Anyone else quite enjoy the Empty Nest?

I adore my Dd. But she was 24yo when she moved out to go to uni. She’s having the time of her life living in a big city, being an adult, has a whole new life. I see her quite a bit (I go over to her ) we had brunch today, her life is exciting and totally moving on and I’m thrilled for her.

She’s not planning on coming back over the summer. I reminded her she can come back for all of it, some of it, or none of it. Whatever she wants. She knows she’s welcome back.

It’s not full of people who adore their kids.

one poster wrote ‘what was it all for’ when she thought back on her kids

@Scarlettjune it's not about being glad that your children are gone. It's about being proud of watching them fly. It's about embracing who you are having succeeded at raising your children and them becoming independent. As a parent of younger children it gives me joy to see these stories. I'll absolutely feel it when my children don't live at home anymore, I love their company and their craic, but I also want them to go off and live their lives for themselves and on their terms, that's not a bad thing.

Your experience is very different and I am sorry you experienced that.

@Scarlettjune This thread should make you feel the complete opposite of sad. It's a thread filled with people who adore their kids and are proud they've got them from babies to adults and doing what they're supposed to be doing. I have children in laws now too and I LOVE how much my family is growing and yet I'm also glad that my day to day parenting job is done. DH and I did a great job!

Both my Kids were more than ready to leave and have thrived. They did not have the same childhood experience as you as they grew up with a Mother who has adored them, it is sad you experienced this. After 23 years of always putting them first i am now loving putting myself first and make no apologies for this, it does not deplete my love for them one bit in fact DD is sitting next to me having come home for the weekend and I could not be happier to see her.

After a couple of days feeling the loss, I suddenly realised we could go out and not have to tell anyone where we were going or when we would get back, no having to tell our young adult children that we are out for the evening so they can cook for themselves and what not to use in the fridge as thats for tomorrows dinner.

As a couple we felt the we had gone back to pre children days, no responsibilities other than for ourselves, as everyone else said, we love our children and still spend a lot of time with them but I am enjoying this stage of my life.

I'm still having this with dd2. Luckily if she doesn't like what I'm making she'll sort herself something else. Happens most days!

My two are mid twenties and have REALLY flown the nest. One in Oz, one in Far East.

I’m bloody proud of how I raised them as a single mum. We’re in pretty much daily contact, usually initiated by them. Just silly or interesting things that have happened in their days, much like we used to share over the dinner table each evening. Not needy on anyone’s part, just nice relationships I guess.

I’d always thought it was a parent’s role to prep your kids to go off into the big wide world. Whether that was a few roads away, or thousands of miles.

And I’m also someone who loves living alone. Everything on my terms (especially bathroom use!) Brilliant.

Yes, this is the bane of my life. I have grown to absolutely hate this question and the jobs involved in answering it!!

How lovely to see a positive thread about this. I’m a few years off uni age etc but I’m genuinely excited to see where they go and what they do. I’ll fill my life easily enough and get to watch them fill theirs too. I can’t wait to find out what they become as adults.

I know I’ll miss them, I’m not daft. But I’ll not be bereft.

I don’t think my dd is going to go to uni, but yes I will be nothing but delighted for her as I know how much fun and what a wonderful experience she’d have.

because she is the oldest of four, I will miss her loads as she is the one who keeps me sane!

I feel sorry for the women (it's always the women) who sob all summer at the thought of their DC going off to university. I simply don't understand it.

Of course I felt apprehensive about DD going - would she be lonely, would she cope with the course, would she make friends etc, but crying all summer over it is ridiculous. I was so excited for her to start the next chapeter in her life.

Yep. I did. Practically did cartwheels around the house. 😂

This. Saying that we want the quiet years does not mean we don’t love and want our children. I would never tell them I don’t want them.

I can’t wait, to be honest. Adore them of course.

my friend told me she can’t wait for her son to go to uni and that’s it, he isn’t coming back! They’ve saved all his life and will probably buy him a property when he does. I thought that was a little extreme, but fair enough.

It’s normal and healthy to enjoy the empty nest years. It’s as it should be and why I think the teenage years can be so hard. They prepare you so both sides are ready and crave independence.

I adore my children,they know they’re loved and will always have a home year but boy am I ready for them to spread their wings. We’re nearly there.

This thread makes me feel sad. Its all about how happy you are now that your children are gone. What about how the children feel?

@Scarlettjune I think you’ve completely missed the point of most posts in this thread. Indeed, several posters talk about how they love their children to bits and wouldn’t have any other way, but that they are enjoying some of the newfound freedoms and lack of chaos not having children around brings.

We are close to being an empty house, but it also coincides with a time when i have less energy and my job is changing. It’s a time of amazing potential re-growth for people in the next stage of their lives. This isn’t about loving or not loving your children, and I don’t think it makes any of us less suitable parents if we love the space and quiet their departure brings.

I’m sorry for your circumstances.

I agree with this. We are older parents, and DH has had some very serious health issues. It was of the utmost importance to us that DD learned how to be independent. I love it when she comes home to visit. She is great company and we like doing stuff together.

Failure to launch would have been one of my greatest fears for her.

Ohhhh it's bliss I love it!

I adore the very bones of my DC, never have I ever regretted having them. They have been the absolute centre of my world for 24yrs... them moving out doesn't change that. They can come home whenever they want, and they do. I love being with them and make sure they know it. I just love the peace and quiet and creating a new life for myself, it's exciting.

Plus, I remember when I moved out, first just for uni but I only came back for a few weeks after uni before I moved out again. It's a very exciting time of life, and I'm excited for my DC. It isn't all about me, it's about them setting off into life and I get to watch them shine.

None of the people have said they didn’t want their children. They’ve mostly said they love their children immensely but are pleased to have some time for themselves. When you’ve put everything into loving and caring for your children for over two decades it is normal to enjoy having a bit more time to focus on yourself and not having to clean or cook for others etc.

My primary aged DC talk about when they get married and have children, and how they'll ALL live together in OUR house! I'm gently laying the groundwork by saying 'I'll always love you, even when you're a big grown up IN YOUR OWN HOUSE' 😂

I’m not sure I’ll ever be a classic empty nester. Younger child is disabled and might need to live with us a lot longer than many children. But I also want to move once they have finished school as there would be little tying us to the area we live now. So we may move but take him with us, depending on what he wants to do after school. So I think I’ll never experience living in my current house without kids here.

I missed them at first, but you do get used to the peace and the tidiness.

One is on her way back very soon though. Let's see how that goes, both for her and us 😁

I’m in my late 30’s with two toddlers, so I’m a way off yet. I’m wondering if I’ll feel that way, as I had my 20’s and 30’s without kids or a messy husband, so don’t feel like I’ve lacked in the ‘me time’ department. Though I have two boys close in age, so by the time they’re late teens, I might feel differently 🤣

Yep I love my children and grandchildren and they are welcome to visit whenever they like but it's so peaceful when they go back to their own homes, they also phone regularly and I phone them , I can watch what I want on telly and as bikers we can go to rally and bike shows, gigs etc without having to consider anyone but ourselves, the nearest son also comes over and looks after the cats when we are on holiday