to think joint accounts aren’t the only “right” way to manage money in a marriage?

I totally agree. We’ve always had a joint household account and savings account but we also have our own money. Dh likes expensive cars and going on golfing trips with his friends and if that was coming out of family funds I’d be a bit peeved! Likewise, if I want to spend £50 on a face cream that promises to blitz all my wrinkles, I don’t have to worry that I’m wasting family money.
I totally get that some people love having everything in a joint pot, but for me having my own money is really important.

Do you both have access to the same amount of disposable income if yes what's the problem.
The problem comes when one partner earns more and yes maybe pays more of the bills but each month has a large amount of disposable income for themselves and the other whilst paying a smaller amount of bills, still struggles to pay for basics like a haircut.

Fwiw we have both, we have a joint account that pays the bills, joint savings, ds spending and savings accounts. Essentially I use a spreadsheet to work out each month what each person pays in to leave us both with the same disposable income. That money lives in personal accounts and means we get financial independence and privacy. I think dh spends most of his, I save a lot of mine, but it's then mine to spend when I want

We have never had a joint account either, been together 37yrs. Always had separate accounts. We consider money to be joint regardless of what account it’s in and who pays what. My DS1 & his girlfriend have been together a couple of years, not living together yet, intend to soon, have a joint account and separate accounts too. So whatever works I suppose.

I agree, it doesn't have to be joint accounts, though of course if that works for the couple that's also fine.

I have been married 13 years and we were together 3 years prior to that.

We've never had joint accounts- largely because I couldn't be bothered with the faff of changing everything e.g. details with work 😂

It's never been an issue, we both contribute equally to things, each knows what the other has, big purchases are discussed and agreed. We don't quibble over small things either e.g. my car had a repair done the other day a DH collected it from the garage so he paid for it but we don't do 'paying each other back' we just take it as family money. Equally I sometimes pay for things.

We have a joint account which covers all joint bills which we deposit from our own current accounts. Anything leftover is our own

I agree, it doesn't have to be joint accounts, though of course if that works for the couple that's also fine.

I have been married 13 years and we were together 3 years prior to that.

We've never had joint accounts- largely because I couldn't be bothered with the faff of changing everything e.g. details with work 😂

It's never been an issue, we both contribute equally to things, each knows what the other has, big purchases are discussed and agreed. We don't quibble over small things either e.g. my car had a repair done the other day a DH collected it from the garage so he paid for it but we don't do 'paying each other back' we just take it as family money. Equally I sometimes pay for things.

I agree, it doesn't have to be joint accounts, though of course if that works for the couple that's also fine.

I have been married 13 years and we were together 3 years prior to that.

We've never had joint accounts- largely because I couldn't be bothered with the faff of changing everything e.g. details with work 😂

It's never been an issue, we both contribute equally to things, each knows what the other has, big purchases are discussed and agreed. We don't quibble over small things either e.g. my car had a repair done the other day a DH collected it from the garage so he paid for it but we don't do 'paying each other back' we just take it as family money. Equally I sometimes pay for things.

It's fine, there's more than one way to skin a cat. You can even have joint money and consider it all one pot whilst still having your own accounts. This is what we do.

I agree. If that works for you and you both trust each other it’s fine. There is no correct way, only what works best in the circumstances.

DH and I never had a joint account for years but about 10 years ago I became the higher earner by quite a stretch. Now we each pay into a joint account to cover all joint expenses, pro rata to what we earn. Both ways have worked for us.

YANBU. We have a joint account and a joint savings account, and we each have a current account and a savings account.

We agreed a reasonable amount of ‘pocket’ money each per month and pay the rest of our income into joint. What we do with our pocket money is our own decision. I always save a bit of mine as a like having a rainy day fund, plus some savings sit in there from before we combined incomes when we had DS. I would never want to be in a position of not having free and unmonitored access to money if I needed it.