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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pretend you're swallowing a big piece of meat.

208 replies

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 01/05/2026 17:23

Have been to the hospital for a Gastroscopy. Consultant came to have a chat before the procedure, just him and I in the little room.
He explained what would be happening and said " as the tube goes down, pretend you're swallowing a big piece of meat".

I was nervous about the procedure and once it was done, I was chatting to a male friend and mentioned the comment above.
Friend says to report him as that's unacceptable language from a professional and thinks it was a sexual innuendo.

Also thinks it would have been inappropriate to a vegan or someone with eating issues.

YABU : It was an innocent remark.
YANBU: Dirty minded consultant.

OP posts:
canuckup · 01/05/2026 20:30

Lame gallows humour attempt????

MyUniqueRubyPoet · 01/05/2026 20:29

Omg when I first read the post I didnt think for one minute it was sexual until you mentioned it. Your friend sounds very immature.

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 01/05/2026 20:29

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 01/05/2026 19:15

Drip feed alert, not NHS but point taken still.
I was doubting myself as friend said imagine him saying it to a young girl.

It did make me think twice hence asking.

FFS. It's a very sensible way to describe what you've got to do, tell your friend to get their mind out of the gutter.

XenoBitch · 01/05/2026 20:27

If you don't chew properly, meat can be hard to swallow. I nearly died alone due to not chewing some pork properly. If it had been veg, then it would not have been a problem.

I have a dirty mind, and I would have noticed the innuendo, but I would also realise that it was not meant as one to start with,

XenoBitch · 01/05/2026 20:24

Yarboosucks · 01/05/2026 20:02

I think vegans are told to imagine they are deep throating a dildo.

How do they cope when having to say 'cheese' for a photo? 😂

Yarboosucks · 01/05/2026 20:21

Is your friend Zack Polanski?

EmeraldShamrock000 · 01/05/2026 20:21

Think of a piece of steak 🥩 not a penis.

JJWT · 01/05/2026 20:19

Seriously, what?! If he's going to encounter accusations like that, he needs to say chicken or something. Definitely not sausage. Just when you think you've seen the worst non-post, the platform surpasses itself!

MaidMiriam · 01/05/2026 20:19

Completely reasonable description. I would have suppressed a snigger, a la Finbar Saunders from Viz, but then I am incredibly puerile.

AD1509 · 01/05/2026 20:18

Don’t be stupid OP. You come across like an utter fanny here 👎

Yarboosucks · 01/05/2026 20:18

But seriously OP, I think you should report your "friend". They have committed a thought crime against your gullet.

MyCottageGarden · 01/05/2026 20:13

🤨🤣

BunnyLake · 01/05/2026 20:12

PoppinjayPolly · 01/05/2026 20:06

or an aubergine? 🍆

Show quote history

😂

I think I might have sniggered but offended? God no, I was brought up on Carry On Doctor, Carry On Nurse and Carry On Matron!

PoppinjayPolly · 01/05/2026 20:06

Yarboosucks · 01/05/2026 20:02

I think vegans are told to imagine they are deep throating a dildo.

or an aubergine? 🍆

Yarboosucks · 01/05/2026 20:02

I think vegans are told to imagine they are deep throating a dildo.

NoWinnersOnlyLosers · 01/05/2026 20:01

This is one of the reasons the NHS is in tatters.

The amount of time wasted by doctors replying to such ludicrous complaints boggles the mind…

OP with all due respect, did he touch you in any untoward manner? Was he making sexual remarks? If not, just let it rest. They have a lot of responsibility and not the time to waste on such absurd non-issues. If he would have said imagine you are swallowing a big fat sausage whole… I would think twice.

Your friend has a lot of free time apparently. What about volunteering?

Bedlingtonwarrior · 01/05/2026 20:01

Either grow up or get a life.
Ridiculous chauvanistic male friend !!!!!

MermaidofRye · 01/05/2026 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Yarboosucks · 01/05/2026 19:51

Your friend is a prat for what they said, but you are worse. You had the chance to think about the ridiculousness of their comment but you wrote it down and posted it! If you ever need a colonoscopy, brave yourself!

Damnloginpopup · 01/05/2026 19:45

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 01/05/2026 19:37

Smut is in the eye of the beholder. Get it out with Optrex. (as Spike Milligan didn't quite say.)

Get it out you say?

susiedaisy1912 · 01/05/2026 19:44

🤣🤣🤣

inickedthisname · 01/05/2026 19:39

Blimms · 01/05/2026 19:23

Saying what to a young girl? Only you are linking eating meat to a penis. Literally nobody else in the world would hear what the dr said and think about oral sex.

And, if you’re actually eating a penis during oral sex you are definitely doing it wrong

Show quote history

Exactly - who’s trying to swallow one?

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 01/05/2026 19:37

Smut is in the eye of the beholder. Get it out with Optrex. (as Spike Milligan didn't quite say.)

Damnloginpopup · 01/05/2026 19:36

Certainly sounds to me like he said "imagine deep throating Liam Neeson's massive cock."

Not.

NimbleHam · 01/05/2026 19:35

Err you are being unreasonable. Never try to get someone fired unless they have inflicted a similar amount of distress onto you through their actions.