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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have wanted it to be a child free evening?

204 replies

Flowers876 · 02/05/2026 20:47

Ive planned an evening cinema trip with the work girls. In the group chat one of them asked if she could bring her daughter (7 year old) I didnt know how to say I would rather she didn't but I was surprised she even asked tbh. Now it turns out another girl is bringing her 9 year old. I just wanted a grown up girls evening. I know I had the opportunity to say no but how would I have phrased it without sounding rude and offending her? How would you have said it? I'm not looking forward to it as much now as I dont know either child. I know I can be a people pleaser.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flowers876 · 02/05/2026 20:53

sprigatito · 02/05/2026 20:49

If more than one of the other attendees doesn’t want it to be a child-free event, then I guess you’re outvoted 🤷🏻‍♀️

You could have been explicit at the outset and those people could have chosen not to come - but you weren’t, so it is what it is.

I wasnt expecting anyone to bring their kids as we've never included kids in any of our meet ups so it wouldnt have occurred to me to say "shall we go to the cinema just us and not take the kids"

OP posts:
CrescentMoonLanding · 02/05/2026 20:52

jetlag92 · 02/05/2026 20:51

There is no such thing as a people pleaser, just say no if you're not keen.

OP is asking how to do that.

jetlag92 · 02/05/2026 20:51

There is no such thing as a people pleaser, just say no if you're not keen.

sprigatito · 02/05/2026 20:49

If more than one of the other attendees doesn’t want it to be a child-free event, then I guess you’re outvoted 🤷🏻‍♀️

You could have been explicit at the outset and those people could have chosen not to come - but you weren’t, so it is what it is.