Hi all,
Bit of background. DH is the househusband for our 2yo DS. I earn significantly more than he would and we don’t want to put DS in nursery so it made sense. My DS from a previous relationship has autism and struggles socially so I homeschool.
DH however barely cleans up, unless it is putting the odd dishwasher load or running hoover round. He says it is due to having to look after DS (even though I manage to keep things going even when I have him). He doesn’t do washing, takes months to put away clothes, leaves his bags, dirty clothes and shoes laying round etc which let’s be honest, is typical of a man. He also does not contribute financially despite getting an income through his private rental and spends all his money on himself. I buy EVERYTHING, from nappies, to food, to days out etc. He usually goes out 2/3 nights a week for hobbies whereas I probably go out once every 6 weeks for a coffee with friends.
I work from home and also homeschool my older DS during my working hours too as DH says he can’t do it which I understand and was my choice.
I have my grumblings, but I take this on the chin as it was a joint decision to keep DS2 off nursery and we knew there would be slight uneven scales.
Recently however, I have had a cardiac event during the week which they believe is due to an underlying heart issue and have been put on beta blockers/statins whilst undergoing further investigations. I am still waking up with DS throughout the night, doing 90% of the household chores, homeschooling and working. He has to rock our DS to sleep (another issue, it takes about 30 mins each time!) for both their nap and bedtime. DH has done the last 3 days and just said it’s not fair he has to do it again tonight, to which I stated I have done everything else and he said “well I cut the grass today too and maybe you should rest instead of doing housework” to which I gently replied “I have to or no one would”. He’s then said “well you will have to rock him both days tomorrow as my arms hurt and I have tennis Sunday and I won’t be able to play properly otherwise”.
I understand it is hard work, and he has had to do it more than me over the last few weeks as I also had a MC so was in pain, but usually we split it. He is also out all day Sunday so I will have to do it then too.
AIBU to expect a bit of help during this time? Or does my DH sound unreasonable?