Fed up with ladish DP and his mate

He sounds like a bully. I couldn’t put up with this.

That’s no excuse whatsoever. Abuse is abuse. There’s no such thing as banter, it’s just a word people use to deflect from what’s really happening. Your partner is ‘one of those’ kind of men. The kind women dread having to interact with.

He's lucky he didn't find himself in trouble. There are signs all over public transport saying people abusing staff will be prosecuted.

Perhaps they have him on CCTV and will be knocking on his door sometime soon.

He sounds like a thug.

Let’s just look at the facts. A man was doing his job, trying to control a lot of rowdy people on a railway platform (potential H&S risk), alone and unsupported, and your partner decided to shout abuse at him when he stumbled (there’s no such thing as lighthearted abuse). If it’d been a woman and they’d started shouting sexist or mysogynistic abuse at her would that just be banter too?

Doesnt matter what industry he works in, your partner needs to learn to respect other people.

Given you’re on MN I’m going to assume you’re a parent. Do you have boys? Make sure not to let them grow up like this. Do you have girls? Consider whether you’d want them going out with a man who behaves like this.

Sorry but your husbands a dickhead. That poor guy just doing his job, on a night shift, loads of drunk people and then that on top.

Your DP sounds like a bit of a t**t. I hope you don't ever have children with this man because that's not the kind of parent we need in this world

I think you spelt 'bully' wrong. Gross.

Your partner and his mate are VILE!!! Utterly VILE!! Anyone who thinks this behaviour is ok there’s something badly wrong with them. Get some balls and self respect and dump the vile arsehole

Awful. I would be mortified if that was my partner.
‘Laddish’ usually means appalling yob-like behaviour. Low class.

Nasty behaviour aimed at a person trying to do their job.

How would he like it if the body shaming chant and jeering was aimed at him, his dad or his brother?

Your DP sounds a horrid rude git .

edited for spelling

If there’s a power imbalance (outnumbered, humiliated etc) then it’s not banter, it’s bullying. Simple. Like your DP.

I’d be furious and embarrassed with my DP. Nothing wrong with a joke but this went further and was humiliating for the poor guy at the station.

This is disgusting. It was disgusting in 1994 when it might have been less unusual but now it's just bizarre.

Does he have no empathy? How can he think it's ok to humiliate a person at work like that?

I would be so turned off and it probably wouldn't change for me. So I'm not saying ltb but I'd probably end up doing just that.

I have family members who work on site and yes the language and ‘jokes’ can be a bit brutal.
However there is a time and a place and taking the piss out of your fellow mates on site in that environment is totally different to verbally abusing someone in a public place whilst they are doing their job
I can’t imagine my brother in laws behaving like it and they’ve worked on sites for 25+ years and if they had their partners/wives would have been so horrified, they would have been left on the platform.
It’s only banter when it’s people of equal status in a place where both people are participating, otherwise it’s small minded bullying and harassment.

My Dh works in a very traditionally male dominated trade. All his employees are men. I can assure you that this behaviour is not the norm. Dh would never in a million years treat someone like this, nor would anyone he works with, and they’ve been on many boozy nights out.

Your DH has no idea what that man might be going through.

He sounds awful.

This.

the poor station guy.

This.

Your partner has the personality of a 7 year old, actually my 7 yr old nephew is way more mature that your hubbie because at least he's fully aware that a being train staff is a stressful job and knows better not to call "fat bastard" to a poor dude trying to do his job in a very stressful situation.

I feel sorry you have to put up with this t-wat and hope reason for this is becase he's a millionaire, amazing in the sack and wakes you up on sundays with eggs and bacon ready otherwise I see no other explanation.

@Hauelzk Most men grow out of "lad culture" before they reach 20. Is your partner young?

Even the term "lad" makes me cringe. There are other men you can date, so why have you selected a "lad" to be your partner? That makes no sense.

Yeah he sounds like an absolute dick. If you’re not unfortunate enough to be already married to him I’d get rid of does he know you think it’s awful behaviour?

…and it wasn’t even witty or clever. Chanting “you fat b*stard” isn’t just loutish and cruel. It’s the sort of thing a thick 14-year-old would chant because he wasn’t clever or sharp enough to think of anything else.

What a prince amongst men he is

Vom. Last time I've seen someone behave like that was in high school. I would be speechless but my partner is a kind, sincere person.

Your partner is uncouth scum.
The type that decent people step away from, don't want their children to witness, and generally studiously avoid as they are loud threatening thugs with a few drinks.

Yanbu to be appalled.
Any decent person would be.

Oh and people absolutely judge you by the company you keep.

Raise your bar, and don't inflict him on a child.
There are more than enough of this type around spoiling a days outing and the world in general.