Page 16 | AIBU to not have had a night away from my children?

Moreroardinosaur · 2026-05-01T18:28:29+00:00

The reason I’m asking is because a colleague is away for the weekend. She came back to work in January after having a baby, so her DD is around 16/17 months now. She also mentioned she had a weekend away in February. My DS is now five and I have a two year old as well. I’ve yet to have a night away as DD still doesn’t sleep through and I’m not sure DH would wake up / be able to sort her (she can be a bit funny overnight.) Is it just me?

YourShyLion · 01/05/2026 20:07

I have never left mine overnight and never would. People choose to be parents, it's not part time.

GoodkneeBadKnee · 01/05/2026 20:07

Amazing.

Fireangels · 01/05/2026 20:06

Roads · 01/05/2026 19:53

Did your children not have sleepovers, go on residentials, stay with relatives or camps before then? I find it incredibly unusual to have never slept away from them once in a decade.

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No, never at the same time!!!
DH worke d overtime most Saturdays (unless he was fishing!) so I couldn’t go anywhere.
My DM looked after them for the weekend for my 40th birthday which was lovely when they were 10 and 8.
To this day my PIL have never had them overnight. Bit late now, they’re 30 and 28!!!

WorkCleanRepeat · 01/05/2026 20:04

Mine are 9&10 and ive still never had a night away.

My husband would be just fine, but I dont want to go away without him and I wouldn't leave the kids with anyone else so looks like we're just holidaying together!

MarianofSherwood · 01/05/2026 19:54

@Moreroardinosaur there's no right or wrong answer imo. Some have nights away from their babies, some dont. Each to their own. As long as you and your babies are happy, thats all that matters xx

ainsleysanob · 01/05/2026 19:53

My son’s first night away from me and DH was when he was about 5 weeks old! He and we were perfectly fine. Probably left him overnight with DH, his perfectly capable parent, when he was 3 months old.

DarkForces · 01/05/2026 19:53

Do you want a night away? If so go! They'll be fine with dh

Roads · 01/05/2026 19:53

Fireangels · 01/05/2026 19:48

Other than being in hospital pregnant with DD2 I didn’t have a night away from my DCs until they were 10 and 8. The only time my DH look d after them alone at night was when they were 14 and 12. I went away for work for 3 nights.
DH on the other hand had regular 3 night fishing trips from when DD1 was 4 weeks old 🤷‍♀️

Did your children not have sleepovers, go on residentials, stay with relatives or camps before then? I find it incredibly unusual to have never slept away from them once in a decade.

wishfulthinking25 · 01/05/2026 19:53

I have a 2yr old and 10m old. I have never had a night away from them, doesn’t mean I don’t want one though!

FrLarryDuff · 01/05/2026 19:52

I’d have been demented. Surely in all that time you’d have wanted a night away with your husband or mates?

thistimelastweek · 01/05/2026 19:51

Its not unreasonable if you've never wanted a night away.
I'm curious to know if the unreliable dad has ever had a night away.

GrumpyOldWoman2 · 01/05/2026 19:50

Fireangels · 01/05/2026 19:48

Other than being in hospital pregnant with DD2 I didn’t have a night away from my DCs until they were 10 and 8. The only time my DH look d after them alone at night was when they were 14 and 12. I went away for work for 3 nights.
DH on the other hand had regular 3 night fishing trips from when DD1 was 4 weeks old 🤷‍♀️

Sounds miserable.

Smartiepants79 · 01/05/2026 19:50

Well you must do what makes you happy but I do find it unusual that you’ve never left your children or been away in the last 5 years. Particularly for the reasons you’ve given. Some people do this as a very deliberate choice. They choose not to t stay away from their children. That is fine. It’s a bit odd in my book but it’s fine. Lone parents also, may not have the opportunity to leave their children and that is a different scenario. The fact that you appear to have not left your children because you can’t trust their father to care for them adequately is not a good look.

OneNewLeader · 01/05/2026 19:49

I suspect your colleague has a more capable support network, which enables her to go away and do things that interest her outside of being a mother. You should be applauding that, even if it’s not something you’d want to do.

Fireangels · 01/05/2026 19:48

Other than being in hospital pregnant with DD2 I didn’t have a night away from my DCs until they were 10 and 8. The only time my DH look d after them alone at night was when they were 14 and 12. I went away for work for 3 nights.
DH on the other hand had regular 3 night fishing trips from when DD1 was 4 weeks old 🤷‍♀️

Alwaysthesameoldstory · 01/05/2026 19:46

I didn't want a night away from from my DS so it wasn't an issue for me. My first DS died at 3 weeks so I was exceptionally not wanting to be separated from my second DS when he was tiny even though I knew my H could cope and be a loving and responsible Dad.
It all depends on how you feel OP.

Gagamama2 · 01/05/2026 19:45

16/17 months is fine to be away from your baby for a night…its wierd you are judging your colleague.

IWaffleAlot · 01/05/2026 19:42

YouLookLikeStevieNicks · 01/05/2026 19:40

Honestly baffles me why so many women choose to have children with men who are incapable of looking after them.

Exactly and it baffles me why anyone has sympathy for them. It’s a choice.

mondaytosunday · 01/05/2026 19:41

Sure for one thing I was in hospital for four nights with my second. My DH handled it fine!

Roads · 01/05/2026 19:41

Honestly this isn't something you should be pleased with. Your children have two parents and if you heaven forbid got hit by a bus tomorrow he would have to step up. I would recommend getting away for a night ASAP.

toomuchfaff · 01/05/2026 19:41

I’m not sure DH would wake up

You're probably right, why would he?

He has never had chance to be the primary caregiver because you've never let him; (she can be a bit funny overnight.) translates to i'll do it all

YouLookLikeStevieNicks · 01/05/2026 19:40

Honestly baffles me why so many women choose to have children with men who are incapable of looking after them.

Newname29 · 01/05/2026 19:39

Do you want a night away?

Meadowfinch · 01/05/2026 19:37

I didn't have a night away from ds until he was five, but I didn't want one so I didn't feel deprived.

PullingOutHair123 · 01/05/2026 19:36

Don’t martyr yourself. Your DH and your child/ren will cope.

Probably happy to see you back, and maybe not everything will be done as you would do it. But they’ll be fine.

Dont infantile your DH either. He’s their father. Let him act like one.