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AIBU?

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Is this fair?

214 replies

notgivinga · 01/05/2026 14:15

One of my nieces was getting married later in the summer, but last week it was all called off.
she had a hen party booked abroad and everyone going has paid nearly £300 as a deposit which has now obviously been lost.
she has now written in the group that she is so sorry but they all need to pay a cancellation fee of just under £100.
Do you think this fair. Just as an aside the wedding is off as she was texting other men.
BTW it’s not me going but my daughter

OP posts:
ParmaVioletTea · 01/05/2026 17:47

Oh thanks for that @Isittimeformynapyet ! I was reading too quickly and missed that!! BlushThanks.

Of course the ex-bride should eat the cancellation costs. The wedding is cancelled because of her behaviour.

She sounds like a bit ofd a low-life person all round.

ultracynic · 01/05/2026 17:46

Loveholidays will already have paid easyJet the full cost of the flights, which are non refundable. Even LH can’t get that money back. The hotel costs should be refundable though.

I would cancel the hotel booking (should get a full refund for that) and anyone who wants to use their flights can arrange to go to the same destination with whoever they want.

Isittimeformynapyet · 01/05/2026 17:40

ParmaVioletTea · 01/05/2026 16:39

No, it's not fair. The ex-bride to be needs to suck up the cancellation fee. It's her marriage she's cancelled.

If she was cheated on by her not-to-be husband, maybe her friends/relatives could take pity on her and help her out, but otherwise. Nope.

But upthread a PP - not @notgivinga - said it was the non-bride who cheated (how do you know???), so ...

From the original post but @notgivinga: the wedding is off as she was texting other men

It was not "not notgivinga" who said it, so ...

BillieWiper · 01/05/2026 17:39

kdoia · 01/05/2026 17:20

It's a group booking though. So an individual cant just say "oh I'll pay my bit and Im still going." Unless the whole thing is paid for nobody can go.

Ok fair enough. That's kind of awkward.

RollOnSunshine · 01/05/2026 17:38

The other guests did not decide to cancel so should not need to cover any more of the costs.
They have already lost £300.

Mistymaglets · 01/05/2026 17:36

Nope.
Bad enough they've all lost 300, but that's how deposits work... however seeing as the hen is the reason for the cancellation she should stump up for the cancellation fee.

She is an incredibly CF for even thinking that others should pay it.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 01/05/2026 17:29

The ‘bride’ is being a cheeky fucker. Can you speak to her parents? It seems bonkers that’s there a cancellation fee on top of losing deposit, but maybe it’s because it was close to the date. If it was my friends I’d just go on the holiday anyway, but I would be mortified if my friends lost out on £400 each, and furious if the ‘bride’ was my child and expecting friends and family to be out of pocket because of her actions. Don’t get me wrong, better the wedding was called off if she’s not actually ready to commit, but don’t let other people pay the price.

Monty36 · 01/05/2026 17:29

Total joke. If you cannot afford the cancellation fee as the bride you should not be travelling abroad for a hen do.
You don’t ask people to stump up for the fact your marriage is not going to happen.
I would love to hear how the bride justifies this to herself.

notgivinga · 01/05/2026 17:29

nobullshitformedagainstmewillprosper · 01/05/2026 16:31

Hell nah that's what the deposit is for! And this poor woman is going through such turmoil how awful of them to try and take advantage of her misery.

Sorry whose taking advantage of her misery ?

OP posts:
Flowerlovinglady · 01/05/2026 17:26

Why is there a cancellation fee - surely that's what the deposit covers?

Scorchio84 · 01/05/2026 17:26

nutsfornuts · 01/05/2026 14:19

Given she's going to be saving a chunk on the wedding I would expect the bride to pay that.

Absolutely this! Fucks sake that she's expecting the hens to cough up despite KNOWING she's been texting/sexting other fella/s is a disgrace.. in fairness if I was one of the hens I'd prefer her NOT to go now

FateAmenableToChange · 01/05/2026 17:23

These are not people you want to stay in contact with. Id take her to small claims to get the £300 back, just for fun.

SooPanda · 01/05/2026 17:21

No it’s completely unreasonable for the bride to expect the hens to pay the cancellation fee, as she is the one cancelling she should shoulder that cost.

kdoia · 01/05/2026 17:20

BillieWiper · 01/05/2026 17:18

Well what happens if you don't pay this fee? You're already giving them £300 and getting nothing in return. That barely makes sense tbh.

I mean I'd just go on the holiday if there were others up for it rather than lose £300. And have to pay this mystery extra 100.

As it stands it's pay about an extra £400 (guessing here obviously) to complete the cost of the booking and get a holiday, or pay the same to get nothing whatsoever?!

It's a group booking though. So an individual cant just say "oh I'll pay my bit and Im still going." Unless the whole thing is paid for nobody can go.

Grammarninja · 01/05/2026 17:19

Total madness! She should be trying to find a way of paying everyone back the £300, not expecting them to further lose out! I wouldn't dream of paying that. I'd probably have sent a laughing emoji in response tbh!

BillieWiper · 01/05/2026 17:18

Well what happens if you don't pay this fee? You're already giving them £300 and getting nothing in return. That barely makes sense tbh.

I mean I'd just go on the holiday if there were others up for it rather than lose £300. And have to pay this mystery extra 100.

As it stands it's pay about an extra £400 (guessing here obviously) to complete the cost of the booking and get a holiday, or pay the same to get nothing whatsoever?!

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 01/05/2026 17:17

Nope. Very unfair that she expects others to suffer financially as a result of her actions.

BrownBookshelf · 01/05/2026 17:07

Is it t possible for spots to be sold on to someone else, so anyone wanting to use the holiday with others could do so? Eg if say 2 hens no longer want to go but a remaining hen has two cousins who'd be up for it.

allthingsinmoderation · 01/05/2026 17:05

My daughter called of her wedding 8 weeks before because she discovered her fiance was a conman who had defrauded people and had CCJS . My daughter footed the bill for the deposit after first asking the hens if they still wanted to go to the spa hotel.
I dont think it fair to expect people to be out of pocket when a wedding is called off.

JoshLymanSwagger · 01/05/2026 17:05

I wouldn't be paying another £100 just to keep the peace.

The Not-Bride is responsible - she needs to be responsible for her own actions.

Dragracer · 01/05/2026 17:05

The bride should really be reimbursing everyone. The deposit is security if they can't go because of reasons of their own. Not that the bride has caused it to be cancelled. She owes them their money back. Like if the holiday company cancelled your holiday they'd have to give you your money back.

Wayk · 01/05/2026 17:01

getupdostuffgotobed · 01/05/2026 16:49

I might have missed it - but is this cancellation fee legit?

You/your DD needs to see the small print for themselves.

Then decide what to do? Tell the company to do one, the the bride that wasn't to pay up herself, suck it up and pay the £100 or go on the holiday.

Edited

Unfortunately with Love holidays it is but your daughter would be crazy to pay it.

Itsanewdawnitsanewdayitsanewlife4me · 01/05/2026 16:59

Bollocks to that, she fucked around so she should suffer all the consequences. If you think about you were all being hoodwinked as was her fiance who was getting married under false pretences. I would not give her a cent.

getupdostuffgotobed · 01/05/2026 16:49

I might have missed it - but is this cancellation fee legit?

You/your DD needs to see the small print for themselves.

Then decide what to do? Tell the company to do one, the the bride that wasn't to pay up herself, suck it up and pay the £100 or go on the holiday.

ParmaVioletTea · 01/05/2026 16:39

No, it's not fair. The ex-bride to be needs to suck up the cancellation fee. It's her marriage she's cancelled.

If she was cheated on by her not-to-be husband, maybe her friends/relatives could take pity on her and help her out, but otherwise. Nope.

But upthread a PP - not @notgivinga - said it was the non-bride who cheated (how do you know???), so ...