AIBU to be annoyed the breakfast bowls were still in the table 24hrs later?

If clearing it up is something he usually does and this is a one off or rare failure to stick to what's generally his chore then I'd try not to remark on it at all.

He might not even have been in the room at the time? He may have walked in and found everyone’s plates on the table, with the expectation that he’d clear it all up.

I didn’t say it was on the OP to do? I said that’s what I would do, as the part time worker. Not that it would ever happen though, my husband and children wouldn’t leave their dirty plates on the table for me to tidy up. Basic respect.

OP should have moved her own dish but I personally would have told my DH to leave it and I’ll sort it once he’s gone, knowing that I had nothing else to do all day.

Everyone clears their own plates here. No argument then.

I’d call them back to deal with them themselves.

Why would this be on OP to do?
She was working an 11 hour shift, whilst her DH was sat at home doing nothing all day.

The least he could do was make sure the breakfast stuff was put away.

It’s the bare minimum of someone who only works PT.

Who should have moved the OP’s dirty dishes from the table?

He’s not a SAHP, he works part time.
I don’t see my job, as a part time worker, to be to pick up after everyone in my house. I’m not a skivvy or a housemaid. If they got up after breakfast and left their plates/bowls/cups on the table with the expectation that I’d clear them away, I’d call them back to deal with them themselves.
ETA not that my husband or children would do that. They will either put their stuff in the dishwasher or, if it’s full, rinse them and leave them by the sink. I don’t have to ask, they just do it.

Yes of course but OP was working an 11 hour shift and her DH had all day free.

So DH should have been the one to make sure the DCs were tidying their things away.

The onus is still on him, whether he did it himself or made the DCs do it.

My children chips in and help with cleaning it's a good life skill to teach to young people.

YANBU

His ‘job’ as a SAHP is to cook and clean etc.
What else is he doing whilst you do an 11jour shift.

Before he started making the lasagne, he should have tidied away the dishes.

You say you suggested he make a lasagne - did this have anything to do with it?
Was it an act of defiance type thing.

Why couldn't your eldest help out you said they don't need physical care.

Sounds like it’s time for a reset of the rules.

No one gets up and walks away, as a minimum they carry their crockery etc to the sink if the dishwasher needs emptying or it goes straight in the dishwasher if it’s empty. I couldn’t fathom anyone in this house just walking away. Anything left on the table needs putting back in its place too.

There’s a minimum of jobs that need doing everyday, emptying and restacking the dishwasher being one. If he’s at home he should be doing it!

He was making lasagne, that doesn't take all day. Surely at some point he'd want to use the table. Personally it would of been the first thing I did.
He sounds disorganised/and or lazy to me.

This post and the responses are AI.

This entirely. My toddler takes her plates and bowls to the counter next to the sink. If older children aren't doing it then the parents have made their own bed.

Lasagne may take a long time to be ready but it’s not constant cooking. While it was cooking there was definitely time to empty and restack the dishwasher, wash up the stuff used to make the sauces, and generally make the space clean and tidy. Suggesting that because your bowl was also on the table, he was reasonable not to clear it, is frankly ridiculous.

Is it worth a terrible row?
I don't think so.

He was at home, he should have done them. The argument about whose things they were doesn't really hold water in a family, does it? OP was off to work to make money for the family, or should that be only for herself since everyone should be so self sufficient?

Is he generally someone that does things in his own time or do you think there might have been an element of irritation and/or resentment at being told to make a lasagne for someone else? To be honest, that might also piss me off. It's a time consuming and messy meal to make. I might feel like someone was taking my time for granted or dictating how my time should be spent.

Yes, he should have tidied away dishes. 22hrs per week is not working ft, though 😂

The only way that one partner supporting the other financially works is when there is a match as to the level of domestics the supported partner does, and the level the supporting partner wants. There isn't any point strangers chipping in as to whether he's lazy or you're demanding, as they will be coming at in from their perspective and standards, which are irrelevant to your situation.
I think you need to sit down with him and have a conversation about what's fair to you both, how you both want your home to be run, who does what, and if this way of life is working, and what are the alternatives if it isn't. Because if you don't get a balance the resentment is going to be poison.

At the very least, teach the children to stack their dishes on the bench if the dishwasher is full or put their dishes straight into the dishwasher if it's empty.

Surely he went to the place the dishwasher is located to make the lasagne, so could've taken the dishes on his way.

So many dysfunctional folks about making each other miserable ☹️.

This. Including the one with anxiety.

@Tigerswift So I'm your partner in this case: husband works ft mo-fri, 2-3 days wfh, 2-3 days travelling. I'm not working even though my kids are teens due to ds1s needs- like yours very anxious. Dh always leaves his bowl out at the table. When he's working (out or wfh) I really don't mind getting it. But when he's off like week-ends I find it very disrespectful of him to leave it there and I don't let him get away with it. He's the first one to tell the kids to clear their plates and make their beds so it's quite paradoxal that I have to tell him about these things.

So - you are def not being unreasonable! Especially since you work so long hours. Dh could clear his plate while wfh but since it's a partnership and I have got more free time than him I happily do it.