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AIBU?

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AIBU to be furious that DH keeps adding chilli to my meals?

77 replies

FlappyJax · 02/05/2026 21:50

Been with DH 14+ years. Hes got a habit of putting chilli in food - often to the point where he can’t even eat it himself. I’ve told him time and time again NOT to put chilli in my food as I don’t like it. But he does it anyway. It came to a head around 6 months ago when he made some burgers and put chilli in them meaning it was a complete waste of a meal. I couldn’t eat it and he only ate half. I was fuming and he knew it … he’s not done it since.

Until tonight - he said he was making us jacket potatoes. He spent around 2 hours on this chopping, grating etc etc … it smelt lovely and despite the fact that it was getting on for 9pm I chose not to eat anything beforehand as I didn’t want to spoil the meal he was taking so long to make.

First bite in, mouth on fire. I said “you’ve put chilli in this havnt you?”. He said “only a little bit, it is a bit overwhelming isn’t it? I didn’t think I’d put that much in”. Absolutely livid, took my plate to the kitchen and told him I didn’t want it, whole plate of food wasted.

Why?? Why does he do it?? He couldn’t even eat it himself. Turned out he’d put a whole scotch bonnet in it! Why would you put scotch bonnet in someone’s food that doesn’t like chilli?

He then sat there looking all sad and embarrassed. Offered to make me something else so I don’t think it’s malicious but why in gods name do it??

OP posts:
WaneyEdge · 02/05/2026 21:53

No idea 🤷‍♀️. Had a colleague years ago who’d do this. He’d make something like a shepherds pie or lasagne and put sliced chillies on top. At least you could pick them off but he added it to everything, not foods that are supposed to be hot/spicy.

TomatoSandwiches · 02/05/2026 21:52

You again? Why haven't you left him yet?

The conclusion last time was that whatever the reason for adding chilli to your food, the result was his actions being abusive, which I agree with.

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