to think joint accounts aren’t the only “right” way to manage money in a marriage?

YANBU. Married for 13 years and we've never had one. We've worked out our incoming and outgoings so we're both left with the same amount of spending money a month

We don't have joint accounts, married 14 years and never argue about money. DH pays the mortgage and all bills, and transfers money to me and him into accounts in our own name. We do general spending from those accounts and don't need to check with each other before making purchases. I spend on a credit card in his name and it gets paid in full by direct debit from his main account. I have some things paid for by standing order and direct debits from my own account. Bank transfers once a year to fill up SIPP and ISAs. We view all the money as family money and don't owe each other for anything, it's just different pots where family money sits. It's been easier for admin to keep it separate.

We haven't but all finances are joint.

We do the same - separate accounts but one pays direct debits (insurance, mortgage etc.) and the other does weekly food shops, petrol, clothes etc.

Cards are used interchangeably, and if one of us is a bit low before the bills come out, we move money across. Savings are with whomever has a savings account available to use, and we both have icers.

Childcare funded hours is done through one person, and the other does the child tax credit.

No issues around money - it's always been 'ours', since we started living together (15 years ago) Just couldn't be bothered to set up a joint account!

There is no "right" way. You do what suits your situation and relationship. We have a joint account for practicalities which we contribute relative to our salaries. After that our money is our own.

We’re married 20 years and never had a joint account. We’re luckily mortgage free but we spilt other household bills roughly down the middle, him gas and electricity, me council tax, WiFi and insurances. Then we spilt food costs weekly. We both earn roughly the same and are lucky that we dont need to worry about money. Bigger things we take it in turns- he paid to get the fencing done then a few months later I paid to get a bit of internal building work done.

I would hate anyone to have access to my accounts. I’m more of a spender (several girls trips away a year, concerts, shows etc) whereas he’s not. As it’s my money and doesn’t affect our household, it’s really none of his business!

I just find that really unfair. You are a huge contributing factor as to why your DH earns what he does, do you think he’d be where he is now if you hadn’t been the one to take maternity leave, and I have no doubt make plenty of other sacrifices as a parent.

This is why for me where children are involved it has to be family money, I think it is ludicrous your DH is financially better off than you. I assume his pension is much healthier than yours also?

We don't quibble over small things either e.g. my car had a repair done the other day a DH collected it from the garage so he paid for it but we don't do 'paying each other back' we just take it as family money. Equally I sometimes pay for things

This is the point. You need to be on the same page with regard to money, and to be happy to cover each others expenses etc. To view your overall income as joint money, and each have roughly the same disposable income to 'blow' on whatever you want. Having a joint account isn't totally necessary, but there shouldn't be a big imbalance in personal disposable income.

Too many times we've seen on here that women have to cover their own maternity pay, or pay towards a huge mortgage they can't afford, or not go on holiday while their partner buys a motorbike and a trip to the Caribbean.

It's about equity in finances (especially when children are involved), and not particularly to do with where the money is held (joint account, personal, savings etc)

I have a joint account and my own account. I transfer monies into the joint account for my half of the bills.

We historically had our own accounts and each paid an amount into the joint account to cover the monthly outgoings.

In the last couple of years, as we are aging, we have made all the accounts joint as DH is the one who has always earned the most and therefore saved the most, and we thought if something unforeseen happened to him, it would make sense that I had immediate access to the bulk of the savings.

I’ve never had a joint account nor would I ever.

It just wouldn’t occur to me to entangle myself in this way and leave myself vulnerable in the event of relationship breakdown.

I’m generous and pay my fair share, I just never want to be in a position of not having access to money only I have access to, if that makes sense.

On a separate but related point, I also would never want to not earn my own money and to make myself financially dependent on anyone (a partner, family, the State). It would be unthinkable.

I guess so but I don’t want for anything and nor do DCs. These threads are always food for thought.

Why? My husband has never paid a household bill in his life, nor does he know how much they are, because they are my department.
I do all the dull stuff like bills, council tax, food, mortgage (when we had one).
He gets the fun stuff, plus capital items, like holidays, cars, major house repairs etc and investments. Over the years he has way out-earned me, but we've never felt the need to tot it all up.
Like I say, it just works.

Exactly this!

You are right, OP. We have been married for 36 years, and never had joint accounts or credit cards. It just works, and means that we rarely need to discuss money. It also means that each of us can maintain a level of independence.
(To be fair, we did have a joint mortgage back in the day).

Every couple should do whatever is best for them - there are no rules.

We did the joint account thing put in the same proportion of our wages and kept the rest, also had separate accounts. Once we'd paid off the mortgage we just dumped the joint account and pay our own bills and each is responsible for some of the household bills. Both ways have worked fine.

@Pearl69 does that mean he has much more money to spend on himself though?

We have separate accounts. Dh pays the mortagage, various bills and is in charge of the "entertainment budget" (going out, which we do a couple times a week). I get the shopping and a couple of various bills. I am in charge of the savings. Which also means i pay for the big stuff, like the car and holidays.

It works for us. We each end up with roughly the same disposible income. We both contribute. It plays to my strengths: careful with money and organised.

This is going to sound bad, but it keeps dh on a tighter finanical leash. He is shit with money. But he knows this and is happy with the arrangement. It has worked for about 10 years now.

I’m with you OP - 27 years married and we don’t have joint accounts.

DH pays the bills etc, I keep myself , help out with spends for my uni DC, pay for my car, pay smaller bills and one big shop a month. DH doesn’t have access to my accounts and has no idea how much I have saved. He has no interest at all but if he asked I’d show him.

Our salaries are vastly different so I suppose that’s how things have worked out. He earns 10 times what I do.

My name is on his accounts only should I ever need to access them. I never spend anything from those accounts myself . I guess we are all different and what works for couples. I just can’t imagine not having my own money and rainy day fund.

I had a joint account with first husband. Our wages went into our own account then we transferred 50% off the bills into the joint. Except most months he was either late or ‘forgot’. Second marriage and now DP we are each responsible for various bill that almost equate to 50/50. I’d never have a joint account or share funds after finding out 1st husband ran up £50k of debt and I was on the hook for half!

We have a similar set up. Husband pays all the bills including the car. I pay for the food, day to day costs and our savings.

We have been together 17 years and never argue about money. Works well now im on maternity aswell.

I would use my own money until we'd sorted out finances. We both have enough in our own accounts to cover bills for a good few months at least.

We have the same set up.

Until people start to separate, or divorce it's never an issue. And if money's not a problem then I can't see why anyone could get excited about it at all