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Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

984 replies

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:28

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

OP posts:
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MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 13:56

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 13:51

Ok so you’re not sure of either “perspective”. Fair enough

Just nipped in while cooking for 9.

I was being perfectly polite with you. It would mean me taking a lot of time to explain my views, which I dont have to-day.

I will say though that you should perhaps treat me with the politeness I did you, and cut out the snarkiness. Prime example there of mumsnet sniping😆

White im here thanks so much for the notifications folks, especially the hearts!

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 13:51

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 12:24

Sorry, too much to do today to get into it. Ill leave it there. Enjoy your day

Ok so you’re not sure of either “perspective”. Fair enough

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 03/05/2026 13:49

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 11:26

No, those things were not kind. I apologise for those. I still stand by them though. By the same token, were you kind to have started this thread and to still be at it this morning?

So you think it's fine to be unkind. Maybe you can stop harping on at the OP now?

Lbet · 03/05/2026 13:46

OMG! You are like a bunch of 5 year olds.

Matronic6 · 03/05/2026 13:46

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 13:32

You can still stand by everything you’ve said and apologise. If you won’t apologise to me, I’m taking back my apology.

Please stop, this is painfully embarrassing.

You have clearly and repeatedly expressed your opinion, yet have sought and still seem to be seeking some validation that you are right. People have different opinions, you expressed your view and OP disagrees which she is perfectly entitled to.

Why do you care so much? I really think you need to stop and ask yourself why you desperately need such validation?

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 13:32

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 13:26

Do you not think we deserve apologies from you?

No. I stand by absolutely everything I said.

You can still stand by everything you’ve said and apologise. If you won’t apologise to me, I’m taking back my apology.

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 13:26

Do you not think we deserve apologies from you?

No. I stand by absolutely everything I said.

OP posts:
Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 13:16

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 13:13

So a case of “Sorry not sorry”.

If your post is aimed at me, I’m sorry for being unkind. I notice, though, that you haven’t apologised to anyone - including to me - when you have been quite nasty to us. Do you not think we deserve apologies from you?

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 13:13

So a case of “Sorry not sorry”.

OP posts:
Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 13:06

ValhallaCalling · 03/05/2026 12:27

Unbelievable.

You've been like an attack dog desperate to tear OP down. It's embarrassing.

I’ve made good and clear arguments that question why the OP is posting here. On one hand, the OP is asking for reassurance that she was not out of line to her friend. On the other hand, she is joining in and actively encouraging everyone to criticise her friend’s dress. I thought that was really horrible, so called OP out on it. I think that’s entirely fair.

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 13:05

Catsrule12 · 03/05/2026 12:29

In that true you’re delusional

Thanks for that.

Radionowhere · 03/05/2026 12:41

Fecking hell OP that is hideous 😬😂

Catsrule12 · 03/05/2026 12:29

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 10:56

I don’t think I’ve been unkind.

In that true you’re delusional

ValhallaCalling · 03/05/2026 12:27

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 10:56

I don’t think I’ve been unkind.

Unbelievable.

You've been like an attack dog desperate to tear OP down. It's embarrassing.

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 12:24

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 12:22

What’s both perspectives?

Sorry, too much to do today to get into it. Ill leave it there. Enjoy your day

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 12:22

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 12:21

From both perspectives, certainly, yes.

What’s both perspectives?

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 12:21

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From both perspectives, certainly, yes.

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 12:19

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MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 12:18

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 12:14

You take a known risk starting a thread on mumsnet.

You take a known risk posting the exact dress your friend showed you yesterday

You watch as hundreds of posters post vicious comments about the dress and often the friend herself

I dont disagree, however all the clamouring and pleading to see the dress very soon turned and it really got very unkind at times, over a very mild issue in the general scheme of things in comparison to other issues in here.

I guess this morning im marvelling at human nature on here. Anyhoo have a nice Sunday.

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 12:14

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 12:00

The folk pointing out that its taken up by newspapers. Thats hardly the fault of the OP.

Its because the gutter press have so little of interest and intelligence that they plunder through sites where a chicken lasts a week and tradesmen shite in our toilets.

The really sad threads where folk are desperately reaching out and at the end of their tether, should they not reach out in case the gutter press make it go viral?

You take a known risk starting a thread on mumsnet.

You take a known risk posting the exact dress your friend showed you yesterday

You watch as hundreds of posters post vicious comments about the dress and often the friend herself

DarkMode2026 · 03/05/2026 12:04

Someone with Zendaya’s looks and figure would this look off.

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 12:00

The folk pointing out that its taken up by newspapers. Thats hardly the fault of the OP.

Its because the gutter press have so little of interest and intelligence that they plunder through sites where a chicken lasts a week and tradesmen shite in our toilets.

The really sad threads where folk are desperately reaching out and at the end of their tether, should they not reach out in case the gutter press make it go viral?

JustSawJohnny · 03/05/2026 11:54

Sometimes it's hard to control a face that speaks louder than your voice!

I have this problem and, well, whilst I try to keep that bitch in check, it's SO much harder when confronted with something shocking and babes, that DRESS! 😖

That dress at THAT PRICE?!!!😝

I think many of us at home probably made even more judgmental faces when we saw the pic, probably followed by a 'Jeeeeeeezuz CHRIST!!!' 😂

At the end of the day your friend knows you have very different tastes in clothing. I have a tendency to 'extra' tastes in fashion myself (honestly, it's a really good thing I'm chubby cus if i were a size 4 it would be ON!) but I get that not many of my friends would ever consider wearing some of my clothes.

And that's ok.

If I were you I'd drop her a message saying something like 'Hey friend, my face reacted yesterday before my brain could. I need to learn to keep that bitch in check. I'm sorry if it pissed you off. You are obviously entitled to buy and wear whatever the hell you want to. I would support you if you chose to wear a carrier bag and you'd probably pull it off! Can we have lunch soon, my treat, and if you're still mad I will let you take me thrifting and pick me out an outfit to wear on our next meet up. Promise I'll wear it! (Just don't actually buy a bin bag) Love you,x,'

At the end of the day you have apologised, OP. You've done your bit. It's now on her to do hers and let it go because nobody owes her liking that dress!

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 11:49

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 11:48

The difference is I haven’t made claims of being kind.

Some of your posts really riled me up, so I told you what I thought and it was not kind. I apologise.

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 11:48

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 11:26

No, those things were not kind. I apologise for those. I still stand by them though. By the same token, were you kind to have started this thread and to still be at it this morning?

The difference is I haven’t made claims of being kind.

OP posts:
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