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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

984 replies

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:28

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

OP posts:

Thread gallery

GameOfJones · 02/05/2026 16:37

I actually don't think you've done anything wrong. If she dresses "out there" she surely already knows that some of her choices aren't going to be to other people's taste.

People that ask for opinions from others and then are upset when they hear them are a personal bugbear of mine.

Ok, your face gave your thoughts away before you could say something diplomatic but that's not the crime of the century and you've apologised. She's being juvenile ignoring you and I wouldn't continue to apologise to her. Just leave the ball in her court.

Monty36 · 02/05/2026 16:37

You have apologised for not being able to hide what you thought of the dress and for hurting her feelings.

Always a bad idea to buy, then ask. Best to ask before buying.

But she is used to buying things a little unusual. And can carry them off. Why she is so heartbroken you dislike it I am not sure.

Ghostspritz · 02/05/2026 16:36

That’s a tough look to carry off. Why would anyone put themselves through it. You can’t help your face OP. You said the right things and apologised for your unintentional initial reaction. Your friend shouldn’t ask for opinions if all she wants is yes people.

Ilovelifeverymuch · 02/05/2026 16:35

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

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Hahaha reminds me of the Balenciaga trash bag dress memes

damemaggiescurledupperlip · 02/05/2026 16:35

It’s a friend’s job to point out that something could be an expensive mistake. If I got that reaction i’d take it on board and ask some other people what they thought. Then I’d have a rethink if they all hated it

EllaPaella · 02/05/2026 16:35

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

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Oh dear.. i’m afraid I’d struggle to keep a straight face

CoastalCalm · 02/05/2026 16:35

Reminiscent of my bridesmaid dress from the very late 80’s

Okiedokie123 · 02/05/2026 16:35

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

Show quote history

You are 100% correct! That is hideous. Worse than I guessed at 😂

SonyaLoosemore · 02/05/2026 16:33

user233675892 · 02/05/2026 16:21

I kind of think you should as the mods to delete the photo @SummerFate, because it seems to me that it's gone from AIBU to have inadvertently made my friend feel bad, to giving all of mumsnet a chance to make fun of her. If I was in her shoes and inclined to get over her hurt feelings, I'd feel much less charitable now.

Edited

You're probably right, but the sad thing is that we are not laughing and groaning at OP's friend, but at that particular dress, so there's no need for her to be upset or offended. She likes it and can possibly carry it off, who knows, but many people who see that dress - designed by so called experts in their field and sold for humungous amounts of money - will gasp with horror.

Illegally18 · 02/05/2026 16:33

newornotnew · 02/05/2026 15:34

But why did you react so strongly? It doesn't matter if you dislike someone else's clothes, you don't wear them.

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The OP's face reacted instinctively to the dress, as she explains clearly in her post.

TeflonMom · 02/05/2026 16:33

Mother of God

RobinEllacotStrike · 02/05/2026 16:33

Oh dear I guess your response compounded her underlying & growing unease that she had spend 2 grand on an absolute turkey of a dress. It looks like it’s made from plastic bags.

mustwashmycurtains · 02/05/2026 16:32

I knew I had seen this dress before - it’s Crystal Barbie 1983 😬

WonderingWanda · 02/05/2026 16:32

No more apologising to her. You are allowed to dislike it and she needs to get over herself.

I agree with you and if someone I knew said they'd bought it asked me if I liked it my first response would be "is this a joke?"

Ilovelifeverymuch · 02/05/2026 16:31

Sourandsweet1 · 02/05/2026 15:34

Your friend has though.

and she likes it

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So why is she so desperate for OP to like it? If she likes it and has bought it then stop asking people what they think about it and getting upset if they don't like it.

EBearhug · 02/05/2026 16:30

It says it's a silk/cotton mix, so it probably doesn't rustle too much. I think a tall, slim, dark person could probably pull it off, but many of us couldn't. Also, I'm glad I don't have to clean it or iron it.

I think your friend will get over it in time. But I suspect like me, you shouldn't take up a career as a poker player.

ForCosyLion · 02/05/2026 16:30

Createausername1970 · 02/05/2026 15:57

That's not quite as bad as I was envisioning, but it's definitely not something I would want to wear. It's got Ugly Sisters overtones.

Oh no it doesn't.
Oh yes it does.

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🤣🤣🤣

Tikitaka20 · 02/05/2026 16:30

reprobates10 · 02/05/2026 16:29

I've been busted by DCs before as they can read my expressions like a book. Just say:

But Lovely, I don't have to like it, isn't that the point. It's your dress and your choice. It's about whether you like it, not anyone else.

Exactly!!

BananaPeels · 02/05/2026 16:30

It definitely has toilet roll cover vibes. Look, I don’t think you have done anything wrong. She asked your opinion. You gave it. She must known it is quite an ‘edgy’ dress and would raise a few eyebrows which, I expect’ is why she bought it. She wants to be the centre of attention for what she wears and she’ll get. Nothing wrong with that but it is objectively something very very few people could pull off

Tikitaka20 · 02/05/2026 16:29

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:28

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

Maybe just be a kinder friend and support her choices to wear what she wants?

You won’t like everything she wears and she won’t like everything you wear. Part of being a good friend sometimes involves telling a white lie to keep them feeling happy and confident about their own choices - which in my view was entirely the right thing to do here, because it was a fashion choice.

Your friend’s self-esteem might be quite bruised now. Was it worth contributing to that?

zingally · 02/05/2026 16:29

You're right OP. It IS awful!!

reprobates10 · 02/05/2026 16:29

I've been busted by DCs before as they can read my expressions like a book. Just say:

But Lovely, I don't have to like it, isn't that the point. It's your dress and your choice. It's about whether you like it, not anyone else.

ForCosyLion · 02/05/2026 16:29

OP, I know - tell her that you've looked at the dress a bit more and that it's growing on you!

ForCosyLion · 02/05/2026 16:28

user1492757084 · 02/05/2026 15:57

Only a very tall, slender, tanned and elegant figure could look stunning in that dress. It is overwhelmingly fussy.

I think Kate Middleton could pull it off.

You know, it's growing on me!

ByRealOtter · 02/05/2026 16:27

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 02/05/2026 16:07

My DD would have LOVED that when she was four.

Even if your friend is slender, has model looks and walks like she's straight off the catwalk, that dress is going to be a tough act to carry off.

I think you just sit back now, OP and let your friend come to you. But my god, I hope there are no horses to frighten at the event she's wearing that dress to.

The horses comment made me chuckle 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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