AIBU to think this level of drinking may be a problem?

Apart from the daily drinking I think gping out a couple of times a week and getting drunk is quite common, I’d not be worried about a 25 year old doing that, the drinking seems to be social and a glass or two in the evening

im also unsure if your motivation is as clean here as you’re making out. Something feels off.

I was similar to this at age 22-25. But it was also different times at the start of the 2000s pre 9/11. We often had wine with lunch (city, banking) and I drank in all bar one/pitcher and piano after work with colleagues on more occasions than I can count.

If I wasn't out with work I'd have a glass or two of wine with dinner every single day - after a long gym session in Holmes Place on the way home.

I occasionally got so drunk I ended up in a hotel and having to buy clothes and makeup on the way to work.

As I got older it just fell away. It was a novelty for a few years, felt grown up and exciting. Often the company was paying.

I'm now 48 and drink very little. I'm not sure at that age it is a massive problem. BUT it is if it affects her work. And she may find she regrets all the opportunities to progress in her career that get ruined by hangovers.

Even without the getting drunk, this level of drinking is against the guidelines and is not ok. A lot of people on MN are very dismissive of the damage from alcohol, but the WHO is clear that the only safe level of drinking is none at all - the guidelines about limits are harm reduction measures, not a statement that it is ok or healthy.

You're talking about 40 evening units and another 10 at lunchtimes,so 50 units a week. Advisory limit for a man is 21 per week, less for a woman. Typically that person will be unfit to drive at least two mornings a week.

I left my ex when he drank a bottle of wine 6 evenings a week, three pints of beer on the seventh evening, and usually a pint or two on Sunday lunchtimes. Or 65- 70 units a week.

There were some evenings I drove ex home and he was so drunk I couldn't wake him and had to leave him in the car.

I couldn't allow him ever to drive baby ds or leave ds in his care. It was safer for ds & I to leave.

I should have left sooner. If this is your partner don't leave it too long.

I drank about that at 25. Never held me back in any way. I drink far less now because I’m old and tired!

@Iglootooo the not eating at lunch is problematic. I used to do that so I could get drunker, not saying that it's the same for this young lady, but it is worrying and something to keep an eye out for. She's lucky to have someone like you that really cares for her.

I'm more relaxed than most of MN about alcohol, but yes, this sounds problematic.

I don't know how she gets away with the lunchtime drinking at work. I thought that was all over these days.

Yes, I think that's far too much alcohol to be having on a regular basis. The body needs some alcohol-free days each week, to give it time to process it out of the system. The person's liver will be under constant stress if they continue with their current consumption.

It's a health problem. They're increasing their risk of cancers, liver disease etc. The calories they're consuming will lead to weight gain.

Who knows if it's an addiction yet
Why are they drinking? Can they stop tomorrow if they wanted to?

At 25, and due to work norms, it’s not unusual but I think firms aren’t really happy about day drinking these days?
Your friend will either grow out of it or she won’t.
Try not to worry.

When it's every day of course it's a problem.
Just the 1-2 drinks every night is problematic, not because of the quantity but because of the frequency it seems needed.

Add on getting drunk on every night out and almost every day lunchtime drinking too at the age of 25 and female this person's drinking is no doubt affecting her health, regardless of whether it's affecting her behaviour.

Yes, alcohol problem. Sorry this is happening. If you’re close to her Al Anon or similar could help you if you’re thinking of bringing it up.

It’s a problem if they are unable to function without alcohol, and are unable to stop.

How old is the person? I feel like if they're 22 I can get it but 42 it's a lot of booze and they must feel rough a lot.

I think 5.30pm-2am is a lot of drinking on a normal night. My work nights tend to be 6-9pm and I feel rough the next day.

The big question is then - what problems does the behaviour cause you personally?

Wow, I could've written that 9 years ago! Nobody knew just how much I used to put away - I would even nick sherry from my granddad's decanter and fill it back up with water! 😬 I used to justify it by saying 'i don't drink everyday' but I could only go two to three days before I'd need to get blotto drunk again - I could never have just one. Thankfully those days are long gone now.

To answer your question, OP. Yes, it's a problem and it's a slippery slope. Believe me, I've slid down it. It took me everything to climb back up. It's still an every day battle. But every day I win.

Lunch drinking is only for holidays.

Point taken.
I just have never met a soul who gets rat arsed twice a week and drinks most days but then skips and off lunchtime tipple.
Sadly, when you’ve been around alcoholism a lot you get to see red flags flying.
Most days.
1-2 times a week.
That tends to be what you get told, not what you actually see.
I’ve just been burned that many times.

Yes, it’s probably a problem. Beyond it being well over healthy limits, and that’s a problem in and of itself anyway, I am very doubtful that someone who has 1-2 drinks at lunch and 1-2 drinks at dinner daily is actually not drinking more in between.

I say this as a recovering alcoholic. I often had drinks at socially acceptable times and in socially acceptable ways. But my 1-2 drinks at lunch was often more like 3-4, because I’d order a large wine at the bar every time I went to the loo. It’s quite hard to have a drink at midday, stop, and then start up again at dinner…unless you’re Spanish or French and you’ve been socialised to it. If I drank at lunch, I’d always continue. I had secret stashes everywhere or what I thought were crafty reasons to ‘run to the shop’ to get single tins of wine to drink secretly somewhere. What everyone around me thought I drank was about a 10th of what I actually drank.

Now if this person is French, yes, having 1 drink at lunch and 1 at dinner really is cultural. They probably aren’t drinking from the box o wine in the shed like I was. But otherwise with this pattern, I’d be concerned about secret drinking.

Hmm, she didn’t say they couldn’t stop,and I’m not sure I agree.

she didn’t say they have a glass of wine every day, she said not all days
she said it’s one or two a night, so sometimes it will be one. So they can do 1-3 drinks a night, and that’s fine as clearly some days just one drink.

the two nights a week getting drunk is the issue.