Year 8 relationship dramas

Then I'm glad I'm out of it if there are now two feral year groups. Never thought there was a good reason to have SATs!

There were quite a few lesbian relationship dramas and fallings out at DDs girls school but certainly nothing on this level. Can depend on the year group remember my dad (taught for years) saying some year groups were really difficult and others were fine. So can be luck as to what your cohort are like..

Mine is at an all girl’s school and while there is certainly some drama it’s all fairly low level, easily resolved and nothing like described in the OP. Single sex schools get demonised but it’s definitely been the right choice for my daughters. They’ve been able to concentrate on their studies and their sports.

Sounds exactly like my year 8 in the 2000s but nothing like DC Year 8 in 2026.
🤔

Exactly! Year 7s are nervous about no longer being top of the pile like they'd been in Primary school, Year 9 used to be in SATs mode and Years 10/11 were gearing up for GCSEs. That left Year 8 who had found their feet, had the new Year 7 to pick on and no exam worries!

I worked in my career in all boys, all girls and mixed school and the all girls school was by far the worst, girls can be utterly toxic to each other and boy, do they hold a grudge! The boys would also have dramatic rows but were more likely to punch each other and it was over.

You ask her what she thinks, how does she feel about it. You sympathise/empathise when it’s a tricky situation (like the pregnancy) - that must be so hard and scary- , you express your opinion on others “that’s silly/daft/dangerous in my opinion because..”, you intervene and tell your daughter you’re doing so if it’s a safeguarding issue, you let some things go because they just happen. I’ve done all these at some point or another .More importantly you listen.

🤣

Is it otherwise a good school/area? It sounds a bit rough. I would be looking to move her for year 9.

A lot of them will be chatting shit though.

Yeah Year 8s are completely unhinged.

I've taught at a lot of places and also been pastoral lead - yes, most of that will be exaggerated. If you do know for certain that some children are snogging 'and more' in school, school would want to know.
We are talking about 12 year olds here - some of them will have older boyfriends and that is clearly a safeguarding concern.
Very unlikely that a child is pregnant but if they are, that's a social services matter. I have once had a 13 year old pregnant but that's the youngest - teen pregnancies aren't super common anymore in my anecdotal experience, because many girls are more aware of access to contraception.
Vaping is an issue though!

I wouldn’t move her, same shit difference place. In my experience there is a massive chasm between kids at this age and beyond actually. Some like your dd and my ds are quite child like in many ways. Others are having sex, drinking and trying to grow up before their time. It’s quite normal and all you can really do is keep communication open with your dd and encourage her to be herself. Don’t start doing out of character things to fit in with a crowd, many of whom are probably exaggerating and talking shit about their escapades anyway.
It’s part of growing up unfortunately. I remember it well from my own school days and would say I was a lot more street wise and ‘mature’ than my own dc are at the same age.

Not normal at our state school Year 8.
A few girls vape, a few boys fight. But mostly they’re playing sport, Minecraft or going to scouts.
Saw a group of 5 Y8s at parkrun this morning.

Also pleased my DD is in a girls school

i would consider moving her. This surely is not normal

if this type of activity is part and parcel of DD's everyday school life, then sadly, she's old enough to be informed of sex and sexual relationships.

By "demonising", I mean that you seem shocked that a 12 yo is pregnant, rather than furious and sad that a child under the age of consent has clearly been coerced/forced/neglected. I'm not necessarily saying you are actually demonising her to your DD. But you have put the 12 yo pregnancy into the same category/statement as the kids snogging and drama. They're not the same thing at all. One is abuse/neglect of an underage child, the other is kids experimenting and engaging in drama.

Because obviously there’s never any drama in a girls school.

Most of the kids will not be engaging in these activities.

Do not try to shield your child from the experiences she sees at school. She is plenty old enough to know about relationships and sex, to observe the experiences of her peers and learn from these interactions how to navigate her own relationships in the future.

You need to learn that being sexually precocious is not catching and actually think about the reasons that girls of her age are using sex as currency and validation, or being coerced/abused.

She needs to learn to avoid early sex because she is not ready and there is no need to saddle herself with a partner when this is a time for fun and personal investment, not because children who are precocious are "bad".

I really hope you are not demonising the 12 year old who is pregnant. Your DD is old enough to learn about peer on peer abuse, consent, STIs and contraception.

@Crunchymum agreed that its not representative, i was replying to posters above who implied that single sex schools are worse, or that fights are a boy thing.
They are not, it can be managed:)