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Original poster

Fed up with ladish DP and his mate

231 replies

Hauelzk · 02/05/2026 09:43

Couples night out yesterday - we got the train to the next city, and got the last one home. A boozy evening, really nice time.

DP and this particular friend are big in to their football and can be a bit ‘ladish’ after a few drinks. I roll me eyes usually as does his mates wife.

The station platform was really busy and a staff member was trying to move people. He did become a bit abrupt and some people accused him of being rude, I think he was just stressed.

Anyway, he kind of tripped and just about stopped himself from falling over.

Lots of people cheered, and then DP and his mate started a football chant aimed at him - “you fat bastard” which some others joined in with.

I felt sorry for the bloke. DP says he was being rude so got some deserved stick and it was ‘only lighthearted’.

Am I being a killjoy as he put it?

OP posts:
CheeseWisely · 02/05/2026 14:15

You’re confusing ‘laddish’ with ‘a cunt’ OP. Do you really want to be associated with such an utter bellend?

I’m afraid if I’d witnessed that I’d be thinking almost as badly as the friends / partners that tolerated it as the perpetrators themselves. Evil triumphs when good people say nothing and all.

The construction job is a red herring by the way. I know plenty of tradies (was married to one) and yes that kind of ‘banter’ might unfortunately about fly on site between themselves but they’d never in a million years speak like that to a stranger just doing their job.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 02/05/2026 14:11

Such embarrassing, loutish behaviour. I’d have been ashamed to be seen with him, and would have told him so in no uncertain terms.

MauveSquid · 02/05/2026 14:09

Yeah that kind of behaviour would be instant ick for me.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 02/05/2026 14:06

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 02/05/2026 10:13

He’s a Bully

Yep.

And if you have children. It would make me wonder what kind of standard of behaviour he is showing them and if they think its normal. It's a throwback to behaviour we would have seen in the 1970s and 1980s.

lornad00m · 02/05/2026 14:02

You're married to a real prince. 🙄

Bringmebacktothe90s · 02/05/2026 14:01

yuk. I couldn’t be around someone who behaved like that. He’s a dick end of

Ewock · 02/05/2026 13:55

Hauelzk · 02/05/2026 10:34

He’s in construction so a very male dominated industry. Which he also points out as being a reason why he’s used to more robust ‘banter’

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That is not robust banter it is bullying and verbal.abuse.
I would not be staying with a prat like your dp is. Using the word banter as a cover all for any abuse, grim.

Della19 · 02/05/2026 13:54

I've got secondhand ick. Your DP sounds like a right wanker

Rhaidimiddim · 02/05/2026 13:48

Do you enjoy being out and about with the type of man decent people would cross the road to avoid?

JLou08 · 02/05/2026 13:48

How old are you and DP? I've only seen teenagers act like that. I'd have zero attraction to a man who acted like that.

Ohgoose · 02/05/2026 13:42

Yep, not laddish. He’s a cunt.

PinkyFlamingo · 02/05/2026 13:42

Hauelzk · 02/05/2026 10:34

He’s in construction so a very male dominated industry. Which he also points out as being a reason why he’s used to more robust ‘banter’

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Calling someone who is just trying to do their job "a fat bastard" is verbal abuse not "robust banter". If this had been a woman and they called her a "fat cunt" is that "robust banter"? If you stay with him you are just as bad as him. Disgusting.

nutsfornuts · 02/05/2026 13:41

Oh Christ, no. Not a cat in hells chance I would be with someone who behaved like this.

NeedATreat · 02/05/2026 13:39

He’s an arsehole. I wouldn’t go out in public with someone who behaved like this.

Newmummypamela · 02/05/2026 13:38

That is disgusting. Totally out of order - I would struggle to get past that and would see him for his true colours that he most definitely showed. What a nasty piece of work!!

Notgonnalieaboutthis · 02/05/2026 13:29

Never ceases to amaze me how low some women’s bar is when it comes to a male partner. I’d have dumped him on the spot for being such a yob, apologised to the station worker and got a different train home.

LTB PLEASE

ginasevern · 02/05/2026 13:29

@Hauelzk Fucking hell, you must have dredged the local canal to find this dinosaur. Are you that desperate? I thought men like him died out in the 80's.

Dappy777 · 02/05/2026 13:20

theresnolimits · 02/05/2026 11:40

Now, let’s think. Would he have done this had he been on his own? Would he had done this if the railway guy had a security detail of three behind him? If the answer to both of those is ‘no’, it isn’t ‘banter’ it’s bullying plain and simple. Pick a victim and make him feel like shit.

Not only is this awful for the man doing his job (no wonder no one wants to work with the public) but it’s intimidating for everyone else on the platform - women, older people, young people. It’s why I hate getting on trains with football crowds and hate getting late trains home.

I couldn’t imagine any circumstances where I would want to be associated with a lout like this.

Exactly. The thing I hate about men like that is you know they’d never do that sort of thing on their own. And they certainly wouldn’t do it to a big ex-para with a broken nose. In my experience, ‘laddism’ is a way of hiding. Men who identify as ‘lads’ are usually boring beyond words. Only when they are full of beer or drugs and surrounded by their little friends do they feel confident. Get them on their own, totally sober, and they can barely string a sentence together.

Aliceinmunsnetland · 02/05/2026 13:09

It would if they are on the platform then fell on the tracks. There would be a few people that would be happy about that, I certainly would - no sympathy at all.

onlygeese · 02/05/2026 13:07

Your DP is a drunk bully as has been pointed out to you.
My dsis works in construction and strangely has never behaved like this? I don’t think it’s essential in the field. In fact she has been extremely successful.

Isittimeformynapyet · 02/05/2026 13:03

Aliceinmunsnetland · 02/05/2026 13:01

Okay, I'll say what I really want to then, when one of these drunk or drugged up idiots fall on a rail line or have an accident that maimes them THEN they learn a lesson.

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That would definitely learn them (sic)!

Aliceinmunsnetland · 02/05/2026 13:01

Isittimeformynapyet · 02/05/2026 11:27

It's not actually. I know plenty of men who hang their heads in shame at their own behaviour as young pricks with their faces intact.

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Okay, I'll say what I really want to then, when one of these drunk or drugged up idiots fall on a rail line or have an accident that maimes them THEN they learn a lesson.

wrongthinker · 02/05/2026 13:00

YABU for staying with the abusive twat.

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 02/05/2026 12:51

I’d be horrified if my son ever behaved like this, or my teenage nephew… if my husband acted like this he wouldn’t be my husband. Any chance you married a 15 year old boy by mistake?

HardyFox · 02/05/2026 12:45

He's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Covering it up as 'laddish behaviour' doesn't really cut it, 'true colours' more like.
If you stay together it's a case of put up and shut up, doubtful he'll every change into a caring, compassionate adult so it's whether or not you can cope with that reality really - but can you have a meaningful relationship with someone you don't respect?