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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this fair?

214 replies

notgivinga · 01/05/2026 14:15

One of my nieces was getting married later in the summer, but last week it was all called off.
she had a hen party booked abroad and everyone going has paid nearly £300 as a deposit which has now obviously been lost.
she has now written in the group that she is so sorry but they all need to pay a cancellation fee of just under £100.
Do you think this fair. Just as an aside the wedding is off as she was texting other men.
BTW it’s not me going but my daughter

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 01/05/2026 15:08

everyone going has paid nearly £300 as a deposit which has now obviously been lost

No way would I be forking out another £100 on top of this.

dcsp · 01/05/2026 15:08

To clarify, do you mean:

  1. Whatever company the £300 deposit was paid to is only refunding £200, so people will be out £100/head
  2. She has paid out money over and above the deposit so wants another £100/head from people

If it's (2), it's obviously unreasonable.

If it's (1), the right thing for her to do would be to refund the £100 that the company won't refund, but it's fair IMO for her to not have the money right now and so to promise to give people it later.

GreenHay · 01/05/2026 14:53

What was the full cost of the holiday each.

Not Bride should pay.

And why should your daughter be worried about family fallout- Not Bride should be worried!

PeopleLikeColdplayYouCantTrustPeopleJez · 01/05/2026 14:51

Up to your daughter but no not fair at all and I would be ghosting that request/instruction especially as the wedding being called off is the brides own bloody fault. Bride can figure this one out. Either that or as others have said, go on the holiday anyway.

BellaVita · 01/05/2026 14:48

The niece needs to be paying the cancellation fee. This is all down to her.

notgivinga · 01/05/2026 14:47

The booking is in the hens name but it was booked with love holidays with easyJet flights .

OP posts:
Backedoffhackedoff · 01/05/2026 14:45

It depends on who is stuck paying the cancellation fee. If it’s some random hen then they can’t leave her to pay it, no.

if it’s the bride maybe. They could still go presumably?

JLou08 · 01/05/2026 14:44

It's not the hens that cancelled the wedding, they shouldn't be paying any cancellation fee. There should also be consideration to the trip still going ahead as a holiday so people don't lose their deposits.

MyCottageGarden · 01/05/2026 14:42

If there’s a deposit then there should not be a bloody cancellation fee! Tell your DD not to pay another penny!

Cosyblankets · 01/05/2026 14:41

notgivinga · 01/05/2026 14:36

It’s awkward for them all to go as my daughter was only going to keep the bride (not to be)sister company as they are older. I think my daughter will have to pay it as she doesn’t want to upset the family. I’m glad you all think it’s cheeky but yes there is a cancellation fee as it has been checked out online.

I'm guessing the cancellation fee will be because it's after the cut off point of 10 weeks or something

StandOutSpace · 01/05/2026 14:41

But why is it awkward to still go? Has everyone fallen out with the bride?

I have gone on a girls holiday that was supposed to be a hen do. Different circs it was the groom to be who called it off. But still why cant they go?

Winnieis · 01/05/2026 14:40

What exactly is the cancellation fee for? Hotel? Flights? Package holiday? Something else?

notgivinga · 01/05/2026 14:36

It’s awkward for them all to go as my daughter was only going to keep the bride (not to be)sister company as they are older. I think my daughter will have to pay it as she doesn’t want to upset the family. I’m glad you all think it’s cheeky but yes there is a cancellation fee as it has been checked out online.

OP posts:
Cosyblankets · 01/05/2026 14:35

I think I would rather go than lose more money and have no holiday

tealandteal · 01/05/2026 14:34

Did they get given the choice to still go? If the bride unilaterally decided to cancel it then she should pay.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 01/05/2026 14:30

This doesn't make sense. You've lost your deposit, what is the extra £100 for? Am I missing something?

Winnieis · 01/05/2026 14:30

BauhausOfEliott · 01/05/2026 14:26

If the £300 was the deposit, I don't see why there would be a cancellation fee. That's what the deposit is for, surely.

Is the bride scamming them or what?

This. You pay a deposit so the place doesn’t lose out if you just disappear/cancel last min etc.

Ablondiebutagoody · 01/05/2026 14:29

I wouldn't pay it

previouslyknownas · 01/05/2026 14:29

Who actually booked it

because that’s the person who will be on the hook for any further payments needed

Tableforjoan · 01/05/2026 14:28

Like everyone else has said why not just go as a girls holiday who wants to pay to not go somewhere. Madness.

SilverPink · 01/05/2026 14:28

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/05/2026 14:21

Cheeky mare. Obviously no, she torpedoed her wedding and expects other people to pay extra not to go to her hen do?! Her ex has had a lucky escape.

This.
Maybe everyone else can go without her, she certainly doesn’t sound very nice.

latetothefisting · 01/05/2026 14:27

Haha no way. bride seems on course to lose all her mates as well as her partner (and wedding deposit!)

I had a friend who was getting married abroad when her fiance pulled out last minute, we all just went on the holiday anyway.

How expensive is this hen? If they will be paying £400 each not to go, then going cant be that much more!

I suppose the only reason I might (very begrudgingly) pay it is because often its the maid of honour or bridesmaids that organise the hen rather than the bride herself, and I wouldnt want them to be out of pocket if they were my friends and the bride was refusing to cover it. But that would be the end of my friendship with her.

BauhausOfEliott · 01/05/2026 14:26

If the £300 was the deposit, I don't see why there would be a cancellation fee. That's what the deposit is for, surely.

Is the bride scamming them or what?

Grumpynan · 01/05/2026 14:25

No way ! So everyone has lost the 300 deposit and she wants another 100 to cancel , she should be reimbursing some of the deposit not asking for more

Arlanymor · 01/05/2026 14:24

So people have already lost £300 each and now stand to lose a further £100 each so £400 per person in total? I’d be going regardless and just treat it as a holiday. Not that I got to hen dos anyway as I don’t like them but in this scenario rather than lose shy of half a grand I would go and enjoy myself just as a normal holiday. Presumably people have already booked a time off work too which isn’t always easy to rearrange. I wouldn’t give the bride-not-to-be a penny given that she’s landed herself in this situation through poor choices and bad behaviour.