To not want to talk to my neighbours?

Exchanging pleasantries is a " lot of effort" Seriously?

Good for you - I couldn’t deal with that. It sounds full on

I live in a block of flats in London. As of last summer we’ve been doing monthly drinks (not everyone!), we make sure we take in parcels if left out and tell people in the WhatsApp (everyone), we’re having a garden drinks do end of summer for those who want, and some of us ladies have a WhatsApp group too (Rivals rewatch incoming).

it’s really nice knowing the faces of people you’re passing and makes it feel a lot safer too.

My direct neighbour popped over to grab her parcel the other day, left with a bowl of rhubarb crumble and gave us half a pot of cream for ours!

It’s a lot of effort for very little reward

But in doing so, you’re closing your mind to the possibility that some people living in your area might actually be your soul mates. I have good relationships with lots of neighbours, but there are a handful that I’m really close to - people who share our values, who we love spending a night with, who have made a real difference in our lives, who have made me grow as a person. My life would be poorer without them, and our friendships started very randomly - a chat on the street, waiting for the school bus, that sort of thing. I think it doesn’t hurt to keep an open mind about the fact that some of your neighbours might be amazing people who you would love if you got to know them.

Lol. Ok. Thats going to be harder gor more people now with so many WFH.

I assume they did say something random that was sweetsod all to do with work else theyd just be colleagues still , not friends

Obviously not - why would they? Don’t get me wrong, if they came to me in a crisis I might help but I wouldn’t expect them to help me.

And isn’t it rather transactional to be there for your neighbours purely so that they are there for you (which is how I’m ridding your comment)

And the people I became friends with were people I got to know mainly through work so it’s not like they were randomers who decided to strike up a convo for no reason

Except that doesn’t follow. Like I said I have friends but I don’t bother with neighbours. Just because you happen to live in the same area doesn’t mean you have anything in common.

Yes But you'd have had to bother with " randomers" in the first place to actually make friends wouldn't you.

So it's not likely that you would be the sort of person that can't manage a nod and hello to the neighbours

How awful. A bit of civility is a very good thing. You don't need to be best friends with neighbours but it's often very useful to have a civil relationship.

But friends and neighbours are separate entities to most people in the same way friends and colleagues might be.

It is possible to have many friends but still not bother with neighbours

But some people seem to think it is. And you can always just say" cant stop, busy day" and move away with a smile

Arent all friends " randomers" to start with though?

Cant do much if you dont have family members

Jesus Christ - and we say young kids are growing up with no social skills. Is it any wonder when their parents are even too anxious to chat to a neighbour for 2 minutes.

Because presumably not wanting to talk to randomers means that they couldn’t possibly have friends and relatives that they are close to. 🙄

A smile and hello isn’t intrusive (especially as it can be easily avoided by pretending not to have seen) until it turns into someone taking that as their cue to bend your ear for ages after.

I live in a huge city. There is a lot of neighbour my chat. If you’re not keen be polite but keep walking/ moving.

Well maybe they'd been so antisocial that everyone had ditched tgem

And how would you know if you were buying a house next to these deviants

If course not lol. But nothing wrong with " hello hope you are ok . Bit chilly today isn't it" and move off.

But some people obviously think that's " intrusive" and " people getting involved,,"

Do you have to speak consistently for 20 minutes at every interaction. I have one neighbour who is quite chatty but I use body language to make it clear when it's a, "hello" and straight back inside or stop to ask them about themselves. I find people like that and then you are free to go.

Again, there’s nothing wrong with being friends with your neighbours if that’s what you want. I was just responding to the suggestion that people left lying dead for weeks end up that way because their neighbours don’t check on them. Surely it’s a much bigger worry that they don’t have anyone else close enough (in the non-geographical sense) to care?

Reform flags ffs. Rather see those than the deviants mobs that go after our kids.

But why is it important to know your neighbours in those circumstances? One thing we learned from COVID is that people will trample their own mothers to stock up on toilet paper, and fuck what everyone else needs