AIBU to worry school topics are overwhelming my son?

Oh god, I did this in year 8, I went veggie, took leaflets into school that were anti meat. Made my mum and dad get me veggie food. Wouldn’t let them keep my food on the same shelf in the fridge. Got upset if they used the same utensils. Etc.

Ranted on about testing on animals and criticised all my mum and dad’s cleaning products based on what brand made them.

I lasted 3 years i think.

I was quite nice to my mum and dad still though 🤣. What I would do is use this as an opportunity to sit down with him and let him know you’re really proud that he has his own views but part of life is appreciating and respecting that other people have different views to you. Tell him he will never influence anyone positively with an attitude.

Remind him that the world isn’t perfect and we all need to do our best within what our beliefs are.

Why are you blaming the school?

As for the you’re evil for eating meat, I’d tell him to mind his manners. He doesn’t have to eat meat but he also doesn’t need to be rude to people who do.

I think this kind of black and white ethical thinking is quite common for a teen/almost teen, as is telling your parents they are wrong about absolutely everything. I don't think anything unusual is happening at school and nor do I think he's having a crisis.

I would engage with the challenging questions where you can - it's good that he's a deep thinker! But also be honest and say you're glad he's thinking about these things but you don't have the mental space for a debate right now. He also has to be polite about other people's food choices at the table, and can be told there are decisions he doesn't get a say in like the kind of car you drive. But if there are decisions that you can discuss as a family eg do we want to fly on holiday or can we find a train journey to Europe we'd enjoy, and his environmental concerns can be part of the discussion, he's going to feel listened to.

If you're really concerned though, just ask him in a calm moment whether he finds himself worrying about the environment too much? Eg does is keep him away at night or is he just trying to make actively environmental friendly choices where he can?

You've sent him to get an education, and he's engaging with the school activities.

The car thing - he's not wrong. Just explain the carbon impact of switching before it is necessary - engage with him. But also maybe he'd like to look at alternative travel sometimes.

Re. eating meat being 'evil' - lots of vegans would say it's unethical, the word evil is very strong but a position on consuming meat is not that rare.

Teens can be heavy, and he's nearly that age. Obviously keep an eye on things but a bit of angst isn't unusual.

Does he still enjoy his usual activities?

Might be worth taking him to some positive talks or action groups on environmentalism so he can channel the concern.

I’d be seeking medical or psych support sounds like he’s gone beyond a “normal” reaction.

Child with a conscience. You should be proud!

He will get older and adjust. Time will work. Don't bander to him if not resonable.

What makes you think this is coming from school rather than him?

my kids went through their eco phase at about 7 when their school had a green drive which I dealt with by suggesting they do eco stuff (stop buying toys, cycle everywhere not drive etc).

I’m slightly surprised you’ve made it to him being 11 without this happening - most primaries do it at some point.

i assume they do veggie stuff as well but my whole household is veggie so that one didn’t really land.

it’s very common for early teens to realise the full meaning of meat eating though (especially if it wasn’t made obvious when they were young) and go veggie. Not all of them stay veggie.

(I did myself at age 13)