Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

Wow it’s exactly as you describe OP! What was she bloody thinking? 🤔

This ⬆️.
It was subjectively hideous.

It's that exact colour isn't it.
Vile.

Yeah, the dress is dire, although that is beside the point in a way.

I don't think you've done anything wrong.
If she likes 'out there' style, it seems odd that she would be offended by a friend not being into something she is into. Is her confidence really so fragile that your facial expression would destroy her self-esteem / ruin her enjoyment in the event she is attending / stop her from wanting to be your friend? Or is this your anxiety speaking?

People who don't want honest reactions should not, in my view, ask for opinions. There are exceptions to this - the apocryphal 'does my bum look big in these jeans?' conversation when someone is getting ready and already stressed out, or when someone has bought an expensive wedding dress that they cannot return. There are certainly times when I'd work hard to feign enthusiasm or go for a white lie and some reassurance over honesty. But it doesn't seem like one of those times, and anyway, you couldn't help your initial momentary reaction! You've said all the lovely reassuring follow-up things!

I think you’d be a worse friend letting her wear that without some kind of hint that people will think she is absolutely off her rocker!

That dress has managed to combine Barbara Cartland, the worst of the 80s, and also the texture of a bin liner. And possibly Amy might have worn it in the Big Bang Theory.

I've seen wedding dresses made with that texture. I guess it's popular.

If she likes it, she does have to accept that some people are going to hate it. I would probably turn up to a formal event in a suit. Some people would hate that.

It’s not your fault OP. You didn’t mean to hurt her but couldn’t help your expression. And also, what can you do now? You can’t reverse your expression.

There is not a lot more you can do. If you are a good friend otherwise, hopefully you can both move on. Just don’t go anywhere near her with a lighted match.

That is hideous! YANBU

It’s a bold dress and she likes to dress boldly. It’s precisely the type of dress for someone who wants to wear a dress most other people wouldn’t. It’s a dress that wants to get a reaction.

The material isn’t for me but I do like the style.

I can quite imagine someone confident with a good figure pulling that off.

I’d stop apologizing OP, it will only make it worse. She chose to buy a provocative dress. It’s a total marmite dress . People who love what the dress is trying to do with love it. Others will hate it. It’s that type of dress. It’s not meant to be a ‘safe’ dress. She needs to own that. This isn’t all on you.

Bloody hell. Nearly spat me tea out

I don't see that there is anything to fix. She asked your opinion, you gave it. A little mor sincerely and negatively that she expected. But you did nothing wrong.

You've compounded your blameless behavior by delivering the usual - and fully acceptable - "different tastes" defence and by reaching out to smooth things over.

She has responded with nothing. She's either sulking, dissing you to all your mutual friends, or rethinking the dress. Whatever, the ball is in her court now to teassure you thatbthings are OK, if that is the case.

If things aren't OK - well, you've lost a friend who didn't have the sense to separate taste in dresses from what really matters in a friendship.

That's not quite as bad as I was envisioning, but it's definitely not something I would want to wear. It's got Ugly Sisters overtones.

Oh no it doesn't.
Oh yes it does.

Over a toilet roll type dolly dress.

It really does look like plastic! Did you feel the texture?
You've done nothing wrong, you didn't intend to let your reaction slip across, and that dress is, um... just wow.

Only a very tall, slender, tanned and elegant figure could look stunning in that dress. It is overwhelmingly fussy.

That’s… that’s quite something. Oh no. It’s like the dress Drew Barrymore’s character wore to her teenage prom in Never Been Kissed. Or something they’d dress an “ugly sister” in. It’s awful.

Carrier bag chic.

I’ve seen worse.

Or Quality Street wrappers?

@SummerFate if it's any consolation I once went out with a friend wearing a coat that I thought was a dressing gown... a comedy dressing gown. It made her look like Big Bird from Sesame Street - oh my God, I'm cracking up as I type this - and I really thought I was doing a good job hiding my feelings

She was very wealthy and big on couture and normally has the most amazing clothes

Clearly, I didn't hide my shock properly because she made a joke about it as we were walking to the bar! I think that would be more of a normal response.

Anyway, I tried to hide my feelings and it totally didn't work

So yours slipped out, what can you do? I think a lot of people would react like that to that style of dress.

I started a thread too! Couldn't believe that was in style.

it was a long time ago, though. Oh dear, I've been on here for too long and I post too much.

I'm sure she'll get past it.

Yes. That is objectively hideous. She should be thanking you for staging an intervention. Apart from anything else it looks aggressively flammable.

Is it made from nappy sacks?

I would never in a million years choose the dress, but I think you've been very rude and judgemental towards someone you say you consider a friend.

It isn't even that out there, it's just ruffle-heavy.

Given you know she wears more unusual clothes than you, I can't understand why this dress made you shocked.

Oh now that really is something isn't it 😳