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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have wanted it to be a child free evening?

204 replies

Flowers876 · 02/05/2026 20:47

Ive planned an evening cinema trip with the work girls. In the group chat one of them asked if she could bring her daughter (7 year old) I didnt know how to say I would rather she didn't but I was surprised she even asked tbh. Now it turns out another girl is bringing her 9 year old. I just wanted a grown up girls evening. I know I had the opportunity to say no but how would I have phrased it without sounding rude and offending her? How would you have said it? I'm not looking forward to it as much now as I dont know either child. I know I can be a people pleaser.

OP posts:
Chocolattcoffeecup · 02/05/2026 21:04

I think it's okay to say "I was planning on leaving my child at home and was looking forward to an adults only catch up"

AnneLovesGilbert · 02/05/2026 21:04

“I’d rather not this time, let’s keep it just adults”.

venusandmars · 02/05/2026 21:03

Did you say 'ok yes' to the 7 year old? Or not reply?

I'd say: sorry, I thought I was organising an evening out for colleagues, not a family event. Anyone else interested in going for a drink after the show?

And maybe next time we make it colleagues only event.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 02/05/2026 21:01

Unless you had plans for food and drink afterwards it makes no difference you can't chat at the cinema

Roads · 02/05/2026 21:01

Pippilongstocking2 · 02/05/2026 20:59

Oh come on - of course it does

children there censors what they can talk about for a start

Show quote history

Did you quote the wrong post? I'm not disputing that it changes the dynamics but it seems very odd that children have never attended and yet now two of the group suddenly think it's appropriate.

shhblackbag · 02/05/2026 21:00

WallaceinAnderland · 02/05/2026 20:58

If all you are doing is watching a film I can't see that it makes a difference.

I definitely can. Especially if the children get bored. Presumably no drinks after either. Very different evening.

MyBraveFace · 02/05/2026 21:00

YANBU. It will change the dynamic of the evening. OK, you'll be at the cinema so perhaps not a huge amount of talking, but for what there is there'll be a sense of having to be slightly on your guard against saying anything inappropriate for children.

I'd be tempted to say you were hoping to see a 15 or 18 rated film.

Pippilongstocking2 · 02/05/2026 20:59

Roads · 02/05/2026 20:57

I'm wondering what film it is. It seems odd that two of the group have assumed it's an open invite including children.

Oh come on - of course it does

children there censors what they can talk about for a start

Paveparadiseputupaparkinglot · 02/05/2026 20:59

What are you going to see that kids can come too?

Also, it’s the cinema, you’d not notice if they were there or not!

WallaceinAnderland · 02/05/2026 20:58

If all you are doing is watching a film I can't see that it makes a difference.

IWaffleAlot · 02/05/2026 20:57

Just decline op. You do know that this is now going to become the norm. So what’s the point in hanging out with these people.

Foughties · 02/05/2026 20:57

I would absolutely hate to go out with other people's children. I wouldn't go. I would have just said that I'd like it be adults only.

Roads · 02/05/2026 20:57

I'm wondering what film it is. It seems odd that two of the group have assumed it's an open invite including children.

Isthisright220 · 02/05/2026 20:57

If it’s to see devil wears prada. It will go right over the 7 year olds head

Pippilongstocking2 · 02/05/2026 20:56

If course they shouldn’t be bringing kids

it totally changes dynamic - surely you want to have a bitc about work for one!

Original poster
Flowers876 · 02/05/2026 20:56

CharlotteStreetW1 · 02/05/2026 20:54

I'm with you OP but as it's the cinema will it actually make much difference?

Edited

True

OP posts:
sprigatito · 02/05/2026 20:56

Flowers876 · 02/05/2026 20:55

No

Show quote history

Surely the kids won’t be able to get into the cinema screening then Confused

IWaffleAlot · 02/05/2026 20:56

How rude of them. Can’t imagine why they would think to do this but it seems like more than one of them seem to think it’s ok. I would just decline as I would be so irritated. I have kids myself and wouldn’t think to bring my kids on a planned adults outing.

Bitzee · 02/05/2026 20:55

What film is it? I have an 8YO DD and I couldn’t imagine seeing something with work mates that she’d like… Have you inadvertently suggested a kids film at an early time?

Original poster
Flowers876 · 02/05/2026 20:55

MeridaBrave · 02/05/2026 20:54

Just say. Oh I expected it to be work people / adults only. I won’t be coming this time.

And next time chose a 15 rated film!

I organised it so I couldnt really then back out!

OP posts:
Original poster
Flowers876 · 02/05/2026 20:55

sprigatito · 02/05/2026 20:54

Are you going to see a kids’ film?

Show quote history

No

OP posts:
Original poster
Flowers876 · 02/05/2026 20:55

jetlag92 · 02/05/2026 20:51

There is no such thing as a people pleaser, just say no if you're not keen.

How would you have said that though?
"No sorry, we're not taking kids" seems rude.
I dont have my own kids either (just one adult step child) so its not like I could say "oh I'm not bringing mine so shall we do something else with the kids"

OP posts:
MeridaBrave · 02/05/2026 20:54

Just say. Oh I expected it to be work people / adults only. I won’t be coming this time.

And next time chose a 15 rated film!

CharlotteStreetW1 · 02/05/2026 20:54

I'm with you OP but as it's the cinema will it actually make much difference?

sprigatito · 02/05/2026 20:54

Flowers876 · 02/05/2026 20:53

I wasnt expecting anyone to bring their kids as we've never included kids in any of our meet ups so it wouldnt have occurred to me to say "shall we go to the cinema just us and not take the kids"

Show quote history

Are you going to see a kids’ film?