Would you leave a 2 year old with older siblings for hours?

My siblings used to look after me all the time when I was a toddler. Some of my earliest memories are of them. I think it’s fine BUT I would compensate them in some way. My niece looks after my kids sometimes, but I always give her a take away or some money for it.

No I wouldn’t. It’s not the 16 year olds responsibility

@Wouldcou I think it's ok but probably not sustainable. I'd get heiver weights and/or a heavy kettle bell.

The argument that teenagers are parents is a red herring in debates like this.
A parent (whatever age) gets thrown in at the deepend and emersed in being a parent. You very quickly have to switch mindset from independent individual to person responsible for a dependant child! Things become automatic and you develop a thought process that involves always being alert and thinking ahead. Admittedly some are better than others at doing this, but the 24 hour a day responsibility is there regardless.

A teenager who babysits, spends the majority of their time thinking of themselves without responsibility for another little human. He/she hasn't built up the experience or mindset of what a 2 year old needs or anticipate potential problems.

They can learn, but most teen babysitters only do evenings when the baby is asleep. And most aren't doing that in a busy household with other teens/ children who also need oversight.

But plenty of 14+ year olds babysit toddlers outside of the family home, for money. If the 16 year old is happy to do it then no problem.

Can you not just go for a run, or go to a park on your own and do some circuits? One hour instead of 4 and £10 cheaper

No, unless it's clear it's a formal babysitting gig so one of the 16 and 15 year olds, preferably the older one, knows they need to be with the 2 year old all the time. They can't just all be at home doing their own thing with the older ones 'keeping an eye on' the 2 year old. Otherwise too much risk of all three of the older one's each thinking someone else is watching the toddler, at a crucial moment when an accident could happen.

You must live in the back of beyond if there’s no gym nearer than 2 bus rides away! In this instance, I’d say no, it’s not ok to leave your 2 year old for so long.

I think it’s too long to leave the 2 year old, and 3-4 hours for a gym session is a really long time.

Some options:

• look into super compact squat rack set ups. Some can even be folded away as long as you can store the barbell and weights
• a gym closer perhaps?
• im not in the UK, but garage gyms are super popular here. Do you have any neighbours or friends close by who have a gym set up you could use? A lady in my parents’ street lets neighbours use hers for a small fee.
• focus on dumbbells and invest in a good, adjustable, compact set.

We have a (very small!) home gym with just a weight bench and we manage. However, it’s true that you max out on the weights pretty quickly. We also can’t do certain movements, like a barbell squat, because there is literally not enough space to max out safely.

My mum goes to a gym that’s an hour away by bus (she takes two buses) but 8 mins drive in the car. Is there any way you can shorten the journey to the gym? Get a bike and cycle?

If the gym was closer I'd say go for it, but an hours travel away? Absolutely not. If there was an emergency you wouldn't be able to get back quickly.

Surely there's a closer gym? There's 4 in my area, furtherest being a 30 min walk away

I don't know if this is true of others, but when I babysat as a teenager I knew several adults who would have been available for advice in an emergency or to come and help - pretty much immediately so direct neighbours etc.

Do you have family members or close neighbours who would be available to help in this situation @Wouldcou

Is it in the evening, when the 2 year old is in bed or during the day?

If in the evening, then yes.
If during the day, I'd start with a shorter period and build up to 3/4 hours. It's a long time if you haven't left the 2 year old before. And if it's two buses, it doesn't sound like you would be able to get home quickly if the children aren't coping.

No. My mum did this. I was extremely mature, but the responsibility was too much and I got overwhelmed. The gym isn’t a necessity. You need to parent your children.

I was 17 when I had my eldest and perfectly responsible as a parent. Having said that, I’m not sure I’d leave my now 16 yo alone with a a 2 year old for hours just because, as lovely and intelligent as he is, he has very little common sense. Guess it depends on how trustworthy the 16yo is but also how happy they are to help.

I’d be looking for a closer gym for starters, that one sounds mega far away. Do you live rurally or something? Also some gyms have crèches.

I think leaving just the 16 yo in charge (it needs to be one clear person) for 1-2 hours would be absolutely fine. I babysat babies in my village at that age.
for 3-4 hours is the 16 yo happy for that? I think you could consider paying them as proper job.

I think the issue is the duration - 3/4 hrs is a long time.

If it was for something essential - hospital appointment I think it would be different.

You can definitely work out without this length of time -doesn't need to be a gym. You can work out at or near home and then if there is an issue, you are available.

Yes a 16 year old can babysit a 2 year old - as long as they are happy to do this and you have talked them through emergency situations. I did babysit at this age and younger but I was aware that the parents were a phone call away and would have been back within 15-30 minutes in an emergency - it doesn't sound like you could do this.

They can, but should they be expected to is the question really. I don’t think so. Mine were always busy at weekends and evenings during the teen years, expecting them to give up 4 hours for a trip to the gym is excessive imo.

I wouldn’t but then I never left my elders to babysit - they do it now they are independent adults but when they lived at home I placed no expectations on them at all to look after siblings. It seems like a huge time out of one of the weekend days too, would the older kids just be expected to stay at home so you could take 4 hours to go for a workout? Add to that once a week at the gym is probably a waste of you own time, it’s not going to give you much progress and you would be far better doing gone workouts and brisk walking with the 2 year old in buggy more regularly.

Of course a 16 yr old can look after siblings, remember on MN people don’t leave their kids until they’re 25 😀

Id say work out at home as well. I wouldn't go that far away just for the gym. How responsible are the older 2?

I think it needs to be very clear which older sibling is in charge of the 2 year old. (My sister and I used to divide the time between us when left to babysit our siblings, as we argued otherwise, but with a toddler a more serious worry is that each gets engrossed in something and neither notices a potentially dangerous situation.)