Anyone else quite enjoy the Empty Nest?

I think you've misunderstood the thread. Perhaps you have little children and not a houseful of late teens early 20s?
Virtually every post celebrates the joys of their children. We are talking about adult children who have left the family home and what it's like for the parents in an empty nest. I was bereft at first but now I don't miss the chaos , of family life. I still adore it when they come back to stay from time to time, bringing all that noise and mess back briefly but I don't cry when they go now.

Yes!! We’re not quite empty nesters yet, 17 year old still to head off to Uni next year, but I’m loving this stage. DS1 graduating, making plans to move in with his GF, talking about the future and us not having to rush around for any of it! It’s lovely…

• so no I haven't enjoyed her not being here. I didn't care that her room was a tip. Just close the door!

I dont value a tidy house above the value of my children

After an initial wobble, mainly due to other non-related family issues, as a single parent/person, I have never been happier. I have downsized to a semi rural area, which is where my heart always belonged, and feel rejuvenated as I plod round fields and paths and watch nature change and unfold. I nearly moved 100 miles away but am now only 10 mins from each DC. I'm glad I made this decision but once they are past baby stage in their lives, I may just move out even more rurally again, health depending. I absolutely love it.

I'm so very sorry that you were treated how you were in your childhood, but from what I've seen on this thread barely anyone that's posted has said they regret having children, or wished they didn't have any. Far from it. Almost all of us have said how much we love our children. Most of us will have given the best part of our adult lives making sure our children are healthy, happy, confident, functioning members of society. All we now feel is entitled to a little 'me time'. I don't see why you feel entitled to tar us all with the same brush as your parents.

And as for how my children feel - not once have I ever told them I'm happy they've moved out. They get nothing but genuine love and warmth from me. Not all of us are as selfish and vindictive as you describe your mother.

I’m so sorry that this was your experience.

For clarification, our children were much wanted and much loved. They know that. They’ve been told that hundreds of times throughout their lives. We are still close to them, love spending time with them (we regularly have holidays with our adult children) and we are privileged to call them our friends as well as our children. I never wanted a different life and neither did DH. We poured ourselves into being the best parents we could be and despite the many mistakes we made along the way, they have emerged as wonderful, independent, interesting adults who we love dearly.

However, now that they are old enough to make their own way we are thoroughly enjoying this new season for all that it offers, just as they are enjoying their lives independent of us. As I said, we gave parenting our all, (happily) made plenty of sacrifices along the way and spent many years focussing on giving them the best life and opportunities that we could. We don’t have to do that any more and we are enjoying being able to spend our time and money doing what we want. I don’t see that as a problem, or sad. In fact I’d be more worried if we were still running around after them and propping them up like we did when they were youngsters.

Again, I’m really sorry that you didn’t experience this yourself. I’m sure those wounds go deep. Take really good care of yourself 💐

I'm halfway there and can't wait to be fully there, but that's at least four years away yet!

I adore my children but yes, am relishing the idea of a quiet, tidy house!

A couple of people I've spoken to about my eldest staying in her university town when she graduates have looked at me with a worried and empathetic look, only to be greeted with a smile of glee from me 😂

My relationship with my eldest is stronger than it's ever been now that she's standing on her own two feet, but she still knows that we're there to catch her when she falls.

Lovd them to bits. Two are heading off today and i will be fown to one and it will be very relaxing hopefully. Yanbu. After a couple of decades of running around after them it is not unreasonable.

I miss my two but I love being free of the ‘ what’s for dinner’ daily chore. So freeing to just have something from the freezer or beans on toast.

This thread makes me feel sad. Its all about how happy you are now that your children are gone. What about how the children feel?

I am the daughter of a mother who always told me that she regretted having children. She wanted a different life. My father also found having children too much of a responsibility , and abandoned us when he met another woman.

My life was a misery from start to now.

Why oh why don't people put more thought into what they do , BEFORE they have children. Of course if you have a child it is going to be an 18 year commitment at least
If you don't want that, dont have a child. Dont have a child and then regret it, and make that child suffer.

This thread makes me feel sad. Its all about how happy you are now that your children are gone. What about how the children feel?

I am the daughter of a mother who always told me that she regretted having children. She wanted a different life. My father also found having children too much of a responsibility , and abandoned us when he met another woman.

My life was a misery from start to now.

Why oh why don't people put more thought into what they do , BEFORE they have children. Of course if you have a child it is going to be an 18 year commitment at least
If you don't want that, dont have a child. Dont have a child and then regret it, and make that child suffer.

This thread makes me feel sad. Its all about how happy you are now that your children are gone. What about how the children feel?

I am the daughter of a mother who always told me that she regretted having children. She wanted a different life. My father also found having children too much of a responsibility , and abandoned us when he met another woman.

My life was a misery from start to now.

Why oh why don't people put more thought into what they do , BEFORE they have children. Of course if you have a child it is going to be an 18 year commitment at least
If you don't want that, dont have a child. Dont have a child and then regret it, and make that child suffer.

Omg me too! I feel awful for saying it but I am
loving my new life of no kids at home, everything is so calm and tidy and I never have to think of what to cook for tea. DD graduated last year and I doubt she will come back. DS in 2nd year at Uni but not coming home for summer and wants to move to another city when he graduates next year - he has my full blessings*

*Goes without saying I love them more than life itself of course!!!

Yes that would be awesome. One day with mine as cuddly two and four year olds!

I'd always have them back if they needed it, if they were in that position it would probably be because life isn't going to plan. DS2 bounced back three times. After uni, then covid messed things up for him, then again in between flats. I absolutely loved it each time, having him home was a bonus I never expected and I was sorry to wave goodbye when he left. However I'm thoroughly overwhelmed that and love the empty nest now.

They left ten years ago in my house, best thing ever (yet obviously love them so much)

I love sitting around in my pj’s cuddling the dogs and drinking endless cups of tea with zero demands on my time. Was fabulous being an active parent but really glad when it was over.

This always amazes me. My DD was the same every time she had been back and left- during university, leaving to live abroad for e months and more recently moving in with her bf. Every time she leaves her room like she'd gone out for the night 😂

How long are we meant to store things for, especially when they're not even on the same continent!

I just hope my 2 never want to return home.
😉😁😁.

I cannot wait. Three down one to go. DH would like them to stay for ever. I just want them gone. Love to see them for life lunch or a weekend. But need them and their mess and demands for attention gone.

Oh yes. I love my empty next so much I moved abroad!

Why did you choose to have them? Do you remember why?

I have decided not to have children

We love it too! I sobbed my heart out when DS went to uni and then again when DD went 3 years later but after a few days DH and I were fully in the swing of loving having the place to ourselves.

We married young and had the children in our mid to late twenties so now we’re doing all the things our friends were doing in their twenties, but we have the money to do it in style! We’re having a brilliant time!

Our two finished uni several years ago and are both now married and settled. It’s so lovely to see them thriving and making their way in the world and we adore spending time with them…..but we also love the fact that it’s just the two of us now.

As a friend with three grown up children said ‘We love it when they come over and we love it when they leave!’

If only our 2 would move out.