Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

984 replies

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:28

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
32
Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:05

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:03

By making out I’m somehow going to permanently crush my friend’s self-esteem by starting this thread? Or that I’m a terrible person for doing so?

That’s not being a drama queen. I think it’s called… being nice? You should try it.

user233675892 · 03/05/2026 00:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

A twat for answering your AIBU with, yes, you are? Ok. Anyway, I've reported this thread, so MNHQ can decide whether or not you're genuine, so in the meantime, knock yourself out being unpleasant.

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:05

Tikitaka20 · 02/05/2026 20:06

It has!

Try Googling it. It doesn’t come up.

OP posts:
SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:03

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:01

How am I being a drama queen?

By making out I’m somehow going to permanently crush my friend’s self-esteem by starting this thread? Or that I’m a terrible person for doing so?

OP posts:
SpryTaupeTurtle · 03/05/2026 00:02

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

Suffering fuck. That's hideous. It's like a quality street wrapper

user233675892 · 03/05/2026 00:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:01

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 23:57

Because you’re being a drama queen?

How am I being a drama queen?

MarmaladeSandwich7 · 03/05/2026 00:01

Leavesandthings · 02/05/2026 15:40

People who dress extremely boldly, and in a way intended to get a reaction, should take it on the chin if someone else doesn't like it!
It's par of the course.

”Par for the course” 🙂

user233675892 · 03/05/2026 00:00

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:28

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

How do I fix this?
Probably not by posting it for 21 pages of laughs at her expense.

Do I just hope it blows over?
Seems unlikely now.

03cg73 · 03/05/2026 00:00

I sympathise OP. As much as I try not to, my face reacts before my mind has time to kick in. Every emotion I feel is instantly written all over my face.

I also agree, the dress is absolutely hideous!

I think you’ve done all you can, you’ve apologised. You’ve said it was personal taste. Maybe leave it a few days and text about something completely unrelated ie. Have you watched (insert name of programme) on Netflix? What did you think of it” kind of message

Tikitaka20 · 02/05/2026 23:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Oh, good one 👏👏👏

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 23:59

EmeraldShamrock000 · 02/05/2026 19:23

No need to be such a smarty pants.
You should have learned how to use a poker face on occasion as an adult. It is not that hard.
When your friend sees it on the DM you’ll learn how to use a poker face.

And you’re calling ME a smarty pants?! 😆😆😆

OP posts:
Tikitaka20 · 02/05/2026 23:59

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 23:55

I think you misunderstood the sentiment here.

How have I misunderstood the sentiment? On AIBU, posters ask if they’re being unreasonable or not, and I think you have been unreasonable. You’ve used this thread to justify criticising your friend’s dress and have a good laugh at her expense, which I think is nasty.

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 23:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

user233675892 · 02/05/2026 23:57

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 23:55

I think you misunderstood the sentiment here.

I don't know what the original sentiment is, but your friend and her dress have now (apparently) been picked up by a newspaper, so I would guess she'll be even more hurt than she was initially, since her taste has been mercilessly mocked here. If this thread is genuine, which I think is a pretty big if, how do you feel about that? You don't see particularly perturbed, for someone who was so worried about her not having texted you back previously.

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 23:57

Tikitaka20 · 02/05/2026 19:43

Why do I need a get a grip of myself @CrystalMighty? Also, I don’t think that’s correct English, by the way 🤭

Edited

Because you’re being a drama queen?

OP posts:
Tikitaka20 · 02/05/2026 23:56

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 23:53

You really are being quite vile to me. But you’re dressing it up as being nice to my friend.

I think it’s very low that you’re laughing with everyone on here about how horrible your friend’s dress is whilst asking for their reassurance about your behaviour.

If I were your friend, this thread would really really upset me and I would probably cut contact with you.

I don’t think I’ve been vile to you at all - I’ve been very polite.

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 23:55

Tikitaka20 · 02/05/2026 19:40

My thoughts exactly. OP sounds like a mean girl. The Daily Mail have now picked up this thread, so hopefully the friend will see it and never contact OP again. Your friend had a lucky escape tbh.

I think you misunderstood the sentiment here.

OP posts:
GrumpyButOk · 02/05/2026 23:53

OP, not only are YANBU, but you have my admiration for not collapsing into fits of giggles at the sight of it.

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 23:53

Tikitaka20 · 02/05/2026 19:39

OP only soothed the friend after she made it clear she didn’t like the dress. Yet she’s now bitching about the dress here with everyone else whilst asking everyone to make her feel better. I can understand why her friend is so upset. Surely OP isn’t worth the effort?

You really are being quite vile to me. But you’re dressing it up as being nice to my friend.

OP posts:
nunsflipflop · 02/05/2026 23:50

It’s not a lovely dress, immediate thought was, quality street wrapper

ElenOfTheWays · 02/05/2026 23:46

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

The 1980s called and want their bridesmaids fashions back.

ThisOneLife · 02/05/2026 23:33

ThreadGuardDog · 02/05/2026 20:10

What on earth do you think your friends’ choice in clothes has to do with you ?

Friend asked for her opinion.
Don't ask if you mightn't like the answer.