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Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

984 replies

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:28

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
32
BruFord · 03/05/2026 21:42

People have different tastes, she can't expect you to like every item of clothing that she does. If she feels good in this dress, that's all that matters.

She sounds rather high maintenance.

SaraOnSaturday · 03/05/2026 21:31

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:28

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

I think honesty is the best policy. Perhaps it could've been phrased slightly better but you've explained. You were acting with good intentions though and she may realise this with time.

Marmalademorning · 03/05/2026 21:22

Must admit - I wore a bridesmaid dress in the 90s that was very similar to this. Maybe I could list it in Vinted for £2k as it’s very similar to OP’s friends dress 🤑

StrongbutTired00 · 03/05/2026 21:12

Riverpaddling · 02/05/2026 15:54

Is it made from nappy sacks?

😂

Fangisnotacoward · 03/05/2026 21:07

Christ! That IS hideous.

DramaAndBullshit · 03/05/2026 20:53

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

Taste and style maybe objective and personal, but you’re right, that’s hideous. The fabric looks cheap, the design and cut is a long way from fine tailoring, tiered frills are not exactly technically difficult to sew, and if she’s paid twice your monthly mortgage costs on it she’s been had. I’m not sure what you can say to her other than you don’t like it, but that if she does then that’s all that matters.

Pistachiocake · 03/05/2026 20:42

You can't help it-what you said was right, but your initial reaction was something you can't control. And you're right, it's her choice, and she seems to be overreacting-t's not like you called her baby ugly!

itsgettingweird · 03/05/2026 20:31

AccordingToWhom · 02/05/2026 15:53

There is such a thing as objectively hideous after all.

😂😂😂😂

ParmaVioletTea · 03/05/2026 20:30

I caught the photos. You're right @SummerFate it is "objectively" hideous, Dolce & Gabbana notwithstanding

I lived through the late 70s/80s/90s seasons of Laura Ashley florals (think: 4 Weddings and a Funeral) but nothing that hideous. It's the combination of too many ruffles, plus the shiny nature of the fabric. It looks cheap, even though it's made of cotton.

Nogimachi · 03/05/2026 20:21

If you spend a lot of money on something you know is “out there” and ask a friend you know well for her opinion who doesn’t wear stuff like that, what do you expect?

Really I wouldn’t worry, OP. You clearly weren’t being malicious. She should learn to stand by her own judgement. Or donate the money to a good cause instead…

Snailssitonwhales · 03/05/2026 20:02

SnappyQuoter · 02/05/2026 15:56

That’s… that’s quite something. Oh no. It’s like the dress Drew Barrymore’s character wore to her teenage prom in Never Been Kissed. Or something they’d dress an “ugly sister” in. It’s awful.

Came here to say the same about the prom dress in Never Been Kissed 😅

TheDevilWears · 03/05/2026 19:43

That dress is truly fucking hideous 😂

DownyBirch · 03/05/2026 19:39

Besafeeatcake · 03/05/2026 18:27

The problem is that the OP made it all about her. Who cares what you think? That isn’t the point. Be polite and say something neutral like but instead it was more important to make it abiut you and how you felt about it.

OP what everyone is kinda saying is that if you were raised to be polite you wouldn’t have reacted the way you did and made it about you.

FFS, OP had a fleeting spontaneous reaction which she regretted and hid as soon as possible. How on earth was that making it all about her?

Manxexile · 03/05/2026 19:34

Createausername1970 · 02/05/2026 15:35

She asked you what you thought. If people can't cope with honest reactions then they shouldn't ask.

You didn't say anything bad about it and were trying to be diplomatic.

I think she is the unreasonable one for getting annoyed.

This ^

If you might not like the answer... don't ask the question!

Zerosleep · 03/05/2026 19:33

I think I would have had a problem controlling my face if my friend turned up in that dress too. There is a difference of taste and just fucking hideous, that dress is definitely the later. Having said that I’m sorry your friend is upset as it is her choice what she wears.

Mykneesareshot · 03/05/2026 19:32

It's in the sale now at £967. I hope your friend didn't pay full price. And your reaction was correct!

DownyBirch · 03/05/2026 19:30

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 11:26

No, those things were not kind. I apologise for those. I still stand by them though. By the same token, were you kind to have started this thread and to still be at it this morning?

You apologise for saying unkind things but still stand by them? Are you apologising again, then?

DownyBirch · 03/05/2026 19:21

jjW29 · 03/05/2026 09:26

How was it unexpected as you’ve said a lot of her clothes are “out there” and not to your taste.You must have known it might be something unusual

Unusual is one thing. Actively hideous is definitely something else.

DownyBirch · 03/05/2026 19:17

ThriveAT · 03/05/2026 08:45

Why is she asking your opinion. She clearly likes it and has a different style to you. What does she need your permission for?

You would presumably have to ask the friend why she was asking for OP's opinion. I haven't seen anything suggesting she needed OP's permission for anything?

Sillyname63 · 03/05/2026 19:17

She isn't 100% sure about it herself, otherwise she would not have been upset by your comments.

ThatLemonBee · 03/05/2026 19:06

Now that I’ve seen the dress I understand you more I wouldn’t be able either , not as a first look sort of thing . You apologised so leave it be she will be ok

FunMustard · 03/05/2026 18:57

It is hideous, I wouldn't even pick it up let alone buy it and wear it.

If she's known to be out there, then surely she would be used to people not actually liking things she owns and wears?

And OP, I don't have a great poker face either.

Lizchaz · 03/05/2026 18:57

I wonder if the model is embarrassed to wear it. Her head is cut off in every shot.

TopPrincess · 03/05/2026 18:51

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

You're right - it's hideous. Maybe it looks good on her, but I can understand how you could have a spontaneous reaction.

Wildefish · 03/05/2026 18:41

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:28

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

In true MN style you’re going to get roasted. Ignore the ones who are just here to be mean. I’ve read a few already. You didn’t do anything awful. Next time be ready to tell your face not to react.