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AIBU?

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Original poster

to cuddle a man?

65 replies

R0XY · 01/05/2026 23:10

I have a close male friend. Sometimes he stays over at my place and we sleep in the same bed.
(I only have one bed)

Often I wake up and he is holding me/cuddled up to me. It’s comforting for us both.

Is this actually OK? I feel confused.

OP posts:
Holidaymodeon · 01/05/2026 23:36

R0XY · 01/05/2026 23:31

Our relationship is platonic. If my girl friend stayed over she sleeps in my bed. But we don’t cuddle and I would find it strange if we did !

Im confused because on one hand it’s a platonic thing but on the other hand it wouldn’t happen with a female friend.

Also if it’s OK to platonically cuddle in bed when you’re single then why is it not if you’re not single.

it makes me feel like it just shouldn’t be happening.

Show quote history

If you’re not comfortable with the cuddling then stop sharing your bed with him.
weird post unless you’re trying to say he’s overstepping your boundaries and you aren’t sure how to articulate it?

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 01/05/2026 23:33

It makes me feel like it just shouldn’t be happening

Okay, so don't let him stay overnight anymore.

Confusion over.

TeenLifeMum · 01/05/2026 23:33

It would suggest to me he likes you. But overall, I wouldn’t share a bed with a man who wasn’t my husband as that would cross a line in our relationship.

MrsShawnHatosy · 01/05/2026 23:32

As long as you are both single I don’t see the issue. Humans need contact.

Original poster
R0XY · 01/05/2026 23:31

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 01/05/2026 23:25

I do not know why you are asking this.
It seems blindingly obvious to me, that if either of you had partners, you shouldn't be getting into bed with other people and cuddling them.

What are you confused about?
I'm confused, trying to work out what you're confused about.

Show quote history

Our relationship is platonic. If my girl friend stayed over she sleeps in my bed. But we don’t cuddle and I would find it strange if we did !

Im confused because on one hand it’s a platonic thing but on the other hand it wouldn’t happen with a female friend.

Also if it’s OK to platonically cuddle in bed when you’re single then why is it not if you’re not single.

it makes me feel like it just shouldn’t be happening.

OP posts:
Inthenameoflove · 01/05/2026 23:28

R0XY · 01/05/2026 23:20

We are both currently single.
Neither of us are gay.

Can I ask though. Why would it not be ok if either of us had partners. Surely it’s either ok or not ok. This is why I’m confused.

Show quote history

Unless you are openly in a polygamous relationship and so were he, then your respective partners would rightly be very unhappy and almost certainly consider it a form of cheating. Since you are single, it’s a bit odd but fine if you are both happy with it.

pizzaHeart · 01/05/2026 23:27

How old are you both?

BuffetTheDietSlayer · 01/05/2026 23:27

R0XY · 01/05/2026 23:20

We are both currently single.
Neither of us are gay.

Can I ask though. Why would it not be ok if either of us had partners. Surely it’s either ok or not ok. This is why I’m confused.

Show quote history

Stop acting daft.

LulaLulaByeBye · 01/05/2026 23:25

You are both single so it is OK to share a bed, cuddle him, kiss him, have sex with him, whatever.
If either of you were not , none of those things would be appropriate.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 01/05/2026 23:25

R0XY · 01/05/2026 23:20

We are both currently single.
Neither of us are gay.

Can I ask though. Why would it not be ok if either of us had partners. Surely it’s either ok or not ok. This is why I’m confused.

Show quote history

I do not know why you are asking this.
It seems blindingly obvious to me, that if either of you had partners, you shouldn't be getting into bed with other people and cuddling them.

What are you confused about?
I'm confused, trying to work out what you're confused about.

DeskGnome · 01/05/2026 23:22

R0XY · 01/05/2026 23:20

We are both currently single.
Neither of us are gay.

Can I ask though. Why would it not be ok if either of us had partners. Surely it’s either ok or not ok. This is why I’m confused.

Show quote history

Oh turn it in with the ‘confusion’ lol.

Original poster
R0XY · 01/05/2026 23:20

DreamyScroller · 01/05/2026 23:12

It's not "not okay" (unless you or him are married or in relationships, of course) but is a bit weird.

Is he gay?

We are both currently single.
Neither of us are gay.

Can I ask though. Why would it not be ok if either of us had partners. Surely it’s either ok or not ok. This is why I’m confused.

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 01/05/2026 23:13

Have you asked him not to?

TimeForTeaAndG · 01/05/2026 23:12

What's confusing? Does he have a partner so it feels like he is emotionally cheating with you?

Do you want more than cuddling?

If you are both ok with it and noone else is bothered then of course it's ok. Friends can cuddle platonically.

DreamyScroller · 01/05/2026 23:12

It's not "not okay" (unless you or him are married or in relationships, of course) but is a bit weird.

Is he gay?