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Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

984 replies

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:28

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

OP posts:
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TorroFerney · 02/05/2026 15:47

Createausername1970 · 02/05/2026 15:35

She asked you what you thought. If people can't cope with honest reactions then they shouldn't ask.

You didn't say anything bad about it and were trying to be diplomatic.

I think she is the unreasonable one for getting annoyed.

Agree - what do you think , please lie if you don't like it. My mum does that, do you like my whatever, what are you supposed to say?!

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:46

newornotnew · 02/05/2026 15:43

Stop doing this then!

Stop reacting to things?

OP posts:
BumCrocodile · 02/05/2026 15:46

Mischance · 02/05/2026 15:41

Anyone mad enough to spend that sort of money on one dress would not be my friend. People are using food banks FGS!

@Mischance

How do you know how much the dress cost?

What else shouldn't we be buying because people are using food banks?

Electricsausages · 02/05/2026 15:46

People can spend their own money on what they want

BorgQueen · 02/05/2026 15:45

I remember going to a wedding 4 years ago,
very posh do at The Corinthia in London.
The bride spent all of 2 hours in a £16000, yes 16 thousand pounds ( albeit stunning) wedding dress then changed into something that had apparently cost £5000 ( Prada maybe) and looked like it had come from a market stall for £9.99, my god it was hideous, a dirty off white, clingy and almost see through nylon monstrosity.
Money doesn’t = taste or style.

Mulledjuice · 02/05/2026 15:45

Your words were fine. You've done enough, let her get over it. (And if she doesnt, more fool her).

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:45

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 02/05/2026 15:39

S&B in here shows the huge variety in peoples tatse - there is no 'objectively hideous dress" just opinions. And yours is no more valid than anyone elses. Have you considered that as she is very knowledgable about clothes she may know more than you? Your confidence in your personal taste is arrogant - your view is no more 'objective' than hers is it?

I’ve already said she pulls off clothes I never could, so I don’t think that’s a very fair comment.

OP posts:
FancyBiscuitsLevel · 02/05/2026 15:44

We need a link. Honestly we need to see if you are reasonable or not and then work back to fixing this.

WilfredsPies · 02/05/2026 15:44

Sourandsweet1 · 02/05/2026 15:30

and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous.

no, not “objectively hideous” at all.

I agree with this. I don’t know how old you are, but I remember Vivienne Westward going on Terry Wogan’s chat show with her beautiful clothes and he was taking the piss and the audience were laughing at them. Although fashion filters down from the catwalk to the high street, there will still be many pieces that will look ridiculous to someone who shops at Boden and M&S, but that would be really appreciated by anyone really into their fashion. It doesn’t seem to have occurred to you that she might look at your wardrobe and think how bland and tired looking it all is? Or how conventional your home decor is?

I think that the best thing you can do is send her a text and say that you’re really sorry, you love her choices and how fabulous she looks in them, and you reacted without thinking because it’s a choice that is so far out of your comfort zone, but that doesn’t mean that that there’s anything wrong with it. You love that she doesn’t judge you for your choices and that you’re so sorry you’ve made her feel like you’ve judged her choices.

DreamyScroller · 02/05/2026 15:43

Mischance · 02/05/2026 15:41

Anyone mad enough to spend that sort of money on one dress would not be my friend. People are using food banks FGS!

People are using food banks FGS!

I don't see what this has to do with what anyone else chooses to spend their money on.

newornotnew · 02/05/2026 15:43

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:37

I tried not to - it was just my first reaction as it was so unexpected.

Stop doing this then!

Sourandsweet1 · 02/05/2026 15:41

Mischance · 02/05/2026 15:41

Anyone mad enough to spend that sort of money on one dress would not be my friend. People are using food banks FGS!

The op hasn’t actually said how much!

how much?!

Mischance · 02/05/2026 15:41

Anyone mad enough to spend that sort of money on one dress would not be my friend. People are using food banks FGS!

Leavesandthings · 02/05/2026 15:40

People who dress extremely boldly, and in a way intended to get a reaction, should take it on the chin if someone else doesn't like it!
It's par of the course.

SnappyQuoter · 02/05/2026 15:40

You’re not rude for disliking her dress. You are allowed different tastes. She was a bit rude for having a huff about that.
But it is always better to be tactful so you need to prepare your face from now on so it’s ready to hide the disgust no matter what!

But… we really need to see the dress because if it’s that awful, maybe no one could control their face!

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 02/05/2026 15:39

S&B in here shows the huge variety in peoples tatse - there is no 'objectively hideous dress" just opinions. And yours is no more valid than anyone elses. Have you considered that as she is very knowledgable about clothes she may know more than you? Your confidence in your personal taste is arrogant - your view is no more 'objective' than hers is it?

ManchesterGirl2 · 02/05/2026 15:39

Why do you need to fix anything? You weren't rude, you just didn't massively convincingly lie to her.

And it seems pretty insensitive of her to tell you that she's spending such huge sums on a dress.

gamerchick · 02/05/2026 15:39

Sorry OP, we want to see the dress.

Gettingbysomehow · 02/05/2026 15:39

We need to see this monstrosity urgently. Well I do anyway 😂

Megifer · 02/05/2026 15:38

What sort of style is it? Is it like a Toast apron type thing in brown, or proper sequin/tulle gown in highlighter pink?

Sparkletastic · 02/05/2026 15:37

No dress no comment 😶

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:37

newornotnew · 02/05/2026 15:34

But why did you react so strongly? It doesn't matter if you dislike someone else's clothes, you don't wear them.

I tried not to - it was just my first reaction as it was so unexpected.

OP posts:
SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:36

shesarunnershesatrackstar · 02/05/2026 15:34

Show us the dress then

I want to, but it’s very distinctive. Although to be fair friend thinks I’m mad for using Mumsnet, so she’s unlikely to see it 😁

OP posts:
SemperIdem · 02/05/2026 15:35

I too need to see the dress!

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 02/05/2026 15:35

Why do you feel the need to fix it…. It’s ok we don’t all have similar tastes

If she didn’t want an opinion she shouldn’t have shown you the dress- the fact she went straight to you must hate probably means she wasn’t the biggest fan of it either and you have confirmed that.

I wouldn’t try to fix it - if you loose a friend over an outfit where you didn’t actually say anything bad anyway - is she actually a friend?