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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my dd is very young to be pregnant

254 replies

Nantobeb777 · 01/05/2026 20:02

Just 23

OP posts:
MasterBeth · 01/05/2026 20:48

In 2026, of course it's young.

How will she support the baby?

Dublassie · 01/05/2026 20:48

Agree . Way too young to get bogged down with kids . I think 30 is perfect . Young people should live their lives first .

DelilahBucket · 01/05/2026 20:48

I was 22 when I had my son. It had it's disadvantages. I didn't have a career knuckled down, I was skint, no life experience (and no one around me to guide me due to an abusive partner who alienated me from my friends and family) and I regret not getting to travel when I was younger.
BUT, all that said, it had a lot of advantages. I was young and had bags of energy. DS is 18 and I'm only 40. I'm young enough to get my life and career back, and I have more money to travel. I am very close to DS, I attribute this in part to being younger when I had him. I couldn't have any more children. Had I not had DS when I did, I wouldn't have had a child at all.
Things happen for a reason, even if it is not clear at the time.

ainsleysanob · 01/05/2026 20:47

I was knee deep in IVF at 23!

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 01/05/2026 20:46

Not really. I was 24 when I got pregnant the first time and I was married with my own house.

applebee33 · 01/05/2026 20:46

Had my son at 23 , glad I did . I’m a young mother now and get on so well with him

XenoBitch · 01/05/2026 20:45

Hesma · 01/05/2026 20:43

My mum was pregnant with me at 23 and had me at 24

Perfectly normal years ago. For some reason, now seen as "too young".

IWaffleAlot · 01/05/2026 20:45

I think it’s very young. Does she have a job and financial independence, a home or living in her own place, a decent partner who will step up?

Hesma · 01/05/2026 20:43

My mum was pregnant with me at 23 and had me at 24

flagpolesitta · 01/05/2026 20:41

Nowadays it is younger than average but nothing out of the ordinary and a perfectly good age to have your first baby imo

DuskOPorter · 01/05/2026 20:40

I looked young when I was younger. I got carded when I was pregnant but I was 27. I’ll never forget one of my mother’s friends saying to me you look very young to be pregnant. My mother turned on her heel and said she is 27 I’m willing to bet you were younger and walked away.

Good for her not tolerated me being shamed. Definitely don’t be the one doing the shaming. Having kids younger is awesome in middle age. I’m nearly done with it all and I’m relatively young.

35965a · 01/05/2026 20:39

Nowadays it is young, I agree. Not ‘too’ young or anything. I had my first at 25, most of my wider friendship/acquaintance group didn’t start having children until we were in our early-mid thirties. Depends on your social circle.

Maray1967 · 01/05/2026 20:39

Elisabeth3468 · 01/05/2026 20:07

Had my first at 25 and second at 28. I'm now 30. No I don't think 23 is too young if that's what she wants. It's more a case of can she provide for the baby, have a stable job or income, and a roof over her head? Not to do with age.

This. I have a relative who had her first at 23. No problem - she & partner had their own house and enough money. When I had DS26 years ago the woman in the next room was 23. She was struggling - but that was because she and partner did not have their own place and could not afford to live together. They were both still living with their parents.

Sugarfish · 01/05/2026 20:39

I think it probably is young by today’s standards but it’s not so young that she’s a child having a child. I think it’s got it’s benefits. Obviously she’ll have more energy, will still be youngish when they reach adult hood and with any luck they’ll have a great relationship that gets to last many many years.

Owly11 · 01/05/2026 20:37

context?

HotGazpacho · 01/05/2026 20:37

Is this meant to be today’s bunfight thread?

Bourneyesterday · 01/05/2026 20:37

Of course it is very young to be pregnant. Very young and too young are not the same thing. She is probably too young for your own sake but old enough for the child's sake.

Cherrytree86 · 01/05/2026 20:37

Presumably she doesn’t live with you, OP?

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/05/2026 20:36

23 is fine

what age were you

ERthree · 01/05/2026 20:36

I had all of my 3 by the time i was 23.

Owlmoonstar · 01/05/2026 20:36

I was slightly younger than that when I had my first. And when I look back, yes I was too young.

But it everyone is different in terms of maturity.

Is she financially stable?

XenoBitch · 01/05/2026 20:35

YABU she is established into adulthood. My mum had me (her eldest) when she was 22.

TapestryNeedle · 01/05/2026 20:34

Unless she is mentally young, in need of a lot of support, no 23 is perfectly fine to be a mother. 18 plus

BunnyLake · 01/05/2026 20:34

I suppose in today’s terms it’s quite young as it’s taking longer to settle into their own homes and have independence because of the cost of everything, and jobs being hard to get/keep. Certainly not considered too young in my mum’s day, where late 20s was considered old to have your first.

fluffiphlox · 01/05/2026 20:32

I’m in my late 60s (no children myself) but my mum had me when she was 24 and that was entirely normal. I think we have normalised women having babies much later in life.

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