Friends going out and sending pics to the uninvited 😵‍💫

Does it really bother you? You are a grown woman.

So weird. It's fine to socialise sometimes with just one or two other people in a wider group, but it's very weird to broadcast it when the others weren't invited.

I think some people now use WhatsApp the way they used to use Instagram ie. sharing photos and videos of nights out, or whatever, in a load of group chats just for some kind of reaction. I'm in a group chat with my partner's family and his brother's new girlfriend does this. I find it quite odd, I've met her once and don't need updates on her life every couple of days but to each their own! But I can see she's just using WhatsApp in a totally different way to me, and assume she is sharing with several groups every time they go out and do something.

Let them! And don't overthink it..

I just can't imagine ever being bothered that two people had gone out for the evening.

Even if I were a little disappointed, I still can't imagine being pissed off about it, starting a thread or considering sending a shitty message to them.

Op why don’t you organise one now for the next weekend they might not realise they are doing it on your group chat or they just don’t care how you all feel. I would just be aww looks great enjoy yourselves and is anyone free next weekend for a night out. It’s been a while.

Why send pics at all, ever? What purpose do they serve?

That person sound mentally unwell 😂who could be bothered to be THAT petty? Quite disturbing behaviour.

If it was the other 5 and you had been left out then I could understand being upset but as it is a minority of the group out together I would be reminding myself that people are allowed to do things without me and that it doesn't mean they don't like me, and I would then be hearting the pics and sending a message the next morning to say I hope they aren't too hungover.

Yes I do thanks @Charlenedickens 😉

@Dancingsquirrels I’m not stoking anything - neither would I do it in a way that would come across that way. That’s you saying that and@BrownEyedLassie is free to ignore or say ‘that wouldn’t work’. That’s the beauty of seeking opinions on a forum. I could say that to most of my friendship groups without any issue but wouldn’t use it for the ones where it wouldn’t.

Yeah, but they're not full of people's nights out

I'd find it a bit sad. Nobody is interested in seeing pics or videos of other people's night out.

May I introduce you to Instagram? And Facebook? And SnapChat? And various other social media?

Awful lot of people wasting their time if no one is interesting in seeing pics or videos' of other people's nights out.

Agree it is just so childish.

i do think some people on here have limited social lives and struggle with understanding basic social rules. They feel that if there is 6 in a group, then there is some weird unwritten rule they can only do things as a 6 or not at all. Of course this isn’t the case, they also seem to feel that any group of mums at school and they are entitled to an invite to join, and if not invited it means they are a clique and excluding them. Which of course they are not.

i don’t know how people come to think these things. Maybe it’s a hangover from a childhood where friendships were difficult. I genuinely don’t know. Maybe it’s just limited social life and as such a lack of understanding on how social interaction works. Either way it’s not healthy.

Who cares what they are up to on a night out? I mean I’m not interested in what my friends do socially if I’m not involved, so why did they bother posting in a group chat?
As for going out just the two of them - that’s perfectly reasonable. You aren’t an octopus that need to socialise all together all the time.

Not everything had to be??!!

This isn't work, or school, its two grown-up having a night out??

I'd find it a bit sad. Nobody is interested in seeing pics or videos of other people's night out. I'd feel as if they were rubbing our noses in it but wouldn't rise to the bait

I remember we had a work's do 4 years ago, massive group of us. Somehow the woman organising it had a bit of beef with me only i wasn't aware. She took multiple pics of everyone except me, tagged everyone except me, worked her way round everyone except me and not only put all 50+ photos on the gc (many of the photos were pretty much identical) but put them all on Fb too. Like anyone who doesn't know us would be at all interested. Talk about attention seeking!

keep in touch every few days via the chat

So what are they saying in this "keeping in touch"? I'm going to guess it's talking about general things going on in their life. If they got out for a meal for their birthday with their family, are they allowed to mention that, or not because it didn't include the whole group?

Chat groups of friends normally cover things that the friends are doing, whether together or separately.
Chat group of friends that are just to organise getting together often don't.

I'd assumed OP's group was the former.

Don't be daft, I know my friends, most of this gang for 10+ years. We're too grown up to take offence at nothing.
Shock horror - 3 of us have just arranged to meet for lunch next Saturday! I doubt there will be photos taken, we're not numpties who photograph our food, but if there are I'm sure we'll share them.

perhaps they were all insulted in truth @Yeseyeam

Nope they didn't know. They knew the clinic was on, but I didn't mention to anyone that I was going. I can be a bit of a loner sometimes to be honest. It came up in f2f conversation that my friend was also booked on, not on the chat. As adults, if they'd wanted to go and have some company, they could have said so on WhatsApp.

Many are like this now, mums and their offspring. And the ones that complain the loudest about being 'excluded' are the ones who are happily being not inclusive when it suits them. It's all main character syndrome and social media has a lot to answer for. Most people don't have the resilience or maturity to engage on social media. Personally I find whats app and stuff like that has ruined so much personal freedom.

If you want to be in a larger friendship group you need a thicker skin.

Or, as seems to be the case, some are not dealing with unprocessed child/ teenage experiences or something, hence all that insane stuff about school run ‘exclusions’ and ‘cliques’ and ‘Alpha Mums’. God help their children if that how they’re modelling friendships, is all I can say.

Perfect, this is what healthy friendships look like. I find clingy friendships very icky. And yes I am not invited to everything, it's normal, but maybe some people are more focused on patterns and appearances than genuine experiences of friendship.

@Yeseyeam i guess that is the difference, Everyone in the group knew you were going.
this scenario seems like bragging