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Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

984 replies

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:28

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
32
Tikitaka20 · 02/05/2026 19:07

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 19:03

Maybe just be a kinder friend and support her choices to wear what she wants? Your friend’s self-esteem might be quite bruised now. Was it worth contributing to that?

As I’ve made very clear, I didn’t actually SAY I hated it. I don’t think a grown woman needs me to “support her choices” - of course she can wear what she wants to wear.

As for her bruised self-esteem, she’s not a shy 16 year-old who’s just been told her prom dress makes her look like a drag act doing Bella Emberg. As another poster pointed out, she wears bold clothing a lot of the time, which takes a certain amount of confidence. That’s why I’m surprised she is so bothered about my reaction. Maybe she just really loves the dress and has taken it more personally than she normally would.

I didn’t say anywhere here that you’d said you hated it. You just sound very inconsiderate to your friend.

Also, your posts don’t really make sense to me. Your OP seems to say one thing (I’m so worried I might have unintentionally upset my friend) and your subsequent posts seem to say another (here’s a link I’m posting anonymously to the horrible and ruinously expensive dress so you and I can all mock it together, but please please don’t tell my friend - she’ll kill me!)

To me, this blows up your argument that you didn’t mean to hurt your friend’s feelings.

Also, the Daily Fail have picked up this thread, so your friend might see it.

ChiliFiend · 02/05/2026 19:06

Clearly I'm the only person on earth with this view, but I like it :) I couldn't pull it off but I love the metallic pink.

Instructions · 02/05/2026 19:05

Well it is a hideous dress and I would struggle to pretend I didn't think so.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 02/05/2026 19:05

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:46

Stop reacting to things?

Yes. Learn to use a plain face. Your opinion shouldn’t be strong enough to read it from your face, especially over a dress

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · 02/05/2026 19:04

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 19:03

Maybe just be a kinder friend and support her choices to wear what she wants? Your friend’s self-esteem might be quite bruised now. Was it worth contributing to that?

As I’ve made very clear, I didn’t actually SAY I hated it. I don’t think a grown woman needs me to “support her choices” - of course she can wear what she wants to wear.

As for her bruised self-esteem, she’s not a shy 16 year-old who’s just been told her prom dress makes her look like a drag act doing Bella Emberg. As another poster pointed out, she wears bold clothing a lot of the time, which takes a certain amount of confidence. That’s why I’m surprised she is so bothered about my reaction. Maybe she just really loves the dress and has taken it more personally than she normally would.

id say thats the reason, she likes it more than previous ones

Delici · 02/05/2026 19:04

My friends often think that my clothe choices are ridiculous but I don’t care!

Dishwashersforever · 02/05/2026 19:04

You can’t control your face! If you don’t like it why would you pretend you do? I’d rather my friend told me the truth and wouldn’t get annoyed if they did!

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · 02/05/2026 19:03

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

overall its not the worse, personally id say its different than traditional but other than that it seems ok, whos the designer ?

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 19:03

Maybe just be a kinder friend and support her choices to wear what she wants? Your friend’s self-esteem might be quite bruised now. Was it worth contributing to that?

As I’ve made very clear, I didn’t actually SAY I hated it. I don’t think a grown woman needs me to “support her choices” - of course she can wear what she wants to wear.

As for her bruised self-esteem, she’s not a shy 16 year-old who’s just been told her prom dress makes her look like a drag act doing Bella Emberg. As another poster pointed out, she wears bold clothing a lot of the time, which takes a certain amount of confidence. That’s why I’m surprised she is so bothered about my reaction. Maybe she just really loves the dress and has taken it more personally than she normally would.

OP posts:
CharleneElizabethBaltimore · 02/05/2026 19:00

does anyone know what the dress is please ?

Ohgoose · 02/05/2026 18:59

The fact that it’s now going for almost half price on the debenhams website says it all. I very rarely think something is completely hideous but that’s not only ugly but looks fucking awful on the model who I’m sure has an amazing figure.

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · 02/05/2026 18:59

im currently studying or shall we say im starting at zero fashion knowledge and it seems there are many various fashion styles and some are omg @SummerFate do you have the designers name and style of the dress etc ?
as for your situation, id say it is what it is sometimes the body language is more powerful than the words we use. especially when one practices deception of saying one thing but thinking another.

ThisJadeBear · 02/05/2026 18:58

I think if you buy a dress like that you know that most people aren’t going to be keen.
Context is also important.
I am thinking of a sunny villa in Italy, or even the Las Vegas strip, with a golden tan, fabulous shoes and huge sunglasses - someone could carry that off.
But if it’s for a standard British wedding, it’s going to look bonkers. However, it will get more attention than the bride, and maybe that’s the point…..

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 02/05/2026 18:57

SnappyQuoter · 02/05/2026 15:56

That’s… that’s quite something. Oh no. It’s like the dress Drew Barrymore’s character wore to her teenage prom in Never Been Kissed. Or something they’d dress an “ugly sister” in. It’s awful.

This is immediately where my mind went.

needapokerface · 02/05/2026 18:57

Havent read the whole thread so apologies if someone has already mentioned this but my granny had a toilet roll holder that looked exactly like that Smile

Overthehairyones · 02/05/2026 18:56

Catterbat · 02/05/2026 17:42

3 - throw it in the fucking sea

Edited

Please, in 2026 we do not want any sea creatures potentially killed by having a nibble on what looks like 300 square feet of pink bin liner.
Just think of the conservationist's outcry.

CurlewKate · 02/05/2026 18:55

A dress can’t be objectively hideous.

Swiftie1878 · 02/05/2026 18:54

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

OMG. Yup, you’re right.

MustWeDoThis · 02/05/2026 18:54

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:28

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

Unfortunately when people ask us do we like something, they always plan on getting a positive reaction and answer. That's on them. Whenever I ask someone about fashion, I always prepare myself for an opposing opinion/remark etc. I love the colour purple, but my best friend hates the colour. It's not the end of the world.

If she doesn't want a differing opinion, then she shouldn't ask. She needs to be confident in her own choices and likes without needing validation from anyone else.

BassBug · 02/05/2026 18:53

Electricsausages · 02/05/2026 15:46

People can spend their own money on what they want

I don't think that's the issue. Her friend asked for her opinion and she gave it.

IDontHateRainbows · 02/05/2026 18:52

I once had a friend say a hat I was wearing was hideous, she actually said those words. I was mildly pissed off but decided it wasn't hideous ( although a bit out there, yes, think a fluffy Russian hat in multicolours) and that id wear it next time I saw her, to make a bit of a statement.

Then I got on with the important business of living my life and not giving a fk.

worldshottestmom · 02/05/2026 18:51

What's wrong with wanting to look like a packet of wafer ham?

TheFormidableMrsC · 02/05/2026 18:50

It looks like it’s made of bacon.

ShockingBritain · 02/05/2026 18:46

This is a Dolce & Gabbana pink metallic ruffled dress with a layered, off-the-shoulder design.

Its a bargain, currently only half price at £1500 😂

JoshLymanSwagger · 02/05/2026 18:45

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

OMG I had to wear a bridesmaid dress in a similar colour and style in the 80s. Ra-ra skirt inspired!
🤮
When my parents died I burned the photographs.