To hate remote wedding venues with no overnight accommodation at them

I love a wedding and delighted to be invited by people I care for. I can make it work at the chosen venue.

indont get all the whinging on here, it’s so mean spirited.

Years ago everything was local. So the church or registry office you normally went to and reception afterwards in various hotels nearby . It's nice that you now have the option of different venues for the ceremony . But receptions that are difficult to get to or uncomfortable are not great .

Friend went to wedding where the ceremony was in local church but the reception was almost two hours away . So most people obviously had to stay . It was a beautiful place with the price to match . Such a long day for everyone especially older relatives .

Recently helping in planning a wedding in the family . Couple have been together years , really wanted low key and most of all convienant . All within the area of where the majority of guests live . So low transport costs for guests and on a Saturday so no taking annual leave . Perfect . Majority can go home when they want to .

A wedding is your special day . But if you want to share it with others then you should take them into consideration. Your Insta moment is not really appreciated by most people . Food , drink , music is what makes a wedding people will remember.

Jeez. I bet that made you pee.
Talking of peeing, I did go to a wedding 25 miles away where the couple had very thoughtfully put on a coach for the guests, however, there was no loo on it.

It was a nice wedding but all I really remember is everybody being desperate to pee after drinking!

I was the last stop, too. Lol.

We kind of HAD to go to the wedding DH was asked to be best man for … I mean, I’m good at saying no to things, but even I couldn’t work out a nice way to say no to that!

I was once served cucumber slices and cucumber flavoured ice as my starter, my main was then a boiled slice of cauliflower.

Probably been said already, but a remote location and under catering is an appalling combination.
I went to one once down where the venue was down the side of a cliff, there was no mobile signal and no phone line. You had to walk up to the top in the rain and call a cab and wait for it outside. Pissing down it was.
And it wasn't a hotel, so all the guests were having to get transport.

We got married in the city we lived in, some people had to travel so we booked and paid for their hotels.

A friend got married a couple of years ago in rural Wales, the nearest b&b had six rooms and was a 30 minute drive away, the nearest alternative was about 45 minutes. For us it was a 5-6 hour drive each way once we had landed in the UK, they moaned as they made the effort to come to our wedding, a wedding where they had go three stops on the tube from their house!

OK perhaps child is a bad example: replace it with first cousin. Or nephew or niece.

I always find the more expensive and grand the wedding, the quicker the divorce.

But we are talking about not attending inconvenient weddings - surely for your child’s wedding, you wouldn’t have any resentment about the venue and enjoy attending?

In any case, assuming you have done a good job of raising your child, I’m sure they would be considerate of your needs in planning their wedding anyway

Depends on 'who' s' doing the inviting.

If it's a not too close family member, a not close friend, acquaintance or work colleague then yeah, fair enough, it's an invite.

If it's a reasonably close family member, close friend then it IS very much a summons.

Tell you what, anybody disagreeing with me here try saying you're not going to attend your children's wedding (s) if you're invited then you can tell me whether it's an invite or not.

Half-joking but I hope you get the point.

My nephew’s wedding was in a remote location with no accommodation so they booked a minibus to shuttle guests from and to the nearest major town. Why don’t other couples do this? Surely it is common sense?

I'm sorry but I totally disagree.

The most amazing wedding I attended was in a hotel a two hour train ride away, I don’t drive (I don’t drink either). It had the added bonus of being able to sneak up to the room every now and again if I was overwhelmed.

I missed a wedding reception as we checked into a hotel about 15 mins drive from the remote venue, in the expectation of being able to Uber there. No Ubers. No taxis, no public transport. I had already had a drink while waiting for the non existent Uber so couldn’t drive.
Everyone else I knew were already having been at the full day and they had no phone signal in said remote location so I could ask for any assistance.
Bloody nightmare and no warning on the invitation.

It’s a wedding not a summons!

Oh please this is really naive. For the sake of family relations, there ARE very much weddings people have to attend.

I'm not going to argue this further other than to say that half the time it would be easier if the couple bloody eloped or did it quietly down the register office with a few 'neutral' people like work colleagues. As witnesses just so that no family member in particular feels left out-or at least no more than any other family member/friends.

No actually there aren’t. You have no obligation to attend any wedding. If it doesn’t work for you then don’t attend. It really is that simple.

I totally agree but drinking or not, unless you've got a private plane, if the venue is a long way away you might be facing an overnight drive. In this case, even if you're completely sober it's still a pain in the ass.

I'm at the point now where unless the wedding is within 20 miles of my house it's more hassle than its worth.

Yeah madness isn't it to consider your guests in planning - it's so unusual tbh i do wonder what goes through people's heads

We had a city centre venue, laid on taxis between the register office and the reception.

15 minute walk to the mainline station, a hundred hotels within a mile, of varying budgets. Any guests with children, their children were invited (there weren't many, which I appreciate makes it easier).

Me and DH had been to so many country venues we were sick to death of the travel and expense (we didn't drive then) so we weren't going to do that to our guests.

@QuintadosMalvadoswhat weddings are you obliged to attend? All are optional! Family can say no if they cannot manage the logistics. We also don’t invite people we don’t want to come! No one has to go!

I've no idea why anyone would want to stay over at a wedding venue unless they want to drink which is completely uneccessary. I'm in the car and off home. There's no way I'd stay over.

There's some weddings people are obliged to attend. You know this, I know this and so does everybody else.

It's really difficult to refuse an invite to a family wedding but I've done it once.
A cousin got married the other side of the UK.
It involved going away for two nights and a lot of hassle and expense.

We did it as the couple met in the area through work and lived in it so fair enough.

The couple divorce. The 'bride' moves home very near to us (and the rest of her family) and meets a local guy-whose family also live near us.

Crucially, there is no longer ANY real perceptible link to the area the bride and groom to the original wedding city. None whatsoever. Everybody would have been less inconvenienced had they married closer to home.

Nevertheless, for some reason, the wedding is held in the same town as the first.

Not only did I think this was a bit strange (though never said so) but it was a firm, immediate refusal.

Sorry, love, I know it's your wedding and you can do what you like but equally I think that you're taking the piss and I can politely refuse your kind invite.

@Mama2many73Why do you need a day off work? I can see you might if it’s hours away but most can get to weddings a couple of hours away or travel after work. I think people will sort things out if they want to go. Some people won’t want to bother, so they don’t go. I do think coaches work but if people want to go early, that’s down to them. However many events are not handy to where you might be staying. It’s just life!