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Original poster

Fed up with ladish DP and his mate

231 replies

Hauelzk · 02/05/2026 09:43

Couples night out yesterday - we got the train to the next city, and got the last one home. A boozy evening, really nice time.

DP and this particular friend are big in to their football and can be a bit ‘ladish’ after a few drinks. I roll me eyes usually as does his mates wife.

The station platform was really busy and a staff member was trying to move people. He did become a bit abrupt and some people accused him of being rude, I think he was just stressed.

Anyway, he kind of tripped and just about stopped himself from falling over.

Lots of people cheered, and then DP and his mate started a football chant aimed at him - “you fat bastard” which some others joined in with.

I felt sorry for the bloke. DP says he was being rude so got some deserved stick and it was ‘only lighthearted’.

Am I being a killjoy as he put it?

OP posts:
INeedAnotherName · 03/05/2026 19:49

I don't think @Hauelzk will be coming back but I really hope they are reading every single post and will be making a decision to leave this awful man.

MMUmum · 03/05/2026 19:10

Hauelzk · 02/05/2026 10:34

He’s in construction so a very male dominated industry. Which he also points out as being a reason why he’s used to more robust ‘banter’

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My Ss has worked in the building industry all of his working life, from trainee surveyor to managing director, he would never behave like this. As well as fed up I would find your Dp mortally embarrassing, as the MN saying goes ' put the whole man in the bin'

Confuserr · 03/05/2026 19:02

Your husband sounds like a bit of a dick. I don't know what football has to do with it. I adore football and I wouldn't be a cunt to someone trying to do their job.

Slidingthrulife · 03/05/2026 19:01

I bet he then passed it off as “banter”!!! AKA bullying …

ForestHare · 03/05/2026 18:31

I couldnt spend time with such an immature, unkind prat

starryeyed19 · 03/05/2026 18:05

Is laddish some kind of code for being an absolute dick?

catlovingdoctor · 03/05/2026 11:13

Wow he's a catch...

ScholesPanda · 03/05/2026 10:46

When I catch a train, particularly later in the evening, I usually have a look around to try and work out who I wouldn't want to be in a carriage with- I'm sure a lot of women do this, for safety if nothing else.

Rest assured that on this occasion, it would have been your group that I would have been trying to avoid.

CheeseAndTomatoSandwichWithMayo · 03/05/2026 10:32

Hauelzk · 02/05/2026 10:34

He’s in construction so a very male dominated industry. Which he also points out as being a reason why he’s used to more robust ‘banter’

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Is he unable to discern WHEN robust behaviour is suitable and when not?

Is he aware that calling someone fat is bullying?

He sounds as though he has some difficulties with understanding and learning

Enigma54 · 03/05/2026 10:25

What horrid behaviour from a grown man. I wouldn’t be living with someone who acts like that! Urghh!

Takemytimeandhurryup · 03/05/2026 10:21

I'd have been extremely embarrassed if my DP behaved like that

A671090 · 03/05/2026 10:19

I work in the construction industry and can confirm this is not banter and not normal. Your husband is a dick. End of. Please don’t make excuses for him!

Nogimachi · 03/05/2026 09:49

No. Your DP was loutish and intimidating. Imagine how the poor station supervisor felt, trying to do his job and keep everyone safe while being shouted at and ridiculed.

I think this is a really bad indicator tbh, there’s a latent bully in your partner. Won’t be nice when he starts taking you down and shouting “You fat bitch” to you in front of his mates in a few year’s time.

My husband and his mates are also laddish, love football and will put away 8-10 pints on a night out. They would never behave this way, and if they’d been on that platform they’d have politely tried to calm things and defended the station guy.

pestowithwalnuts · 03/05/2026 09:35

Your DP is an a-hole

SaltySpitoon · 03/05/2026 09:33

He's a bully.

Icecreamisthebest · 03/05/2026 09:30

He’s mean.

And if he calls you a killjoy then he doesn’t want to change. Think carefully about what you do now.

Padz12 · 03/05/2026 00:58

What an absolute arse, the guy was just doing guano! Ffs your partner is a dick!

RaininSummer · 02/05/2026 23:07

How horrible. The poor staff man. I don't like your DP.

BitOutOfPractice · 02/05/2026 22:32

I work in the building industry. I’m a massive football fan. I don’t bully or mock people trying to do their job. I’m not sure why you think either of those things are an excuse or a reason.

He did it because he’s an unpleasant knob. I couldn’t be with someone like that.

CelestialCandyfloss · 02/05/2026 22:32

Sorry but your DP sounds like a vile abusive pr1ck who can't take his alcohol to be honest. Someone is trying to do their job surrounded by drunk idiots and he gets verbally abused.

BuildbyNumbere · 02/05/2026 22:28

Hauelzk · 02/05/2026 10:34

He’s in construction so a very male dominated industry. Which he also points out as being a reason why he’s used to more robust ‘banter’

Show quote history

He must have some idea of health and safety then … or he’s very bad at his job! Assume the guy he abused was trying to keep everyone safe?!?

CatamaranViper · 02/05/2026 22:13

My DH is pretty laddish, loves pints, pubs and sports etc. but he's a nice guy. He's always the one to come to people's defence, if he saw someone fall or trip he'd be asking if he was okay, not mocking him...even after many pints. That's just nasty!

Applett · 02/05/2026 22:11

thetinsoldier · 02/05/2026 15:05

This.

the poor station guy.

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This.
I have an old house that was fully renovated and had lots of construction and trades people through it, and I thought without exception, they were extremely decent, hard working people.

I'm a good cook and always fed whomever did work here, really well ( i found it really cemented the highest quality of work if they were treated to great pizzas, toasties, home baking and great coffee!) They really did an incredible job and were so appreciative.

I could no more imagine any of them behaving as the OP describes.

One glorious day mid winter I had two long retractable lines of washing out and I left the house to meet a friend.
While I was out rain came from nowhere and the guys in the house that day ran out and brought it in.
Total stars.
That's MY experience.

NOT thugs who bully and terrorise a poor man just trying to do his job and keep people safe.

Dregs of society more like.

JoyLoveJoyInOrbitNsoul · 02/05/2026 21:44

@cockadoodledandy or the human race in general.
These types of fuckers always think they're hilarious and onlookers just think 'shut the fuck up idiot'

JHound · 02/05/2026 21:44

This is a disgusting way to treat somebody simply trying to do their job. Your DP and his mate were likely school bullies who have yet to grow out of it.