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To hate remote wedding venues with no overnight accommodation at them

181 replies

CurdinHenry · 03/05/2026 06:54

Unless the wedding party provide a coach then it's fine

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/05/2026 10:03

Jupitercore · 03/05/2026 18:16

It's very rude not to consider your guests comfort. When we got married it was based in a city for ease of hotels ect, and we chose a bank holiday weekend, so people had an extra day to get themselves home and sorted for work. We put our guests first tbh, because there's no celebration without family and friends, and that was more important than the location tbh. So personally I wouldn't go to a remote wedding with no accommodation there.

But nobody is forced to attend.

Hamela · 04/05/2026 10:00

SingedSoul · 04/05/2026 09:49

You're really are a star in your own movie. I'm guessing the sequel will be even more disappointing 😘

Oh there won't be a sequel, I'll be dead, silly.

It never ceased to amaze me that posters come on to clearly marked threads (read the title of this thread 😂,)about a definite topic (moaning about weddings) and then attack people at random for... Moaning about weddings 😂😂

Thank you for your kind public service though (reminding me that the internet isn't real and I've wasted enough of my bank holiday talking to people with the deductive skills of a cardboard cut out). Enjoy your bank holiday!

SingedSoul · 04/05/2026 09:49

Hamela · 04/05/2026 09:31

@SingedSoul Interestingly, you're dead right. I was indeed badly raised, to be selfish and crass.

But I realised all this, as soon as I was free of that influence and alone in my late teens. Worked on it, I did 😂 ...but importantly, never enough to fully lose the healthy observation skills and mild cynicism that is important to protect us from feeling like we've just paid £750 for a basic hotel room as a captive audience with no choice, kindly used up holiday days, abandoned kids because they aren't welcome, got a new outfit for the obscure "theme", and trekked across dire empty countryside in million-pound taxis to attend someone else's dream.

I love my friends and I do it. But I can voice my stressors, on a public forum.

And I clearly recognise a wedding where hours of boring discomfort are not mitigated by the hosts merely chucking a cheap sweetie stall or a cardboard cut out Instagram booth at the guests, to try and hide that they skimped on making their so called loved ones feel comfortable, whilst choosing weird obscure impossible locations or spending £££ on other less important parts of the do. A do that realistically costs each guest significant time and money to attend.

That's what is crass, not my observations on what is currently provided at 85%+ of all weddings over the past decade. Did your cardboard cutout booth not go down well at your do..? 😘

You're really are a star in your own movie. I'm guessing the sequel will be even more disappointing 😘

Hamela · 04/05/2026 09:31

@SingedSoul Interestingly, you're dead right. I was indeed badly raised, to be selfish and crass.

But I realised all this, as soon as I was free of that influence and alone in my late teens. Worked on it, I did 😂 ...but importantly, never enough to fully lose the healthy observation skills and mild cynicism that is important to protect us from feeling like we've just paid £750 for a basic hotel room as a captive audience with no choice, kindly used up holiday days, abandoned kids because they aren't welcome, got a new outfit for the obscure "theme", and trekked across dire empty countryside in million-pound taxis to attend someone else's dream.

I love my friends and I do it. But I can voice my stressors, on a public forum.

And I clearly recognise a wedding where hours of boring discomfort are not mitigated by the hosts merely chucking a cheap sweetie stall or a cardboard cut out Instagram booth at the guests, to try and hide that they skimped on making their so called loved ones feel comfortable, whilst choosing weird obscure impossible locations or spending £££ on other less important parts of the do. A do that realistically costs each guest significant time and money to attend.

That's what is crass, not my observations on what is currently provided at 85%+ of all weddings over the past decade. Did your cardboard cutout booth not go down well at your do..? 😘

RampantIvy · 04/05/2026 09:22

My DMIL has since said it upset her, not seeing us get married, oh dear-what a shame!

On the other side of the coin - as the parent of an adult DD, I would be sad not to see her get married. What a shame!

VickyEadieofThigh · 04/05/2026 09:17

"Just get an air bnb"...

Yep, booked one for my partner's nephew's wedding at the other end of the country from us, so booked it for 3 nights. A fortnight before the date - and it was 2 days after my mother died - got an email cancelling it (I assumed the owner got a longer booking, so binned us off).

Cue much frantic Internet activity to find something else - which turned out to be the only vacancy within 30 miles of the venue, at a hotel costing twice as much as the original place.

SingedSoul · 04/05/2026 08:48

Hamela · 03/05/2026 07:06

...but don't you know, it's all about "their dream wedding"... 🫪 It's selfish and crass to put every single thing above the comfort of guests, but badly raised people don't consider this.

They cover it up with one free glass of pish prosecco each and a fucking photo booth full of cardboard props. While obligingly smiling grandma slowly wilts in the corner on a rock hard conference room type chair with a ribbon on it, eating her chunk of melon and sliver of salmon, after hour 75 of the "photo shoot" involving only 14% of the guests. And the credit card debt continues to rack. FUN

(Pessimistic, judgemental, yes, but I'm finished with the cookie cutter weddings and their money wishing wells and it's such a relief)

You shouldn't have gone to any of them if you are going to be snide about their choices. Hardly a joy to be around. You sound very "badly raised," & "selfish & crass".

Mama2many73 · 04/05/2026 08:33

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 03/05/2026 10:33

Yes, DD is doing this and it’s a wonderful venue. Good value hotels in town 2 miles away and coaches being provided. No dc but hardly anyone has them and those that do want to escape for a night or two! It’s really about money and whether you value the effort being put in and the event. It’s just blessing, food and a cocktail hour and party til the early hours. All is way less cost to guests than going abroad as many brides do. Most are coming so 160 day and 30 more in the evening - it will be a great party! People are free not to come, and most are coming from London, but it’s a spectacular setting and DD and her fiance seem popular.

£15 for breakfast isn’t bad. I cannot believe people cannot drive in the country! What a load of wimps! Luckily our venue has a wide avenue as its approach so maybe that encourages people to go? Or maybe it’s just going to be a great wedding with no gimmicks! Just a grade 1 venue in a spectacular setting. What’s not to like?

I dont mind driving country roads at night but when I've taken away off work, paying for a hotel room etc I would like to have a drink or 2 but I won't drive even if I've had 1 so it means either one of us doesn't drink or we have to pay for a taxi, which as pp have said can cause an issue when at 'back of beyond ' venues.

Brokeandold · 04/05/2026 08:17

We got married abroad, in the local mayors office. We were going on holiday and thought let’s see if we can get married whilst there. The holiday company, small local one were great, they looked into it, guided us, all straight forward-this was 30 odd years ago
We didnt tell our parents, my sister knew, she helped me choose a dress/shoes to take. I’m the youngest of 6 so my DF had already spent a tonne of money on 2 weddings for 2 of my Sisters.
I couldnt bear the fuss/attention of a traditional wedding so I was very happy
My DMIL has since said it upset her,not seeing us get married, oh dear-what a shame!

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/05/2026 01:02

Here’s an idea. If you receive a wedding that doesn’t work for you (child free/distance/only being invited to the evening do etc) turn it down.

Then you don’t have to worry about going and the B&G can make sure that everyone who is there wants to be there.

LongDarkTeatime · 03/05/2026 23:42

RampantIvy · 03/05/2026 23:31

Could the people forcing you to go pay for some of the travel?

Nope. It’s a responsibility.
Thanks for your curiosity and effort to help but let’s not derail this thread further.

RampantIvy · 03/05/2026 23:31

LongDarkTeatime · 03/05/2026 23:29

Yes, we do have to go for multiple reasons.

Could the people forcing you to go pay for some of the travel?

LongDarkTeatime · 03/05/2026 23:29

RampantIvy · 03/05/2026 23:19

You don't have to go.
No-one guilt trips me into spending money I can ill afford.
Why do you have to go?

Don't buy a gift and don't buy an expensive new outfit if you are forced to attend.

Yes, we do have to go for multiple reasons.

RampantIvy · 03/05/2026 23:19

LongDarkTeatime · 03/05/2026 23:14

We’ve got our first destination wedding, have to go, and dreading the cost.

You don't have to go.
No-one guilt trips me into spending money I can ill afford.
Why do you have to go?

Don't buy a gift and don't buy an expensive new outfit if you are forced to attend.

CoastalCalm · 03/05/2026 23:18

We had two coaches one back to my hometown and one to DH’s but there were a lot of guests who stayed over as there was accommodation available

LongDarkTeatime · 03/05/2026 23:14

We’ve got our first destination wedding, have to go, and dreading the cost.

Allergictoironing · 03/05/2026 23:10

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 03/05/2026 23:01

@magicstar1 It’s not wrong at all! It’s the norm now. Would you pay for flights? What about £200 a night? That could be £20,000! Just doesn’t happen. There might be nothing else cheaper. My DD has attended 35 ish weddings and paid for herself at every one! There’s either a list provided by the venue or Airbnbs.

Just because some people think it's the "norm" now doesn't mean it's right!

To have the expectation that attending your wedding is the most important thing in other people's lives is arrogant and selfish, and in the current economic situation very thoughtless. For many people even the cost of an AirB&B means they need to go into debt without high travel costs, then add in the expectation that you'll buy something new to wear possibly just to fit into a theme, and buy an expensive gift for the couple...

Allergictoironing · 03/05/2026 23:04

IrisDaisyMarigoldLillyRose · 03/05/2026 20:35

Oh my god you’re all so grumpy! I love a good wedding. Just get an airb&b old r don't go!

Just get an airb&b

That's assuming there's enough Air B&Bs within a reasonable radius, say less than £50 each way for the taxi fare - again assuming there's enough local taxis for all the guests!

I worked out that the last long distance wedding I went to before my health got too bad cost me close on £1k with the travel costs, buying something to wear (I was MoH, but no help financially from the bride there), staying in the rather expensive venue, staying one night on the way there at a travel lodge as she "needed" me there by lunchtime the day before (live in the SE, wedding mid Scotland). Dunno about the rest of you, but that was my holiday and spending money for the year gone in 3 days. And that wasn't in a really out of the way destination.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 03/05/2026 23:01

@magicstar1 It’s not wrong at all! It’s the norm now. Would you pay for flights? What about £200 a night? That could be £20,000! Just doesn’t happen. There might be nothing else cheaper. My DD has attended 35 ish weddings and paid for herself at every one! There’s either a list provided by the venue or Airbnbs.

magicstar1 · 03/05/2026 22:42

I agree. We had our wedding an hour from our home in a venue with accommodation consisting of 3 bedrooms only. What we did was book out the local hotel and every b&b in the area. We paid for anyone elderly / in the wedding party etc. It’s wrong to expect people to have to pay a lot to attend a wedding.

ForPearlViper · 03/05/2026 22:37

My Mum's elderly neighbour ended up in a freezing yurt miles from anywhere the night before her granddaughter's wedding. It wasn't summer. Thankfully her son (not the father) decided they would leave after the wedding without spending another night with the rest of the party.

snoopyfanaccountant · 03/05/2026 22:20

DD is getting married this summer in the church that she and her fiance attend every week and in which they are very involved. They don't want anything extravagant so they have booked a reception venue which is a bit out of the way (they have hired the hall and booked a caterer rather than using a traditional wedding venue). As an extended family we have booked hotel rooms near the church and will drive to the reception venue leaving one car at the hotel so that the other cars can be picked up the next morning. We will then leave the cars at the reception venue and book a minibus taxi back to the hotel.

Superfoodie123 · 03/05/2026 22:07

Went to one like this last year. Had to take annual leave and leave my family just to go as its an old friend. As beautiful as it was I hated every second as I was just thinking about my flight to get home very early the next day. Didn't want to drink loads and be hungover. Spent the whole journey home really annoyed about all the money id spent

Createausername1970 · 03/05/2026 21:52

KirstieKaren · 03/05/2026 20:36

Yes we (me DH and our DDs 3 and 1) were recently invited to a wedding so remote we’d have to camp (no, we can’t squeeze you in, but plenty of room for tents!) for several days due to transport links. No option to drive.
we declined as it was just impossible but I’ve been guilt tripped about it since (I’m so disappointed, I guess our friendship doesn’t mean that much after all, etc.)
ive stepped wayyyy back from that friendship 😅

Edited

I would be tempted to respond "and I guess that I overestimated what my friendship meant to you if you are expecting me to sleep in a tent!"

Summerunlover · 03/05/2026 21:39

We had to pay £40 for a ten minute taxi Journey at 8pm because it was in the middle of nowhere. Still not over it. I also fed up of going to weddings where they don’t feed you for hours and all you get is a dried bit of chicken.

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