To hate remote wedding venues with no overnight accommodation at them

@Sw1989 Well I’d swerve that one! At least the op would get somewhere to sleep on site! Happy days.

It was quite a DIY wedding on a farm/ glamping site, they had hired the venue and not much else, catering was sorted but they were setting up all the props and other stuff themselves (well, a lot of their guests and family members were) 🤣

@Sw1989 Setting it up? Who on earth does that? How can you set it up? Did they not have contractors? Our venue is where we are from !

Somerset is lovely mind

This! A friend of my wife's had their wedding in the depths of Somerset, despite neither her or her husband being from the area. All of their friends and family were from London, Ireland and the northwest. Impossible to get to on any public transport and a 6 hour drive away for us. We also got roped into setting up and had several trips out to the nearest town (about 20 miles away) to pick up forgotten items. We ended up sucking it up and paying over the odds for a room at the venue and resolved when we planned our own wedding, to make sure it was in a convenient location that was easy for everyone to get to!

@QuintadosMalvados It’s lifestyle! They are not stay at home people. They socialise, eat out and mostly live in London. They mostly have high paying jobs or rich families. A day and a night out isn’t a huge issue. If they don’t like it they won’t come but I think DD is popular and it’s a spectacular venue for a party so most will come. Anyway hand printed invites are out and QR code taking the menu, cocktail and wine preferences! Plus the bus requests and the gift register.

DD looked at London venues but size is difficult to accommodate and this venue is just wonderful. It’s grade 1 listed and has just completed a major renovation of the rooms we are having. It’s not that remote!

Rural weddings with no transport or accommodation are an absolute pain.

We got married in London and people kept telling us how relaxing it was! It also meant we could have colleagues and cousins +1s etc as evening-only without feeling guilty as it was a tube journey. And they weren’t hanging around in Little Shroplington on the Weald or whatever waiting until 6pm.

I’ve seen rural weddings done really well by considerate friends who put on a bus to pick up and drop off at two hotels in the nearby town (one of which was a Premier Inn). You obviously didn’t have to stay at those two, but they let guests know on the invite that there would be a transport option from them.

I also know of a friend attending a wedding where the venue was in an actual ski restaurant most of the way up a mountain in the alps. There was a bubble lift up (so romantic!) but this would cease at 6pm. The only other way down was a windy road to be navigated by a cab (from the only cab company in the area, 30 miles away in a town with about 2 cars on it’s books). The bride’s uncle intervened and paid for a coach ‘as a wedding present’

This is really unkind. Not the decision to have a quiet abroad wedding, just the two of you (in the final analysis it’s your day), but to mockingly dismiss your MIL’s sadness. It’s a legitimate feeling to be disappointed and hurt to miss such a big moment in your son’s life. Again not to say you shouldn’t have done it, but I would have taken the time to explain to her, emphasis with her feelings and look for another way to involve her (did she want to host a party for your 1st anniversary say?)

You have no idea what they're thinking.
What's their jobs got to do with it?
It's still a pain in the ass to be away from home, regardless of job, unless you're a frequent flyer.

I attended a wedding recently where the parents of the bride were Oxbridge-educated professionals. I say this not to boast, but to refute what I perceive to be your claim that only the poor and stupid dislike weddings.

Believe me the mother-of-the-bride was not particularly happy about travelling 500 miles for the wedding.

Look I appreciate that best efforts have been made and that's laudable, however, as you're not a mind reader your claim that they all really, really want to attend is simply untrue.

I had one once that was 45 miles from home, a four day affair and there was 0 phone signal or WiFi. It was okay for the actual wedding day, but either side of that it was really grating (not least because it was the champions league final on the day of the wedding 😒). It was okay for me, as I was in my early 20s and just drank for four days. But for the other guests I can imagine how annoyed you’d be!

It always amazes me just how many friends mumsnetters and mumsnetters' DC have. DD is sociable and has friends but wouldn't know 190 people to invite to a wedding, and neither would I. We also have a small family.

He was certainly being a good Tory by doing this by boosting businesses.

No judgement on that, just a fact.
It has made it a pain in the ass for the actual guests though and in a way lessened the meaning of marriage, too.

I'd have left it as it was. Church or register office. That's your choice.

No wonder nobody takes marriage seriously anymore, it's too flipping personalised.

People really need some reminder to see it as a solemn commitment or a legal formality.
I'm an atheist so the former doesn't apply to me.

@QuintadosMalvados As they are overwhelmingly DDs friends and her fiancés, I think we do know! They are totally up for it. DD has been to loads of weddings so they are coming in return. I’m sure a few cannot make it but most will. If they don’t like it, they are free to get a taxi and go. Most have very good jobs and one night away from home is hardly an issue!

You can't be 100% sure that those still attending actually want to attend though so I wouldn't be too smug about it.
Inwardly they may be seeing it as a chore.

As for the misery comment, I don't think that it's necessarily miserable not to not want to attend weddings.
Also, I do find weddings actually work best with people of all personality types.

I understand how licencing works even if my wording was clumsy.

Given how hospitality is suffering right now, don’t you think it should be the responsibility of guests?

@LlynTegid Quite honestly that’s ludicrous. There might not be coaches locally! What accommodation? Who would provide it? A new hotel in protected countryside or make a few peasants hand over their homes? People have choices about venues. If people are not interested, the bride and groom tend to know, and should not invite you. Or you decline the invitation. As for cutting out venues in, say Scotland or remote Wales!!! How ludicrous. Your dislike might be wonderful to other local people.

No, a requirement for the venue to provide transport or that there is accommodation if you are in a rural area. You licence the venue not the guest list.

Agreed. My brother and his 1st wife hired a small castle for their wedding which was 45 mins drive from their town. So they put on a coach from the local town for the evening guests. Otherwise they’d have really struggled to get home, or had to pay for accomodation.

Ooh i love a destination wedding

I find weddings pretty tedious so if the bride and groom make it difficult to attend then you can be sure as shit I'll not be going. So if its in the middle of nowhere, requires a multiple night stay, hours of travel (exception made if they're getting married where they live), is on a weekday, has some stupid dress code then its an easy decline.

Exactly 🤣

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta Most consider parents as they want parents to help pay!

So what would you suggest? Licence granted only if every single guest lives within an arbitrary mile radius?

I am and was at the time a supporter of the law Gyles Brandreth got passed in his time as an MP that allowed places other than churches and registry offices to be wedding venues. Indeed I think it is one of the few good things any Tory MP has ever done.

I wonder however if some places should not be licensed, if they are so remote and without local accommodation for those travelling a distance.

😁