Is this fair? | Mumsnet

notgivinga · 2026-05-01T13:15:25+00:00

One of my nieces was getting married later in the summer, but last week it was all called off. she had a hen party booked abroad and everyone going has paid nearly £300 as a deposit which has now obviously been lost. she has now written in the group that she is so sorry but they all need to pay a cancellation fee of just under £100. Do you think this fair. Just as an aside the wedding is off as she was texting other men. BTW it’s not me going but my daughter

MoveOnTheCards · 30/05/2026 09:15

So what happened @notgivinga? Did anyone stump up?

Oldmamabear · 06/05/2026 23:17

Outrageous. I would be too embarresed to ask. Why do they need another 100 quid anyway they already have 300 and will probably resell the rooms too. No food or drink will be consumed, no beds slept in and no services or goods provided. At all. Ridiculous.

Arlanymor · 05/05/2026 19:05

notgivinga · 03/05/2026 18:36

Just a quick update the bride cancelled the hen do and then told everyone. It’s a block booking so I don’t think they can go without them all going as it would mean a change of booking. Also it’s another £ 250 each for them to go. My daughter never actually wanted to visit the place that was booked and was only going to keep the older sister of the bride company.
and just as an aside the bride has messaged today and asked can everyone pay the cancellation fee ! So far my daughter had ignored the message CFuckery at its best I think

"Are you for real? We've all already lost £300 deposit each due to you having cancelled the booking and now you want us to pay an additional £100 on top? So you want us all to be £400 out of pocket with nothing to show for it? I'd like to know how you think that is remotely fair or reasonable."

BruFord · 04/05/2026 16:38

notgivinga · 03/05/2026 18:36

Just a quick update the bride cancelled the hen do and then told everyone. It’s a block booking so I don’t think they can go without them all going as it would mean a change of booking. Also it’s another £ 250 each for them to go. My daughter never actually wanted to visit the place that was booked and was only going to keep the older sister of the bride company.
and just as an aside the bride has messaged today and asked can everyone pay the cancellation fee ! So far my daughter had ignored the message CFuckery at its best I think

Good for your DD @notgivinga - that text suggests that several people aren't happy to pay the cancellation fee.

The bride cancelled the trip without consultation, so she'll have to take care of it.

ThejoyofNC · 04/05/2026 13:47

I'd definitely be asking her to refund my £300 now after reading your update. How dare she take it upon herself to cancel and throw other people's money down the drain without even consulting them?!

Cosyblankets · 04/05/2026 13:34

notgivinga · 03/05/2026 18:36

Just a quick update the bride cancelled the hen do and then told everyone. It’s a block booking so I don’t think they can go without them all going as it would mean a change of booking. Also it’s another £ 250 each for them to go. My daughter never actually wanted to visit the place that was booked and was only going to keep the older sister of the bride company.
and just as an aside the bride has messaged today and asked can everyone pay the cancellation fee ! So far my daughter had ignored the message CFuckery at its best I think

So she didn't even ask?
Just cancelled it?
That's even worse

nomas · 04/05/2026 11:05

notgivinga · 03/05/2026 18:36

Just a quick update the bride cancelled the hen do and then told everyone. It’s a block booking so I don’t think they can go without them all going as it would mean a change of booking. Also it’s another £ 250 each for them to go. My daughter never actually wanted to visit the place that was booked and was only going to keep the older sister of the bride company.
and just as an aside the bride has messaged today and asked can everyone pay the cancellation fee ! So far my daughter had ignored the message CFuckery at its best I think

Sorry if I’m being dim, but what is the cancellation fee for?

If they are already losing their deposit of £300, then why is there a cancellation fee?

SteveHill · 04/05/2026 10:55

Other hens should have a holiday anyway. Maybe invite the bride's ex along so as not to waste her deposit, and he deserves a break.

cheesysitwots · 04/05/2026 08:07

nutsfornuts · 01/05/2026 14:19

Given she's going to be saving a chunk on the wedding I would expect the bride to pay that.

Agree with this

jdb9803 · 04/05/2026 07:57

asdbaybeeee · 03/05/2026 09:24

The bride should have taken out insurance on the trip!

Not sure insurance would cover a hen trip being cancelled because the bride to be was a cheat and the wedding was called off

dh280125 · 03/05/2026 22:56

Absolutely wouldn't pay that. Can't believe she has the cheek to ask!

Nothavingagoodvalentinesday · 03/05/2026 22:52

asdbaybeeee · 03/05/2026 09:24

The bride should have taken out insurance on the trip!

Holiday insurance doesn't usually work like that. Each person on the trip should have had their own insurance.

Minglingpringle · 03/05/2026 21:51

How can there be a cancellation fee? I can’t imagine that’s enforceable.

The deposit is the cancellation fee.

MoveOnTheCards · 03/05/2026 21:19

if I were part of this group I would be publicly replying ‘Seriously? You expect us to lose more money because you have cancelled? Please explain how you are justifying this’ and wait for the 👍 from the others.

Mayana1 · 03/05/2026 20:58

Sidebeforeself · 03/05/2026 09:13

I meant by going OP will still spend more money.Wasnt saying she shouldn’t go

Show quote history

I think I understood that you were saying she should not tell the bride to cover it herself? Maybe you mistyped it, cause I have seen you edited the post. I think we are on the same page :-)

croydon15 · 03/05/2026 18:56

Vaxtable · 03/05/2026 18:43

I would go back and say no sorry. We have already lost however much it was because of her behaviour getting the wedding cancelled.

I would say that the bride should reimburse the cost that all the hens have lost due to her behaviour, to have the cheek to expect people to pay more is total fuckery, l would tell her in no uncertain terms what to do, cf.

jdb9803 · 03/05/2026 18:55

I would say you want the deposit back or you'll take her to small claims court

Vaxtable · 03/05/2026 18:43

I would go back and say no sorry. We have already lost however much it was because of her behaviour getting the wedding cancelled.

Nugg · 03/05/2026 18:37

To be honest, that was a bit of a knee jerk reaction. Why did she not just have a girls holiday with her people?!

Tableforjoan · 03/05/2026 18:37

Keep ignoring her. What a cheeky sod

Original poster

notgivinga · 03/05/2026 18:36

Just a quick update the bride cancelled the hen do and then told everyone. It’s a block booking so I don’t think they can go without them all going as it would mean a change of booking. Also it’s another £ 250 each for them to go. My daughter never actually wanted to visit the place that was booked and was only going to keep the older sister of the bride company.
and just as an aside the bride has messaged today and asked can everyone pay the cancellation fee ! So far my daughter had ignored the message CFuckery at its best I think

OP posts:

JustMyView13 · 03/05/2026 16:55

Nothavingagoodvalentinesday · 03/05/2026 12:13

Of course it isn’t fair but what else can she do. Someone has to pay, your daughter agreed to go in the hen and presumably the bride herself can’t afford to pay for everyone’s cancellation. I’m afraid it’s just one of things where you have to pay up and forget about it.

Did you miss the part where the wedding is cancelled because the bride was unfaithful? It’s all the brides fault, she bought it on herself. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

JustMyView13 · 03/05/2026 16:54

Rather than cancelling, is a holiday change an option and paying name change fee? Does anyone in the group want to use the booking towards a summer holiday maybe?

MoveOnTheCards · 03/05/2026 16:39

@notgivinga Why is your daughter so concerned about keeping the bride and her family happy when she’s +£300 out of pocket because of the bride’s actions?

Have you spoken to your nice / her parents since the cancellation? Would you be in a more comfortable position to point out the cheek here (as your daughter clearly needs to see an example of someone doing this)?

MusicalRocks · 03/05/2026 14:12

Surely thats what the deposit is for? I thibk if your daughter is expected to pay she shpuld be shown the paperwork