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Original poster

To have wanted it to be a child free evening?

204 replies

Flowers876 · 02/05/2026 20:47

Ive planned an evening cinema trip with the work girls. In the group chat one of them asked if she could bring her daughter (7 year old) I didnt know how to say I would rather she didn't but I was surprised she even asked tbh. Now it turns out another girl is bringing her 9 year old. I just wanted a grown up girls evening. I know I had the opportunity to say no but how would I have phrased it without sounding rude and offending her? How would you have said it? I'm not looking forward to it as much now as I dont know either child. I know I can be a people pleaser.

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 02/05/2026 23:40

It's the Magic Faraway Tree isn't it op!!😉

JuliettaCaeser · 02/05/2026 23:30

I said “oh are we all bringing our teens now? In an unenthusiastic tone. It’s fine if it’s a parent / child meet up from the outset but unilaterally bringing your kids to any adult social event is socially unacceptable and you should expect others to drop out. Imagine if someone got a babysitter then got stuck with someone else’s kid!

Think Amanda does this in Motherland and Julia bemoans being stuck with “someone else’s nine year old bellend all evening”

Mnetcurious · 02/05/2026 23:20

Something like “oh I was really hoping for a ladies only evening so we could have a good chat, are you stuck for childcare then?”

Legomania · 02/05/2026 23:11

ButterYellowHair · 02/05/2026 22:04

I mean it’s the cinema.. you’re hardly going to be chatting

I have to tell my seven year old OVER AND OVER AGAIN that the cinema is not for chatting. However I wouldn't inflict him on my work colleagues anyway!

JuliettaCaeser · 02/05/2026 23:05

God you can see why other nationalities find
the English frustrating! Why on earth would you advise the op to say “it was lovely to hang out with the kids”?! That’s the exact opposite of what she actually thinks!

HardyFox · 02/05/2026 23:04

So......'It was lovely to have a nght out with the kids but I'm planning a work girls only night on ....at...... Hope you can come!'

JuliettaCaeser · 02/05/2026 23:02

Surely the film is irrelevant? It’s likely either Michael DWP.

Urgh I’m with you op. See also other people’s teens. I’m here to chat to my friends not make polite conversation about your kids a level choices 🙄. It’s also weird doesn’t the kid have their own friends? Most kids and teens would detest actively hanging out with their mum and her friends.

PurpleThistle7 · 02/05/2026 22:59

If it’s just a movie I can’t see the difference. But I am confused about the logistics - did you have plans with other adults to see a daytime kids’ movie and then go home? Because then it doesn’t really matter who comes. But if it’s dinner and a 15+ film at night then I can’t work out what the kids are doing there.

MonstrousRegimentRocks · 02/05/2026 22:55

Was the idea to socialise afterwards as well?

MonstrousRegimentRocks · 02/05/2026 22:54

sunflowersandsunsets · 02/05/2026 22:40

Children under 12 can see a 12A as long as they have an adult with them.

Show quote history

Yeah, I'd think it a stretch for a 7yr old to be honest, but some parents wouldn't bother.

MonstrousRegimentRocks · 02/05/2026 22:53

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/05/2026 22:42

Oh good call, I had forgotten about that.

Definitely not then, because if OP gets pissed off with the kids behaviour she will be the bad one as "It is a kids film, what did you expect?!"

Show quote history

Fair point

DressOrSkirt · 02/05/2026 22:51

I'm also childfree and have to say this wouldn't bother me. I would understand your point more if you had children and were looking forward to time away from them, or if it was a big event (wedding, your birthday etc).

Rainbowunicorn12 · 02/05/2026 22:50

I’d cancel to be fair x

StrictlyCoffee · 02/05/2026 22:47

well it maybe is too late now, you should just have said at the time “I’d rather not actually” why have they got to have their kids tag along anyway?

AImportantMermaid · 02/05/2026 22:42

I think a breezy ‘Just the grown ups tonight, but we should arrange a cinema trip with all the the kids soon’ should suffice.

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/05/2026 22:42

MonstrousRegimentRocks · 02/05/2026 22:37

It's a 12A though!
It must be The Magic Faraway Tree.

Show quote history

Oh good call, I had forgotten about that.

Definitely not then, because if OP gets pissed off with the kids behaviour she will be the bad one as "It is a kids film, what did you expect?!"

pinkyredrose · 02/05/2026 22:41

Tell us what the film is please!?

sunflowersandsunsets · 02/05/2026 22:40

MonstrousRegimentRocks · 02/05/2026 22:37

It's a 12A though!
It must be The Magic Faraway Tree.

Show quote history

Children under 12 can see a 12A as long as they have an adult with them.

MonstrousRegimentRocks · 02/05/2026 22:38

When we've done a cinema trip from work it usually then moves to a bar where we chat about it. Also, it's always an evening performance.
I'm guessing this is a matinee.

MonstrousRegimentRocks · 02/05/2026 22:37

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/05/2026 22:34

My money is on it being the Devil wears Prada film.

Which is going to bore kids to death.

How was it suggested? "Shall we go to the cinema on Saturday?" is more open to hijacking than "Shall we go and see Devil wears Prada on Saturday?" So if they want to change it to something more child friendly, no sorry the trip was to see that film. If the film of choice was open to negotiation you might as well give up now.

It's a 12A though!
It must be The Magic Faraway Tree.

Summerbay23 · 02/05/2026 22:36

I wouldn’t do it (unless my child was say 15+ and wanted to see the film). Don’t think bringing an older child to a film is a big deal as not like you’ll be chatting or anything. I wouldn’t bring a younger child though, seems a bit odd.

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/05/2026 22:36

Sunisgettinganewhaton · 02/05/2026 22:33

Saw Michael last week with ds 17. A young couple walked in(7pm showing when it had already been on hourly since 10 am) with a baby no more than 3 months old..
Idiots imo.

Why?! The first four or so months with a baby are great for cinema trips. They are either asleep or feeding, and as long as the parents are prepared to take the baby out if it wont settle, I dont see the problem.

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/05/2026 22:34

My money is on it being the Devil wears Prada film.

Which is going to bore kids to death.

How was it suggested? "Shall we go to the cinema on Saturday?" is more open to hijacking than "Shall we go and see Devil wears Prada on Saturday?" So if they want to change it to something more child friendly, no sorry the trip was to see that film. If the film of choice was open to negotiation you might as well give up now.

Sunisgettinganewhaton · 02/05/2026 22:33

Saw Michael last week with ds 17. A young couple walked in(7pm showing when it had already been on hourly since 10 am) with a baby no more than 3 months old..
Idiots imo.

MonstrousRegimentRocks · 02/05/2026 22:33

Ophir · 02/05/2026 21:48

I think if I were organising it, I’d say “oh, sorry, this isn’t a kids’ night out, adults only”

Yeah, how hard is it?