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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Baby with surname of current and ex partner aibu

62 replies

smucker · 01/05/2026 20:57

A friend recently had a baby with her new partner. Wonderful news. She has 3 older kids with her ex husband who have his name only. She goes by her maiden name now. She has announced the baby surname which is double barrelled- it is both her ex husbands name and her new partner (baby daddy) name. Is it just me or is that a bit weird?

OP posts:

WhenTheDustSettles · 01/05/2026 21:25

ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 01/05/2026 20:58

Her choice!

It is, but it can still be a bit weird. If you think it is. It's asking for opinions.

Original poster

smucker · 01/05/2026 21:23

That’s my point- her ex husband has an unrelated baby bearing his name. And they are not close at all far from it

OP posts:

Mistymaglets · 01/05/2026 21:15

MayDaySunshinePlease · 01/05/2026 21:10

She's not, she's giving the youngest a name connection with their older siblings.

Show quote history

The older siblings have a different father.
They have his surname.
The baby has his/her own father.

If she wants them all to have a link it's through her, she could double barrel her own name with all of them.

I cannot imagine what the Ex thinks about an unrelated baby bearing his name.
I cannot imagine what the baby's father thinks about give the baby another man's name.
I would assume they are all happy seeing as they've done exactly this, and that's really all that counts.
But you will never convince me that it's not a bloody weird choice.

outerspacepotato · 01/05/2026 21:15

If he hasn't agreed to it, yes, weird. If he did, fine.

purpleme12 · 01/05/2026 21:15

Well I don't think it's weird, because I can see the reason she's done it

Jessamy12 · 01/05/2026 21:14

Her choice, I can’t judge 🤷‍♀️

LizandDerekGoals · 01/05/2026 21:13

I dont find it odd. She is making sure her children have the same name.

Kellybloom · 01/05/2026 21:11

Yes, I’d find that odd.

MayDaySunshinePlease · 01/05/2026 21:10

Mistymaglets · 01/05/2026 21:09

I agree
The ex is not related to this baby.
She could have put her name or dad's name or double barrelled those two.
Giving the baby the surname of a man who it's not related to is weird.