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Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

984 replies

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:28

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

OP posts:
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LHP118 · 03/05/2026 18:34

I'd appreciate your honesty. Sometimes, we buy fantastic and fantasy frocks that just don't suit. A good friend ensures we know..

Mcoco · 03/05/2026 18:31

It really is an awful dress. Very hard not to react. My friend once laughed at my scarf and I still speak to her. Plus I still wear the scarf!

MMAS · 03/05/2026 18:30

You have fallen into the trap of a fashionista. I never fail to understand how so many of them that have tons of money manage to be so badly turned out. Money does not always equal what actually suits a person.

However, she trusts you enough to show you and, therefore clearly values your opinion not to make her feel stupid at an Event. If the dress had suited her, you would have bowed to that rather than show dissatisfaction. All good with that and deep down she will know it.

The problem might be that she does not have a back up dress and hence the silence.

The Event is clearly very important to her. Maybe Google beforehand the next time you are asked to give an opinion to see what is expected. I would though, stand by what I said earlier, that she values your opinion and wants to look her best and is relying on you for that. Insecure people will reach out.

I think you are a great friend and do not worry.

Besafeeatcake · 03/05/2026 18:27

The problem is that the OP made it all about her. Who cares what you think? That isn’t the point. Be polite and say something neutral like but instead it was more important to make it abiut you and how you felt about it.

OP what everyone is kinda saying is that if you were raised to be polite you wouldn’t have reacted the way you did and made it about you.

ForCosyLion · 03/05/2026 18:13

MaddestGranny · 03/05/2026 18:07

omg. It looks like an explosion in a pelmet factory. No wonder you couldn't keep a neutral blank face.

Explosion in a pelmet factory! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Littlepiggietoes · 03/05/2026 18:12

I’ve just seen the pic - it’s bloody hideous but I would wear that with such joy 🤣 especially if I knew it made my friend die a little inside if I wore it when I was with her.

Littlepiggietoes · 03/05/2026 18:08

Your friend is being sensitive. My best friend has a very different taste in clothes to me - I’m pretty loud and know fine well that most things I wear make her shudder but it’s fine! I once bought new shoes that I was in love with and she nearly wet herself laughing because she hated them so much - honestly it doesn’t even occur to me to react in any other way than to joyfully shout “but LOOK they’re so sparkly/fluffy/shiny/bright!” while she rolls her eyes and pretends to gag.

MaddestGranny · 03/05/2026 18:07

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

omg. It looks like an explosion in a pelmet factory. No wonder you couldn't keep a neutral blank face.

ScartlettSole · 03/05/2026 17:55

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

Pretty certain my gran made me wear this as a young child in the 80s 😂

SisterMidnight77 · 03/05/2026 17:54

I don’t think that’s objectively vile. It’s a bold choice, for sure.

Bikergran · 03/05/2026 17:50

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

Christ on a bike!!!!! I am 72, so have lived through some utterly hideous phases of fashion, but honestly, if I saw that in a charity shop I'd wonder who on earth thought it was a good idea either to design, manufacture, or buy it. You are right, and she is a fashion victim. I hope she kept the receipt.

ccccccccc · 03/05/2026 17:47

That is a really awful dress. Awful style, awful colour, awful fabric, I'm not surprised that you couldn't keep a straight face @SummerFate

ValhallaCalling · 03/05/2026 17:05

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 13:32

You can still stand by everything you’ve said and apologise. If you won’t apologise to me, I’m taking back my apology.

OMG! Grow up!

Fishneedscycle · 03/05/2026 17:01

FeliciaFancybottom · 02/05/2026 15:48

Is it this?

That is stunning

Throwmoneyatit · 03/05/2026 16:40

If my friends lied to me and told me a dress was lovely that they really thought was hideous, I'd be upset that they weren't honest with me.

That's what friends are there for - being honest with each other. You can tell them your biggest secrets, or your worst worry and expect them to be honest with you.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Just a normal friendship within my circle.

GrumpyButOk · 03/05/2026 16:38

I'll take my ball home if you're not careful and then none of you will get to play with it. I'm not sorry either. Well maybe a bit sorry. But I might retract that partial apology...unless you agree with me now. Do you agree with me yet? Do you?

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 16:27

QGMum · 03/05/2026 15:37

I do love the Mumsnet war zones

Bun fight😆

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Fiftyandme · 03/05/2026 16:19

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

Clearly we’re heading into a shortage of nappy bags.

Truly truly awful

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 16:17

If you dont believe that then try finding that post. Mumsnet didnt like it.

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 16:15

It wasnt. It was the post where you answered me saying dont you ever wonder why some mumsnetters have no friends.

Hence me saying yes from both perspectives, which was when you got snidey.

Wasnt going to engage but dont like to see untruths posted.

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 15:50

user233675892 · 03/05/2026 15:44

If we're using that as a metric, I believe the OP has had more posts deleted than anyone else on this thread. I'm not sure how meaningful that is?

My deleted post was simply linking to the mumsnet thread about this very same dress

user233675892 · 03/05/2026 15:44

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 14:28

Your post today at 12.19 was deleted. Obviously for a reason by the mods.

Ergo Im not getting into a slanging match. Ive been perfectly polite with you in the face of your snarkiness and clear riling, but it ends now.

If we're using that as a metric, I believe the OP has had more posts deleted than anyone else on this thread. I'm not sure how meaningful that is?

whatwouldlilacerullodo · 03/05/2026 15:40

You did all the right things. You weren't mean. If your friend likes clothes that are "out there", she has to deal with not everyone liking her choices (specially when people are polite like you).

QGMum · 03/05/2026 15:37

TemporarilyCantDoMyself · 03/05/2026 14:36

Style and Beauty AKA Just Another Mumsnet Warzone. 😂
And there's me thinking it was a naice discussion about frocks! 👗

I do love the Mumsnet war zones