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Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

984 replies

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:28

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

OP posts:
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32
Theonebutnotonly · 03/05/2026 08:31

I immediately thought of the doll-in-a-birthday-cake I made for my daughter many years ago, something like this:

Friend’s awful dress and my reaction
Lbet · 03/05/2026 08:29

Oh dear just been reading some of the comments on here and my goodness it’s like being in a children’s playground.
Are you all really grown up parents?
Sounds like there are some very bored folk here looking for an argument.
The poster sounds very childish and what an awful friend coming onto a public forum to mock her friend.

DownyBirch · 03/05/2026 08:25

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:52

Correct! (Gosh, guys, this one’s a bit quick learner!) Except your posts were nasty. And could possibly be classed as cyber bullying. Which your friend may - or may not - have seen. Depending on if she read MailOnline this evening. Is your friend a MailOnline reader, usually?

By the same token you are cyber bullying. So is everyone who posts something criticising their partner, MIL, boss, colleague, or random person they met. Do you get this worked up on every thread where that happens?

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 08:25

DownyBirch · 03/05/2026 08:21

Says someone using an anonymous username to criticise OP and any posters who disagree with her. Hypocrisy lives.

It was a bizarre comment, wasn’t it? As if anyone on here ISN’T using an anonymous username! 😆

OP posts:
DownyBirch · 03/05/2026 08:21

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:45

I’m not. That’s exactly it. You’re either brave or you’re cowardly. And, well, you haven’t been brave. You’ve just hidden behind an anonymous username to criticise your friend and any posters who’ve disagreed with you.

Says someone using an anonymous username to criticise OP and any posters who disagree with her. Hypocrisy lives.

Lbet · 03/05/2026 08:20

That dress is stunning, good on her she will look fab!

Emeraldforest · 03/05/2026 08:18

Ive got dubious taste myself so I'll be charitable and say she might carry it off ok...

Sparkletastic · 03/05/2026 08:14

Oh god I’m totally with you OP. That dress is hideous. No one could be expected to express anything other than horror at that monstrosity!

Whatineed · 03/05/2026 08:09

InfrequentPropolis · 02/05/2026 15:54

Yes. That is objectively hideous. She should be thanking you for staging an intervention. Apart from anything else it looks aggressively flammable.

"aggressively flammable"

💀 💀 💀

PurpleFlower1983 · 03/05/2026 08:05

Yes that is truly terrible.

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 08:04

This reply has been deleted

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Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 08:03

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 07:57

If she wanted me to stay totally silent on it, that’s not really chewing the fat, is it?

She “showed” you the dress.

She didn’t say “what’s your thoughts on this?”

gratefulmezze · 03/05/2026 08:03

There's only one thing worse than reacting negatively to your friends dress and upsetting her OP...and that's coming onto mumsnet, posting the dress and you and a bunch of anonymous strangers laughing at your friend and mocking her dress. nasty.

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 08:03

Sidebeforeself · 03/05/2026 07:58

@Heisrevising Why are you searching for other threads about the same dress?

A previous poster posted it, but then deleted for some reason.

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 03/05/2026 08:03

@SummerFate I think this post will har. Your friendship more than the reaction to the dress.

I am not sure i could hide my facial reaction either, so you are not alone and actually what you said to her was fine.

I have a friend who has exceptionally boldndecor taste that is absolutely not my thing, I have also used a shocked wow and grimaced at some things. We have luckily been friends for over 30 years so we know each other isnt being mean.

Splitfoot · 03/05/2026 08:02

Createausername1970 · 02/05/2026 15:35

She asked you what you thought. If people can't cope with honest reactions then they shouldn't ask.

You didn't say anything bad about it and were trying to be diplomatic.

I think she is the unreasonable one for getting annoyed.

F

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 08:02

You must be exhausted given you were posting throughout the early hours and now here you are!

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 08:01

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WLnamechange · 03/05/2026 08:01

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 07:58

£2000

Where is it from?

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 07:58

MrPickles73 · 03/05/2026 07:58

What's the cost of the dress?

£2000

OP posts:
SummerFate · 03/05/2026 07:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

It’s weird to be stalking me across different threads.

OP posts:
Sidebeforeself · 03/05/2026 07:58

@Heisrevising Why are you searching for other threads about the same dress?

MrPickles73 · 03/05/2026 07:58

What's the cost of the dress?

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 07:57

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 07:56

Chewing the fat?
Thought you might be interested?
Sharing with a friend?

If she wanted me to stay totally silent on it, that’s not really chewing the fat, is it?

OP posts:
DownyBirch · 03/05/2026 07:57

Tikitaka20 · 02/05/2026 21:08

Why is she posting a thread asking for reassurance about her reaction to the dress - and laughing with everyone about how awful she thinks it is - when she purposely hurt her friend’s feelings? I would have told a white lie because I value my friendships more than being right over a bloody dress!! It’s her friend who has to wear it, not her.

How did she "purposely" hurt her friend's feelings by simply being unable to control a fleeting facial expression?

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