. Transport provided between service and reception, or all in one place. Guests given a list of local taxi firms and local b&bs for pre & post wedding. No online booking back then either. It wasn’t a massive deal, you just rang up and booked both asap, ideally sharing cabs if possible.

Yes it could have been more convenient and did involve some expense and organising, but the weddings were always generous including plenty of food and drinks laid on, band/DJ etc which was perhaps only possible because they were being held “at home”.

Far prefer this to a destination wedding abroad or a weekday wedding requiring annual leave. And don’t get me started on the “dress colour code” nonsense that seems to exist now.

Agree it makes the end of the night a hassle! We attended a wedding last year at a gorgeous venue that was in the middle of nowhere, absolutely amazing and it did have I think 10 rooms on site but all reserved for family. The nearest hotels were 16 miles away in the nearest town so not a short journey, no bus put on, they did put a taxi number on the invites and recommended pre-booking because the taxi company only has a few cars (small town firm). I was pregnant so I just took our car but at the end of the night it was absolute chaos because only 2 taxi’s turned up for about 90 guests who all needed to get back to hotels in this town, the drivers did agree to come back and do a few trips but it was a 30 min drive to the town then back so an hour, the venue kicked everyone out at bang on midnight so lots of guests were sat outside waiting for hours.

Agree. A lot of my decisions made about my wedding were whether it would be good or not for my guests. I am a bit of a people pleaser but I knew I wouldn’t enjoy my day if I felt like my guests secretly thought the day had been a bit of a chore.

Has anyone told her just how inconvenient and expensive it is for the guests?

Why don't people just refuse to go? It is selfish and inconsiderate, so I'd be making my excuses.

Yes, DD is doing this and it’s a wonderful venue. Good value hotels in town 2 miles away and coaches being provided. No dc but hardly anyone has them and those that do want to escape for a night or two! It’s really about money and whether you value the effort being put in and the event. It’s just blessing, food and a cocktail hour and party til the early hours. All is way less cost to guests than going abroad as many brides do. Most are coming so 160 day and 30 more in the evening - it will be a great party! People are free not to come, and most are coming from London, but it’s a spectacular setting and DD and her fiance seem popular.

£15 for breakfast isn’t bad. I cannot believe people cannot drive in the country! What a load of wimps! Luckily our venue has a wide avenue as its approach so maybe that encourages people to go? Or maybe it’s just going to be a great wedding with no gimmicks! Just a grade 1 venue in a spectacular setting. What’s not to like?

My cousin is having one of these weddings, complete with co-ordinated prescribed colour scheme for bridal and groom party. Also it's a 3pm wedding so "she only has to feed everyone once". Said venue does not have onsite catering so you have to book your own caterers so she's having a burger van. She also having a child and baby free wedding (fair enough) but many of her invited guests have children under 5 (both sets of siblings and cousins, plus 3 bridesmaids and 2 of the groomsmen all have young children), most of the couples invited friends are either currently pregnant and due to give birth offer the summer or have had babies this year- wedding is in October.

The venue is right in the middle of no-where, not near anyone's house. The nearest person lives 2 hours away. The nearest village has 15 houses in it and the nearest place with any BnB or overnight accommodation is a 35 minute drive down 1 track country lanes away. The nearest hotel is 50 minutes away again down country roads until you get to the main road. The venue has put some little 1 bed cabins on site for £250 a night and breakfast is an added extra of £15.95 per person.

She is baffled as to why so many people have declined an invitation to her wedding. It would be a 6 hour round trip for us to go, plus it's child free and I have a young baby so we are not going. My aunty is planning on stopping in her motorhome. Most of the other guests who are planning on going have all said they will go but will be leaving around 7 o clock due to long drives home or in order to navigate the country roads (mainly the older drivers).

She would have been far better off using a pretty much identical venue (in terms of what she wants - man made water fall in the grounds, gardens, insta worthy drive) that is 30 mins from her house and is a 10 minute drive from a large town which has Travelodge, premier inn, multiple bnbs and the venue also has onsite rooms. Her reason is she doesn't want to get married close to her house, fair enough but at the moment she's booked a wedding for 80 guests and only has 20 coming and 2 of those might not come as their baby is due the week after the wedding.

Our wedding anniversary today, 29 years. Or wedding was at local registry office, and then a coach to take guests from our house to venue.

I’ll be declining a relative’s wedding invitation as the nearest accommodation is “onsite” and will cost £300 per night. We’ll need two nights due to the distance and 2 days off work too. Not really close enough to warrant spending £1000 for someone’s wedding by the time we’ve added present and petrol.

If they want to prioritise their dream wedding over their guests inconvenience then that's their choice. It's my choice to disrespect them for doing so.

This is the only kind of wedding I go to now.

I'm so over sitting with other people's aunts talking about how much energy the page boy has.

Yeah, God knows why people do this. But I’m old school and like a ‘ceremony/reception/done’ setup without an evening do, which no doubt will upset people who won’t want to travel just for that maybe.

I would only go to an event like that for my child, my stepchildren or at a push a sibling.

It’s incredibly thoughtless if the ‘happy’ couple

Totally agree and I would add birthday parties to this. Just have your event somewhere accessible! I don’t go if it’s not possible to travel by public transport / stay over easily.

We're invited to a wedding end of this month.
Midmorning at the registry office, followed by drinks and lunch somewhere nice. Perfect. 👌

Yep, DH's friends wedding is at a lake with very pretty views. Only on site accommodation is fully booked by the wedding party (and starts at £450/night uncatered with minimum 2 night stay).

It's in the arse end of beyond with zero taxis willing to come to the area, no campsites or B&Bs within 15 miles and no public transport.

We're not going I'm afraid!

We have a wedding like this next year but at least the happy couple have booked out a hotel and laid on buses to take us there.

My cousins have form for having weddings at quirky remote places in the back of beyond, hundreds of mikes from most peoples homes (sometimes including their own) no public transport links . I’m afraid I send my apologies and don’t attend

I have one this year. Rural hotel about 30m from a town I don’t know and about 3 hrs from where the couple and most family live. Wedding is Saturday midday.
So if we stay only the Saturday it’s a 3 hr drive all dressed up and then park car at hotel in town and find a taxi to venue. Or not have a drink all day. Plus leaving really early in either case to allow for traffic.
So we have to stay two nights to be there on the Saturday. And pack all wedding gear and get ready at hotel.
Weddings are exhausting. If I have a drink in the day I really want a room to escape to for a power nap before the long evening. But all the hotel rooms are occupied by close family (plus are £250/night).

I agree. It is rather narcissistic to prioritise a venue over the guests. A wedding should be about getting married, not about Instagram photos.

It is perfectly possible to find a lovely venue that is convenient for the guests.