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Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

984 replies

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:28

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
32
2O26 · 03/05/2026 01:07

Jan 28, 2023, a post from Monica:
Decided to Prank some of my friends & family by sending them a really ugly dress that I’m “ thinking of purchasing”, here’s how it went:
The dress in the video Monica uploaded is the exact same dress as OP's friend:
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1685642085188263

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 01:05

user233675892 · 03/05/2026 01:03

I would suggest you click on 'see all' for the OP's posts and have a look at the way she's gone from worrying about her friend's feelings to relentlessly attacking anyone who suggests that if she is worried about that, posting the dress might not have been the best way to go about mending things.

There's no argument. She posted that as an AIBU and a few of us have said, yes. Not for not liking the dress, but for exposing her friend's taste to public ridicule. She started by calling anyone who dared say that 'loons' and it's gone downhill from there.

I'm sorry your ex was a shit.

I thought you’d said goodnight?

OP posts:
user233675892 · 03/05/2026 01:03

Ihopeithinkiknow · 03/05/2026 00:57

Spiralling? How is the op spiralling ffs. My ex husband used to say shit like that to me when he was clearly losing an argument and had to put me in my place or to try and make me feel small.

I suppose whatever makes you feel better though

I would suggest you click on 'see all' for the OP's posts and have a look at the way she's gone from worrying about her friend's feelings to relentlessly attacking anyone who suggests that if she is worried about that, posting the dress might not have been the best way to go about mending things.

There's no argument. She posted that as an AIBU and a few of us have said, yes. Not for not liking the dress, but for exposing her friend's taste to public ridicule. She started by calling anyone who dared say that 'loons' and it's gone downhill from there.

I'm sorry your ex was a shit.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/05/2026 01:03

This thread reminds me why I hate MN at the weekend.

The wine comes out and so does all the bitchiness in vino veritas.

"OOOHHH!!!!! Need to see a photo of the dress before we can decide"
swiftly followed by
"Wow, call yourself a friend by posting a photo and laughing/taking the piss out of her?! "

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 01:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 01:00

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:52

Correct! (Gosh, guys, this one’s a bit quick learner!) Except your posts were nasty. And could possibly be classed as cyber bullying. Which your friend may - or may not - have seen. Depending on if she read MailOnline this evening. Is your friend a MailOnline reader, usually?

Show me the link to this Daily Mail thread.

OP posts:
SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:59

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:50

Er, nothing?

What was the point of the comment then?

OP posts:
SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:58

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:49

Can you read? Yes?

Then have a look at this.

You said: I also know it’s possible to have more than one account. And I replied to say: You can’t use more than one account on one thread though. I was responding to you.

Got it? Good.

You also can’t change your username after your first post on a thread, as I previously mentioned.

That was in response to your sock-puppeting photo, suggesting everyone who disagreed with you was just the same poster. Which isn’t possible to do now on MN, as we can’t change username mid-thread.

Understood? Good.

Learn the difference between an account and a username.

OP posts:
Ihopeithinkiknow · 03/05/2026 00:57

user233675892 · 03/05/2026 00:07

You're spiralling quite fast now @SummerFate

Spiralling? How is the op spiralling ffs. My ex husband used to say shit like that to me when he was clearly losing an argument and had to put me in my place or to try and make me feel small.

I suppose whatever makes you feel better though

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:52

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:44

I’d already got that. And could not give the tiniest of flying fucks 🥳🥳🥳

Okay! Very nice language. Very classy.

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:52

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:46

Literally every Mumsnet name is an anonymous username. Including all of yours!

Correct! (Gosh, guys, this one’s a bit quick learner!) Except your posts were nasty. And could possibly be classed as cyber bullying. Which your friend may - or may not - have seen. Depending on if she read MailOnline this evening. Is your friend a MailOnline reader, usually?

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:50

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:47

Erm… bully for you?

I’m not sure what you want me to say here.

Er, nothing?

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

How? 🤔

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:49

Can you read? Yes?

Then have a look at this.

You said: I also know it’s possible to have more than one account. And I replied to say: You can’t use more than one account on one thread though. I was responding to you.

Got it? Good.

You also can’t change your username after your first post on a thread, as I previously mentioned.

That was in response to your sock-puppeting photo, suggesting everyone who disagreed with you was just the same poster. Which isn’t possible to do now on MN, as we can’t change username mid-thread.

Understood? Good.

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:47

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:41

I’m very happy with my posts in this thread, thanks.

Erm… bully for you?

I’m not sure what you want me to say here.

OP posts:
SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:46

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:45

I’m not. That’s exactly it. You’re either brave or you’re cowardly. And, well, you haven’t been brave. You’ve just hidden behind an anonymous username to criticise your friend and any posters who’ve disagreed with you.

Literally every Mumsnet name is an anonymous username. Including all of yours!

OP posts:
SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:45

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:42

Don’t be ridiculous 😆😆😆

I’m not. That’s exactly it. You’re either brave or you’re cowardly. And, well, you haven’t been brave. You’ve just hidden behind an anonymous username to criticise your friend and any posters who’ve disagreed with you.

Yellowcakestand · 03/05/2026 00:45

Lots of harsh comments here.
My friends know me well enough that if they ask my opinion I will give it to them plain and simple.
So, if I didnt like something at all I would say that. If I didnt like something for me but think it would suit them I would say that. Its not hard.
I wouldn't lie to someone but my opinion is just that - mine. Not theirs.

Tbh if a friend showed me this dress I would say it looks like one of those dolls you used to cover toilet rolls up with. Because thats MY opinion and they asked for it. You cant just people please all of your life, or walk on eggshells. Sounds as if OPs friend knows that she would be honest and that they have different tastes.

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:44

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:37

I wanted to make it very clear what I think of the sentiment of your thread.

I’d already got that. And could not give the tiniest of flying fucks 🥳🥳🥳

OP posts:
SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:42

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:31

Because you’re either one or the other.

Don’t be ridiculous 😆😆😆

OP posts:
Amybelle88 · 03/05/2026 00:41

Oh the carry ons on this thread! It’s horrendous - there’s no two ways about it. It might be dolce but there’s a reason it’s heavily reduced and now being sold in Debenhams. I don’t care what anyone says, that is bought purely to say it’s a designer label, just like when people buy the monstrosities that Balenciaga sells.

Reminds me of the dress josie grossie wore in never been kissed.

I think a good friend would actually tell the truth, however I also think to be that upset because someone doesn’t like your dress is ridiculous.

Friend’s awful dress and my reaction
Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:41

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 00:40

If you don’t know, I can’t explain it for you.

I’m very happy with my posts in this thread, thanks.

Yeswoman · 03/05/2026 00:41

The OPs reaction seems pretty plausible and genuine - and having seen the photo - she's only human! If the friend shows the dress and the OP reacts in a genuine way how can you blame her? It's a pretty outlandish dress and the OP said her self that she's more conservative with her choices. It seems from what she said she conveyed a more surprised response rather than mean girl however, she's acknowledged that her friend could be hurt which counts for something.

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